Dr. Happybottle

Luxury suite? Check. Savvy gamblers? Check. Exotic designer bespoke in-room breakfast with grocery store wraps, jack cheese, and potato chips? Triple check!

Day 4

Breakfast was great. I really like taking it a bit slower in the morning. Back in the day, we'd wake up, have a whiz and a brush, and be out the door and gambling in about 8 minutes flat. It could be a couple of hours before we got around to eating breakfast or putting on pants.

With well over 60 trips to Vegas under my belt and rumbling around in my trousers doing God knows what, I'm ready to take it a bit slower. I like my coffee. I like my headlines. I like catching up on Survivor. I like a light breakfast of Po-Tay-To chips. Maybe my coffee gets a boost from Dr. Happybottle. You get it.

We got packed up, and ready to move downtown. Before shipping out, though, I had a spy mission to accomplish in the casino.

My in-depth spy training would allow me to 'blend into the crowd' in the Luxor casino.

First, I needed to establish an alibi as a loser keno player. No trouble there.

Oopsies. I hit five out of five by mistake. My bad!

I'd been contacted by an agent from one of our allies with a special request. Going by the codename MissSpyNameHere, she'd requested the drop-off of an Official Business Card 2.0 with the microfilm trip updates encoded onto the Strict Rules of Parlay printed on the back.

I certainly could complete this mission before we moved downtown by secreting the card somewhere in Luxor. But where?


One time I hid one in the box of "So You Lost The Rent Money You Fucking Degenerate" pamphlets right by the casino cage. I thought that was very stealthy. Unfortunately, on attempting to retrieve the card, the intended recipient dropped it into or behind the wooden pamphlet box. For that reason, it was a fail, regardless of how inspired my choice of drop boxes was.

I knew MissSpyNameHere would be approaching from the south, so I found a dead drop right near the stairs to the walkway to Mandalay Bay. Behind a machine in the corner was a very dusty ledge. Dust, in this case, was good - because it meant that nobody ever cleaned back there.

With a quick look left and right, I made the drop, and took a couple of stealth photos of the location show I could show everyone on the internet my top secret hidey hole.

See the top secret hidey hole? No? Good, that's the point, isn't it.

I'm happy to report that the 'package' was successfully retrieved by MissSpyNameHere. I hope it brings her much luck.

I had a walk around and snapped a couple more photos.

Ersatz beer for an ersatz hedge.

It's said that good things come in threes, and I guess that includes Egyptian JoJo the Dog Faced Boy statues. Except the guy on the left. He hasn't been transformed by eating the blue dog treat on his tray yet.

And as this is the end of this post, it seems like as good a time as any to plant an oldies earworm in your collective noggins.

JoJo dig those spinning lights
Way out games and dizzy heights

Boz Scaggs - JoJo

The video for JoJo enjoys a number of Flushie Rocks accolades including:

• horrible horrible video for a really good song award
• most triplets in a chorus award
• extremely awkward piano player moment at 0:23 award