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Saturday, January 4, 2020

Run for the Shadows With These Folding Ears

It's not every morning you wake up in a pyramid suite with a porno couch.

"You wanna shoot some video?" I asked.

"You wanna clout inna beezer?" the Quad Queen replied.

Day 2

I'd slept solid for five hours and then *blink* - awake, and I'm in Vegas!!!

Oh how I love that feeling.

I wanted coffee and something to eat, and the suite came with a coffee maker and crap coffee, so I gave in to caffeine addiction and made a cup. It was okay, and revved me up enough to get busy with the Bonebook.

Pro Tip: I created the Prime Now order before leaving Flusherville, adding all the items to my cart, but not checking out.

Now, because I had the MOSTSIM chip in my phone, and a new covert spy phone number, I had to update my account with that number before ordering. Otherwise it wouldn't work, recognizing my home number as being in a country other than the U.S.A.

I punched the order through and in a little over an hour and a half, it was ready for pickup.

There's no elevators to most of the higher floors because of the sloped sides - they use incubators instead. They are pretty old and rickety, and it's an odd feeling to have the sensation that you're moving sideways and are perilously close to imminent death in a fiery plunge to the food court below every time you use one. Hopefully Johnny Rockets will be spared.

We'd went down to the main entrance to meet our driver and get our goods. And then like kids at Christmas, we hauled our haul back up to the suite and unpacked.

This all worked shockingly well, and before I knew it I was brewing a cup of "Lavazza Intenso Ground Coffee Blend, Dark Roast, 12-Ounce Bag" (by Lavazza).

Shorty McSparkface provided the hot water very quickly, and with minimal electrical arcing. It would take a few days before I perfected how to use the rickety filters-with-ears, but I fumbled through and behold - coffee.

I will say that I felt a pang of sadness imagining my trusty Little Giant coffee maker sitting at home, all alone, wondering what it'd done to be punished in this way.

Poor fucking Little Giant!

Where do I open the filter-with-ears asks Shorty McSparkface.

The little ears fold out and providink the hangink on the coffee-cuppen.
Brews in no time!

Here are the filters-with-ears coffee brewing tips I learned over the next couple of days.

1. Don't fuck up.

2. Don't open the filter by the top. No, really, the little coffee bag tears down the fold way too easily.

3. Grab the bottom of each ear and pull. This expands the ears AND opens the filter. Yeah, baby, yeah, spread those ears wide.

4. Use the 'right amount' of coffee grounds. About three somewhat heaping plastic teaspoons.

5. Don't fuck up and get ground coffee everywhere.

6. Pour a total of three times. On the last pour, quickly pick up the filter-with-ears by the ears. Tip it slightly to drain the coffee out a bit faster. It likes to come out of the bottom corners of the filter.

7. Don't fuck up and tip the filter-with-ears so that the opposite corner is not under the cup and coffee goes everywhere for the ninth time.

8. Give the filter-with-ears a squeeze over the sink, being careful not to burn yourself with the magma-temperature coffee still inside. It can then go in the garbage without too much difficulty.

It's best not to think of the 28 floors worth of empty space under floor while lying in bed at night.
To eat, I had wrapwiches. It's a wrap! It's a sandwich! It's turkey and pepper jack cheese in a wrapwich! Deep fry that shit and slather it with whipped cream and it would be right at home at the Minnesota State Fair.

We were both really tired from the trip, so we chilled and took our time. I took my second shower in less than 8 hours, somewhat of an ablution accomplishment for me. We spun on the Wynn Slots app, earning gems for our next shitty buffet.

Next thing you know... we crashed and had a nap. That did the trick.

Finally rested, and having had a nourishing room camping breakfast complete with coffee and tea, it was time to go and do some gambling. I had $75 free play available and I intended to use it!

To gamble. I guess.

The Quad Queen started off in the High Limit Lounge on the 'not too horrific' triple play machines.

The bustling excitement of high limit room action at Luxor.

The bustling excitement yada yada yada.
She found some luck, too. Hitting Quads. Of course. Because she's the Quad Queen and that's what she does.

Here are her pics:

I was headed for a rendezvous with my real enemy...

Dr. keNo.

In case you were wondering, here's what we ordered from Amazon Prime Now.


    1. As a Minnesotan, you hit it right on the head with your comment about food items at the State Fair. I think you may have hit on the Next Big Thing for this year!

    2. Ok, I'm disappointed with your choice of soft drink. Everyone knows, Coke is the real thing!


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