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Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Time to Parlez le Chanson de Voiture

Welcome to another installment of the Modern Gambler's Complaints and Frustrations. I'll be your host, Cmdr. Royal Q. Flushiepants, HOV. Moving day, and that means 'what did they overcharge me for'.

In a fit of Boy Scout-like behavior, I prepared for my egress from Luxor well in advance by getting my blog updates out of the way, and packing. I even cleansed the Moonar dust off of my two sides of beef.

Before going down to the casino, I checked my folio on the TV and it was a healthy $0.00. Next, I did a rough add-up of the receipts I'd collected to see how much of my $100 resort credit I had left - about $15. Might as well have breakfast free gratis on The Man.

The Pyramid Cafe is the obvious option, and I did a repeat of the breakfast burrito plus jalapenos.

With only a few thousand points to go before hitting Gold, I went at the gambling with great gusto and confident efficiency. My first victim would be Spinpoker - triple play.

I managed to play for maybe 45 minutes, and got one quad.

I gave Double Double bonus a try but once again, quads are eluding me despite a number of three-of-a-kind draws, including Pointies, and by the time I finished off the session with some pointless and unrewarding video keno, I was down $200. Damn!

And I still had 1,500 tier points to go. Maybe they are tear points, I don't know.

Back in the suite, I took another look at the checkout screen and confirmed all zeros. Excellent.

I had a rental car booked at Avis for pickup at Excalibur, so I completed my final packing and got ready to hoof it over there.

The TV check out process showed... $17 owing. What the MGM fuck? See, this is what always happens to me. Some glitch and I don't get what I was promised, and now I have to spend my time fighting to get my dough back, or be pissed off for the day thinking about the $17 that I could have used for a solid 40 seconds of gambling. And this is why I always check this shit before I check out, having learned the hard way a few times.

From the Luxor towers, it's an easy jaunt across West Reno to the Excalibur, and I made short work of it. It was already 9,000 degrees out, so I was glad to get back inside.

The car - or should I say SUV - was ready to go and conveniently parked 1,000 yards away in the parking structure. Actually, it wasn't that bad. I shlepped my stuff over there, found the vehicle, and did a walkaround and some pre-launch checks.

It's good form to check the mirrors and make adjustments, set the seat up properly, view and understand the various controls and indicators, and generally familiarize yourself with the operation characteristics and performance envelope of your tuff, tuff ride.

I did none of this. Because everything was in French. Except the digital speedometer readout, it showed the numbers in English.

It was time to parlez le chanson de voiture as they say in, well, probably nowhere.

Next up was to drive to Wynn. I self-parked FOR FREE (take note, other Vegas properties except T.I.) and hauled my stuff to the Express Check-in station. A lovely young woman, Lane, helped me step by step through the process. The staff here is always so good.

Even though it wasn't even noon yet, I had a room, and I had keys to that room!

And it's a great room as usual, and for once I have the strip view. A first, actually.

Even better, than all that, the room is free gratis, courtesy the Wynn Slots app. And no resort fee! Totally, totally no charge.

After unpacking, I spent some time on hold with MGM Resorts (11 minutes) until I finally gave up and sent an email regarding the over charge at Luxor. After, I went down to the casino, only to find the machines I'd planned to play gone.

When I did find some other machines to play, none of my slot cards worked. I had to go and get new ones.

I found a slant top that looked interesting and quickly dumped about $60 without hitting a thing. Time to regroup. This gambling day was not working at all. I went back to the room to get the car keys only to find that they were already in my pocket. FLUSHER YOU IDIOT.

The White Acadia (fitting name) allowed herself to be mounted and piloted west, toward my next adventure in dining, pausing for only a moment to grab a photo of the rapidly progessing Resorts World ummm Resort.


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