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Monday, January 20, 2020

Tantric Video Poker

You wake up in Vegas, shake the glitter off your clothes now, and remember that you are in the possession of a cold half pizza in the refrigerator. What do you do?

Day 7

Goddamn rights, fellow babies, you consume that half a bitch while perusing the internet, tweeting, and generally making electronic mayhem.

Christmas in Las Vegas can seem kind of lonely, and it was two days away. But I had the antidote - family that would arrive today! From Manitoba! Bearing gifts! That's right, Dr. Raoul Shiboubou and family.

We have missed meeting up in Vegas so many times, including on a couple of occasions one of us arriving and the other one leaving on the same day.

But this time was different, the whole clan would be there. We would have Dr. Raoul and Mrs. Dr. Raoul Shiboubou, Gambletron and Mrs. Gambletron, and of course Bombergal, who I owed a lost bet to because the Blue Bombers crushed the Roughriders in the conference finals. They went on to win the Grey Cup, so I can say the Roughies were 2nd best last season.

Like us, they love downtown, so we would be kicking around together and it would be fun. I wasn't quite sure when they would arrive but I knew where to find them - probably the Golden Gate.

In the meantime though, we had some filter-ears coffee tea breakfast and then gambling to do this fine Christmas Eve Day Eve Day morning.

Along with the folding-ears coffee, the cold pizza made a fine breakfast.

I was ready to go gambling before the Quad Queen was, so off I went to make my fortune.

Mezzanine machines.
I got off the elevator at the Mezzanine level, just so I could enjoy the elevator ride down to the casino. I miss when it went the other direction though, the view just isn't as good.

So what to play, what to play? I spy with my little eye, a Treasure Chest machine!

Some of the machines I've mentioned (and will mention more) in the Spy Who Felted Me happen to be in this pic, so I made a visual aid.

On the left, the Treasure Chest machine I'm about to describe playing. Next, the bank of four machines, two on each side. The two machines on the backside, that you can't see from this angle, are the ones with the Double Super Times Pay single line (and about 300 other games on them as well).

And back to back with those are Green Boy (so called because of it's rare green belly glass), and Fuzzy Boy. Green Boy is one that I had a video keno hit on while the Quad Queen was playing the Double STP. Fuzzy Boy is the one with the weird games including Ultra Bonus and Bonus Poker Plus that pays 500 coins for any quad. I mentioned hitting a quad on that one a few posts back.

There's actually more than one Green Boy in the Cal - even in the bigger photo above.

So now you can visualize some of the machines where all the exciting dink dink dink takes place. You could even go there and play these machines yourself and retrieve some of my money, hopefully.

The CW was around right away, so I ordered me a casino coffee. Styrofoam cup. Plastic lid. Meh. It's still coffee playing video poker in the morning though, so much better than shlepping my way into the grommet factory.

I had a really nice run on my first twenty - before long, getting four Kings.

As you can see, I got the minimum chest - 140 credits. Some time ago I decided I would always choose the middle chest. Less stress that way and eventually... eventually... I'll hit the 5000 coins. Some day. Some way.

Guess what? The old fuck you hand showed up.

Piss off, now. I'm never giving you a Royal. Bwaa ha ha.

I had one hell of a run on that twenty. After an our, the Quad Queen joined me. After two hours, I was finally out. I put on 1104 points in the session.

Is Bonus Cash available? Is it? Are you sure? I don't know, I think maybe... No? Not available?
It takes two bucks a point for the bConned points shown on the little screen dealy. Let's do some math!!!!

Let's see, that's 1104 points... times $2 a point... that's $2208 coin in... divided by a buck twenty five, that's... one fuck truckload of hands on a twenty dollar buy-in.

Okay, no need to be rude about it, the number of hands in one fuck truckload happens to be 1,766. It's actually 1,766.4 - not sure where along the way I played 0.4 of a hand.

I'm actually kind of shocked now that I've done the math - I only got one quad in 1,766 hands and still managed to play all that time on one twenty dollar bill. I consider this to be somewhat of a triumph albeit missing win at the end. It was just like one of Sting's tantric sex sessions, but without any sex or sweat, and without Sting, or his wife, probably Bianca Sting or some such.

Play 'em while you can, people, they are slowly disappearing.
We did the kiosk promo game again and won a bunch more free food. And then we headed to Fremont to do the kiosk promo game there.

And eat lunch if they gave us free food.

The only question was - do you want some of the green, or some of the red?

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