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Monday, January 13, 2020

That One Wonky Wheel

There's a saying I like to say and it says like this. "Video Keno giveth and Video Poker taketh away, that fucker."

Day 5

The weather took a turn for the worse, clouding over with rain coming. Every time I come to the desert, it rains.

We spent some time doing our new morning routine, tea and filters-with-ears coffee. It's kind of weird making coffee in the bathroom. It's not the kind of place I normally find baristas pulling freshly ground Konarabica Hill Valley Pitch Blend Cyber Roast espresso shots.

And in this case, also, there were none, but I think I made my case.

The venerable "20X ODDS" landscape.
I poked around on my little computer, and did an event on the Wynn Slots app. Even as we're in Vegas, we're keeping this going. The potential rewards are just too valuable. Free nights at Wynn? No resort fee? Spin away.

To combat the December weather, which had staggered in flat-footed and shoeless like a sticky-haired club survivor leaving Drai's at dawn, I needed something special. Something Onolicious. Breakfast at the counter!

After eating a simple but delicious brekkie, I went back up to the room to fetch the Quad Queen. I got off the elevator on our floor and saw a clear sign of an I.S.G. who just can't handle Vegas.

Someone had left their luggage in the foyer. Was it a trap laid by Egon Mukx?

Someone had given up their last worldly possessions stuffed in a Barney-colored spinner suitcase.

The luggage suicide note pinned to the worn purple fabric told the tale, succinctly, and with deep, deep emotion.

YES purple suitcase, expunge your burdens and move on to your afterlife, probably in someone's closet, free - FREE of your contents, worries, and cares. You have a new beginning, you are born again, and just as surely as his mother had held Samsonite by one wheel and dipped him into the Karyon river, you are strong, super strong, with the strength of ten suitcases in various colors.

We won't talk about that one wonky wheel that didn't get dipped and will fall off when most needed.

So, as far as the morning gambling goes, there was a 100% house edge. It's kind of hard to describe a cascade of video poker losses in an interesting way.

And, you end up with no photos to illustrate the fact that nothing happened.

The Quad Queen had but one set, and that was it for the morning.

Since I was already down $300 on the day, it seemed like a good time for me to head over to the D and turn in my Keno ticket for a small fortune.

"Send me winning photos!" I said to the Quad Queen as I left.

"You too!" she replied.

As I passed through the Four Queens, I noted that Magnolia's was closed! Good thing I hadn't eaten breakfast there.

They ran Magnolia's in Hugo's in the morning and then Hugo's in Hugo's at night, if that makes any sense. I was a bit worried that they would change things at Magnolia's, but they were probably renovating or deep cleaning or something. Same situation as I saw at Diablo's Gutted Cantina.

Welcome to Hugnolia's!
At the D I was thrilled to confirm that I had indeed hit one 5 out of 5 and my $35 ticket was worth $116.20. That counts as a win, because... it is.

When you're down like I was, you have to flim flam around with every bit of something that you can get. In my case, that amounted to a stop at The One club desk to retrieve $5 in freeplay and $10 in match plays.

The $5 freeplay went for nought.

At a blackjack table I bought in for $10. I lost the first hand. On the second hand, I had to double, so I bought in for an additional $10 and put that beside my bet and match play, and promptly lost that hand too. A complete bust, and I had $20 less than when I started.

I headed back to the Cal, but the Fremont was right there, so I thought I'd drop in and try a twenty - and just one twenty - on Super Times Pay Triple Play Bonus Poker.

And this is where things started to really go squibbley.


    1. Argh! Don't leave us hanging like that!

    2. Squibbley....what a fine word! Heading to Vegas next month and spending some time wandering around downtown, hopefully will spot an unspotted official Flusher card.

    3. Top definition
      The feeling of soda bubbles in your mouth.
      This soda is too squibbley.
      by Jackson Peters and Colin True May 14, 2008

    4. We stay at the Cal and were there in October. We had a morning Beep, Beep, Beep, from the construction trucks backing up. Any suggestions?

      1. Foam earplugs help a lot, also being on the west side of the west tower.


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