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Tuesday, August 20, 2019

The Jalapeno Cure

The one/sixth gravity of Moon Vegas is taking its toll on me. Everything seems six times heavier than it should be, including my nose.

I woke up feeling pretty crap, with various space symptoms, including sneezing and horking out asteroids, so today was a reduced effort day, with more hanging around the room, napping, and less vegasing. I'm not sure if its the smoke or if I'm fighting a cold. It better not be a cold.

Breakfast was a healthy one with various Amazon Prime Now space rations. I spent quite a while writing up, in excruciating detail, the endeavors expended on the mission during yesterday's Moonar exploration period. With pictures.

When I did go down for lunch, I found the casino much as usual here at Luxor - desolate, like the moon. This resort does not know what it wants to be anymore. They've changed so many things, removed theming, tried so many things... they've reduced the machines on the casino floor, leaving swaths of meadow-like empty carpeted spaces. There just isn't a good atmosphere here.

It's particularly sad for me because we enjoyed the resort so much when it was in its heyday. People dressed up on Saturday night - you could see the difference. There was still some glamour.

On the way to the casino, I stopped for a few minutes to take in some heat, just outside the pool area.

And I continued on to the casino to play some of the machines.

They kicked my ass for about $260. It was quite sad.

I needed to eat so I opted for the buffet.

When I did the paperwork at the cash at the entrance, the machine they used prompted me to leave a tip, with various options up to like 24%. This is getting old fast. It was the same as at the liquor library, upon which I said, "Sorry, I don't tip for this."

I pointed out to the cashier guy that it seemed odd to ask for a tip up front when I have to go and get my own food, carry it to my table, and then go and get my own drinks. We agreed that it was stupid, ugly, and brash, and represented everything that is wrong in America and it's millenium-fueled ME WANT FOR NOTHING generation, as observed by General Crankypants Flusher.

He may have agreed with me simply to get rid of me.

I suppose the buffet was a good enough choice for lunch, because I could forage for whatever appealed. And they had chicken soup. But generally, the buffet is crap. There wasn't much good to eat. The best thing was the simple cheese and jalapeno omelet that they guy made once I managed to get his attention.

This photo of the buffet ceiling expresses the love I have for the atmosphere and cache of Luxor
The plate take-away guy never took away anything until I was down to my last bite on my last plate. He did think it appropriate to comment on what I was eating though, which pissed me off way beyond my 'I feel like shit' hair trigger.

"Yes, there's an awful lot of jalapenos in this. Because that's the way I like it. Not that it's any of your business. Now fuck off, and stay fucked off," is what I would have said if he'd been within earshot when I thought of saying this.

Dessert was wayyyy across the buffet on the far side, so I walked over there, grabbed a plate and two mini eclairs, and then simply wandered around all the tables, munching on them. I found a nice circuit to repeat and did laps until dessert was gone. I dumped the plate in one of the bussing stations and left.

Back in the room, I crashed for quite a while, and then put in a radio call to Mission Control in Flusherville, to talk things over with Jimmy Poon.

"Jimmy, the one/sixth gravity here on the moon is kicking my ass. Did you pack anything onboard the Kegel to make me feel like I'm not picking up six times the weight every time I make any move?"

"Flusher...." said Jimmy Poon, giggling. His high pitched twinkly laugh crackled across the quarter of a million miles between home and my ear. "Heee hee heee... Flusher, one sixth gravity means things weigh one sixth what they do at home. You now weigh as much as me, 40 pounds. Heeee heee!"

What a know-it-all.

Excalibur is a stones through away so I took a couple of hundred out of my marker money and walked over to scope out where the Avis booth is (for tomorrow) and check out the casino.

I picked a bank of four machines and started with the first one. By gum, I found some luck!

The second and third machines ate my money up, but on number four, I hit the same numbers again.

I'd done pretty well!

I cashed that in and bought a $55 keno ticket and shlepped back to the suite, to hang around, rest, and watch the numbers come in, and have a few bourbons.

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