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Friday, January 31, 2020

Shockwave Burger and Opining Onion Rings

Every now and again you get a driver that is an absolute gem. Even though Charles took the ballsack reacharound route to pick us up, he quickly charmed us.

Day 10 part 2

These twins are too skinny for downtown.
Charles told us stories about his wife's days on a tour with the Supremes, how she keeps him in line after almost 50 years of marriage, and how he works with young people to inspire them and guide them.

He drove like Driving Miss Daisy and talked like Louis Armstrong.

He didn't even take Death Race I-80 2000. He meandered north on the strip while entertaining us.

We got dropped at the Golden Nugget completely smitten with the guy. I doubled his tip from the usual up to $1.

Meanwhile at the nugget, the mooses were getting randy.

Once they've had a taste of Kringle butt, it's hard to get them back on the animal feed.
Our real destination was the Four Queens, where we'd expend some more of our comp dollars on delicious Magnolia's food.

I left a card at the entrance, but it looked kind of lonely there.

Meanwhile, I pinged the Manitoba Crew to see if anyone was around and if they'd eaten. They had, but Dr. Raoul and his wife Mrs. Dr. Raoul might pop by.

I've rarely had a burger at Magnolia's but decided to give it a try. Meanwhile the Quadus Queenus ordered up a club sandwich and fries, extra dodgy on the bacon please and thank you.

"Put dodgy bacon on mine too, please. And make it onion rings instead of fries. Onion rings are far superior," I opined at the waiter. "

"Did you just opine at me, sir?"

When the burger showed up, it was amazing. Everything looked soooo so good. Piping hot onion rings, jalapeno jack cheese on the patty, and the bacon happening on there...

...and it was just fantastic. So there's another solid choice for you at Magnolia's, if you're not in the mood for CTUG (Country Throw-up Gravy).

The patty looks overdone, but it weren't. Medium well just like I asked for.

Club sandwich heaven.
I was halfway through the burger, about at the point that you give up on picking it up because the juices, condiments, and bacon are running down your forearm in a cascade of wasted flavor (unless you can lick your forearm up to the elbow, like I can) when who should appear but... yeah, you guessed it since I said it would happen six paragraphs ago.

Dr. Shiboubou and his charming Mrs. Dr. Shiboubou, decked out with a very chic convertible clutch in Magellanic penguin leather, with Emperor penguin detailing, a removable strap, a back wall zip pocket and two front slip pockets. In traditional Pengy black and white, of course!

We had a nice gambling catch-up while QQ and I finished up, and then we headed out - stopping to make the first ever double business card drop-off!

It seems like a no-brainer for the Quad Queen to play Shockwave video poker - but for some reason, she rarely does so. I think it should be a fricken' staple when she is 'on'.

On Shockwave, if you get a four of a kind, you go into (you guessed it) Shockwave mode, during which you have 10 games to get a second four of a kind. Get that second quad within ten games and you net yourself a cool $1000 on the quarter game, same as a Royal.

She did it last trip she was in Vegas, why not now?


She did indeed get into shockwave mode. If you want to see what happened, just watch the video above.

Yeah, nothing happened. It's pretty cool to have a chance to hit a quad for 4000 credits, though. Considering that typically quads happen about once every 400 hands, with 10 chances you've got - wait for it - a 1 in 40 shot at the big pantyload of credits.

It's probably a little less than 1 in 40 though, because you'd make some adjustments to go after the quad. Dealt say KKQQx? I'd pick one pair and hold it. You would too.

Dealt a full house? Fuck that full house! Kick it to the video poker curb! Full Housy Non Grata. Keep the trips and fight for the fourth.

Yeah, like that.

You can figure most of this out just by using someone else's brain, like I do.

There were no jackpots at the Four Queens.

I'd been in touch with my Internet Pal - aka Jennifer, who loves traveling solo, is 19 shades of bravery tougher than I am, who is appropriately degenerate, and who was at this moment banging away at a machine in Binions.

Even though we chat fairly regularly to bitch about this and that at one another, we've never met, in spite of having been within a few dozen yards of one another on more than one occasion. I'm okay with that and she is too.

It so happened that she'd never been bestowed with an Official Lucky Flusher Business Card v. 2.0 (or v. 1.0 for that matter). So I made arrangements to do some spy activity and secret one in Binions.

That's 'hide', not secrete one. I don't secrete business cards, as far as I know.

A completely boring photo that... wait, what's that behind the machine???
Anyway, I left the card and then sent a photo from the Cal so she'd know I wasn't staking out the machine, which I totally should have done, but didn't out of mutual blogger degenerate respect.

Then, in the style of the cartels, I sent her my cut off ear, to prove I was alive, and being held near the Holo Holo bar.

Flushy does this Vegas shit with total class, you know.

Next time, we'll discuss the giant pizza, the sandwich of stupidity, and the two keys of black tar heroin.

Stay tuned! Or rather, come back and read and look at the pretty pictures. Like this exclusive content shot of the burger and onion rings from a slightly different angle, but just as delicious.


    1. Full pay Shockwave is actually a pretty good game. I've hit it twice. One at the 5 dollar level which made for a nice 20 large. Strategy is pretty tough, though. Easy to give away a couple of percent.

    2. Hey that's me!

      I played some Shockwave on this trip because being degenerate isn't enough some days. You have to up it by being degenerate and playing carnival games YAY


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