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Thursday, August 22, 2019

Miss McGee

I know it's hot, and I know you know it's hot, but the hot heat is so fucking hot, that one has to say my God is it hot. With the sun reflecting off pavement and cars, and the wind blowing, you're walking jerky in no time should you venture outside in the desert in August.

Which is what I did. I was kind of at one of those make or break junctures. I'd had a good lead today but had blown it and was now down maybe $100. If things went badly, I could end up down $300 or $400 today rather than eking out a win.

If you know me, and by now you should, you know that I like a good eke as much as anybody.

So, I hoofed it over to T.I. by way of Wynn, Inferno-land, the Venetian Maze of Shops, Blow Furnace-town, and finally to my destination.

I thought I had $5 of freeplay, but I didn't. Not sure when that stopped. I dropped $20 on dollar full pay jacks and got nowt. And I dropped another $20 on Buffalo, because the two blackjack tables open were completely full.

After a little wander and ponder, I re-checked and a spot at blackjack had opened up. The shoe was just finishing, and I bought in for $100.

My hope was that I could last two and three quarter hours and finish way up, upon which time I would hit up the pit boss for a coffee shop comp with which I would eat Kung Pao chicken the next day.

What happened was that I did indeed have a really solid run and after 40 minutes, found myself up $175. Play was for the most part uneventful, except for one hand where the guy at third base, inexplicably, stood on 12 to the dealer's face card, causing the entire table to lose. I might have muttered the word 'twat!'.

That was in the early going, though, and the session generally was smooth with three or four blackjacks coming my way.

When things turned a little, and I really started to think about protecting my win, rather than going for longevity. I really didn't like what I'd done at the Cal a few days ago, dumping a significant win so I could keep playing longer.

I set aside $225 and made a $15 bet. I'd either win and continue, or that would be that. And that was that, the dealer pulled 21 to my 20.

The T.I. Terror Tram to Mirage was working, so I fled the Island.

It's nice to see the lucky protuberances are still bringing joy to men and boys alike.
Miss McGee

Mirage has sure changed. 'Nuff said.

Wandering the casino, I thought I'd give some old school dollar slots a try with $5. That didn't work, so naturally, I followed up with $20 - and ordered a beer.

One thing I did notice, though. I now had just over 75,000 points. I'd already made Gold. Perhaps the Luxor system had finally updated things. Anyway, bully for me, I'm Gold now. That gets me... what? We'll see.

The twenty wenty and the beer didn't arrive so I stood around for a while. Why do I care that the server might bring a beer and not be able to find me? I wasted 5 precious vacation minutes on her behalf and finally bailed.

The MGM Rewards booth turned out to be right nearby, so I stopped got my shiny new Gold card. And a second for good measure.

Beer in hand, I sat down at a bar and played $20. And then another. Hmm. A total of six minutes of play and I was down $65.

Son of a bitch but it can go fast.

Near the front of the casino was a quieter area with some slant tops, so I spent a rousing 12 minutes playing $100 worth of video poker. Brutal, just brutal, and just like that, all my blackjack profits gone, and more.

After skating around a winning day all day long, I was $200 in the whole, and tippytoeing over the edge of dropping $400 if things continued.

Walking through T.I. I blew another $40 on stupid old-skook Buffalo.

The walk back to Wynn was long and hot and angry and fucking hot.

I parked myself at one of the slant tops up front, the ones I got the straight flush on, and got busy. I needed to hit 5 out of 5 to stay alive.

I played six cards - six interlocking 5-spots and a 6-spot covering all the numbers. I needed to hit something, and after half an hour I did. Five out of five for two hundred buckazoids and change.

Just like that, I was nearly even on the day. What a relief!

The bizarre, unexplainable video keno run continues.

There are machines with better paytables elsewhere, so I camped out there and cobbled up a new strategy to try.

I'd pick 5 numbers and play every possible 4 spot plus the 5. Each pull is 6 quarters. Hit two numbers and you get your bet back. Hit any three and you win 19 quarters. Hit any four and it's $25.

Hit all five and you're looking at almost $350.

Well it was crazy. I hit four out of four over and over. I had started with $100, and dwindled down to $20. I worked my way up to $150, and cashed out a profit of... 75 cents.

I'd banged on that thing for over two hours, drinking Absolut, and shooting the shit with Gary the Longshoreman and his wife. It was a great time and a fantastic way to cap off what generally was a fantastic day, minus a rabid ferret launching itself at my face.

Odd that the five out of five never came, but there's always tomorrow.

I hit twelve hands just like this one - four out of four wins.

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