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Sunday, January 12, 2020

Dink dink dink

The first time you hit a jackpot, it comes out of nowhere, completely unexpectedly. After that, you wait for it on every spin and are mostly disappointed.

Day 4 part 4

So, as always, after free meat at Redwood, we went in search of winning and jackpots, starting with the alcoves at the Cal. There are a couple of machines near the lobby that have NSUD (Not So Ugly Ducks) Deuces Wild on them.

This game is something that the Quad Queen excels at, so I steered her over there. I plunked away a couple of twenties, losing at quarters, and then doubling down to lose at 50 cents. Sort of a Loose Rules of Parlay.

She seemed to be doing okay, and I tapped out.

"I'm going to find a keno machine around here somewhere," I said and moved a couple of alcoves away.

I found a nice little upright with Multicard Keno on it. Not the best paytable by far, but it was there, and I was there, so why not have a tumble?

It took me a while to settle on the strategy to use. I found what I thought was a good one.

I used my six corner numbers and did all six possible groups of five for a couple of nickels each. Then I overloaded the one group of six, playing it on two cards for a total of eight nickels.

This totaled up to a neat 20 nickels a spin, or $1 for those of you that are challenged when it comes to wrangling a herd of bison.

Once I got that set up, I put in twenty bucks started playing it.

Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink.


Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink dink.


The Quad Queen showed up.

"Did you win?"

"Nope, no deuces for me. I think I'll give this machine a try," she said, settling in behind me.

It really only took about 30 or 40 spins.

Dink dink dink DINK dink dink dink dink dink DINK dink DINK dink dink DINK dink dink dink Dink dink.

And just like that I heard the sweetest sound - the Happy Video Poker Orgasm Music, or actually, in this case, the Happy Video Keno Orgasm Music.

Holy crap, I nailed all six numbers and the machine locked up for a hand pay!

"I got it!" I said needlessly. The Quad Queen was already meerkating over her shoulder to see why the music was playing.

"What did you get??!!"

"Nailed it. Six out of six! It's a thousand and eighty bucks!!"

For some reason, many of the machines at the Cal are set to do a handpay if you hit $1000 or more. This has happened with all the Royal Flushes I've gotten there. They give you a ticket for a shirt, but I'm not sure this is exactly the reason.

The Give Me The Money Guy came very quickly and congratulated me.

"Keno is a terrible game, you know," I thought I heard him say. "You should never play it."

But he might have just said Congratulations.

He asked for my ID and such, but then realized that the amount due was under the IRS paperwork threshold of $1,200.

In fact, when I set keno cards up, I calculate out how much it's going to be if I hit everything. It would be a shame to win $1201 and trigger 30% tax withholding.

Now that is savvy video keno tax planning.

I was paid pretty quickly, and what a rush that his, having your palm out as the attendant counts lovely hundred dollar bills into it.

I tipped $20 out of my wallet - maintaining the superstition that I don't tip out of the winnings. Bad luck.

Winning put away, I began to play on whatever was left in the machine.

"Now," I said to the Quad Queen, "I'm going to get it again."

One must always maintain a positive gambling outlook! Of course, it didn't hit again, but that's okay.

I had that electric feeling throughout my body, there's just nothing like it. I call it feeling jazzed, but it's probably a rush, adrenaline, what have you.

We walked over to a beat up fuzzy-screened machine with Ultra Bonus on it that I wanted to play, but the fact is, I couldn't really concentrate on what I was doing, I was so chuffed at my win. I was afraid I'd do something stupid.

(Like that would ever happen - Jimmy Poon.)

Regardless, I managed to hit quad 5s as the cherry on top of my day and the Quad Queen got one last one as well.

What a great day! Got free play, free dinner at Redwood, a hit on live keno, Quad Queen quads out the ying yang, all on single line too, and finally, my first video keno hand pay.

We went and picked up my jackpot shirt and called it a day.

One last look.

Day 4Result
Royal Flusher$1,100
Quad Queen$860
Combined Total$1,960

Trip So FarResult
Royal Flusher$460
Quad Queen$1,130
Combined Total$1,590


    1. I'm stupidly confused as to how you vary it on the other cards. Are they set such as:
      8, 9, 10, 19, 20 ,30 (shown)
      9, 10, 19, 20, 30
      8, 10, 19, 20, 30
      8, 9, 10, 20, 30
      8, 9, 10, 19, 20
      8, 9, 10, 19, 30

      1. Yep, you've got it. One way to think of it is like this.
        Take 6 numbers. You have one group of 6. Easy. So one or two cards get all six numbers chosen on them.

        You also want to bet on all the variations of 5 numbers. The easy way to do this is to just leave out one number from the six on each of the 5 number cards. That's basically what you've done above.

        xxxxxx - group of 6
        _xxxxx - group of 5
        x_xxxx - group of 5
        xx_xxx - group of 5
        xxx_xx - group of 5
        xxxx_x - group of 5
        xxxxx_ - group of 5

        I do this because if I get any five numbers, I get paid a decent amount. If I'd only bet on the 6 out of 6, and got 5 numbers, it would not be very much.

        Get them all and you hit the jackpot. :)

      2. Thank you. I think my foolishness in Keno comes about by playing more numbers. What the heck, I'll give it a shot!

        Now to just decide what 6 (and variations) I want to pursue...................


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