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Saturday, June 30, 2012

End of a trip, end of an era, but Vegas Revenge?

It's weird when you play your last session at the casino in Vegas and it ends with a bunch of shitty hands that don't win anything. Especially the last shitty hand.

Hold a pair of 2s... draw... nothing.

It sits there. Credits 0. Card reader still says 'Good Luck'. You know the limo is 10 minutes away, and it's time to start the trek home on the red-eye.

So we did all that, got the bags, got the limo, rode to the airport, pretty happy with the trip actually. It is going to be nigh impossible to top the Royals count we got on this one.

We were on one of the last flights out of the 50-year-old, moldy but lovable Terminal 2. I am going to miss this place because it is so easy to get in and out of. Security has never been more than 5 minutes.

But with a brand new International terminal opening the very next day, we are on one of the last flights ever to leave from this terminal.

So we did our various duties, checked in, paid Air Canada their goddamned luggage ransom, went through security.

Saw an extremely attractive young woman wearing snug lycra clothing from top to bottom, and built like a Gent model, asking a TON of questions about the 'show me your balls' scanners. I think maybe she was thinking if you could see her fiddly bits through her outfit, it would be dead obvious the only things she had on her were a couple of piercings.

Anyway, she opted for the pat-down, which was done just beside where I found myself putting on my stinky Vegas 108F casino shoes.

I have to admit, I felt sorry for her. She was getting fondled and rubbed up down and sideways. Ass, legs, inner thighs, sides of her boobs. I either wanted to yell at the TSA or become one.

All day long I knew I was about $800 down on the trip, and it would take some finagling to get even again. I actually went up about $300 but lost it back... the whole time I was thinking it would take a premium hand, such as the four Aces with kicker that has eluded me the last 2-3 trips, or another Royal, which was crazy thinking. Or maybe, a longshot very lucky run.

None of those things happened, although I was dealt 'almost' hands a bunch of times on dollars including 4 to a Royal. That would have knocked this trip out of the park, had I gotten it.

Some of the slots were already ripped out of lonely Terminal 2, and the shelves of the rip-off gift shops were half-empty, with stuff marked down.

But my 'lucky' video poker machine, the one I hit a quad on last trip, was still there.

And of course, we decided to sit down and play.

I slipped a twenty into the machine, wondering how much I would go down on the trip.

"I really need a Royal here, or Aces with kicker or something..." I muttered.

Pressed 'Bet Max' and the first hand came up...

Four to a Royal.

Of course, this would be the story-book ending to this trip. Alas... somehow I fumbled. No desperately needed Jack of Spades for me.

We were playing Triple Bonus Poker Plus, which has a sort of hybrid value for the quads. The Aces are $300 straight up, no kicker involved. 2s,3s,4s are $150, no kickers involved.

I was talking non-stop all day about how much I wanted those goddamned Aces.

Well guess what? Held two of 'em (like I have done 150 times this trip) and...

Oh-fuck-yeah-redemption at the airport.
Finally, finally hit the Aces, no kicker this time for this game, and I'm instantly up $300 on the day.

I played a bit longer, hoping for a bit more lightning to strike but cashed out at $320, preserving the win for the day and shaving my trip losses significantly.

Mrs. Flusher nailed a quad of her own and I guess this will be the last picture from this Royal-filled trip.

The breakdown

Well, we kicked some Vegas ass.

We both flew free to Vegas and back, on points. (I paid $900 last trip, which was way too fucking much, but I'm a degenerate, see? Ouch.)

Mrs. Flusher was there about 16 days. I was there 9 days and a night.

I am up $300 on the day (in which I played about 8 hours) and am down $500 on the trip.
Mrs. Flusher is down $400 on the day, and is up $2230 on the trip.

Combined, we are up $1730 on the trip.

We played so much, my protuberances are raw. Played a lot of video poker too... ;)

Our coin-in this trip was insane for us. Combined we did $75K at the Four Queens. Mrs. Flusher did an astouding $80K at MSS/Cal/Fremont, and I did about $30K there.

That's almost $200K coin-in. We must be playing more 50 cent and dollars than I thought because that's 160,000 hands of quarter video poker.

Interestingly, Royals are about every 40,000 hands so we could have expected 4 of them if the universe behaved. We probably didn't play that many hands (a lot of higher denom play) so we probably could have reasonably hoped for 3 Royals Flush.

We got 6 Royals Flush between us.

I am not sure we will ever equal that again. (But I'm willing to try.)

Looking at comps, I didn't keep track of them all. I am slightly (slightly) less anal than usual these days. Pretty much, the only meals we paid for were Du-Pars, 2 hotdogs at MGM, and half of the Colonel-can-go-take-a-money-shot-in-the-ear-this-is-the-best-fried-chicken-in-the-galaxy fried chicken.

So let's just say this. $50 a night for the rooms (all comped). And $60 a day for food for the two of us, plus a couple of nicer meals (Hugo's, Redwoody Grille) so tack on another $150.

Mrs. Flusher was in Vegas for a week by herself so call it $30 a day for her meals.

Airfare $1500
Rooms $850 (we had a room for the night we flew out even though we checked out at 9:00pm)
Food $210 + $360 + $150 = $720
We got a bunch of cashback, but just pissed that away gambling. Not sure if I should count it or not.

Bottom line is, we had enough winnings to account for my losses, and all of our hard costs, including tips, admin, limos, and purchases, so this trip was totally, 100% free.

And I value the dollar cost of the trip with comps at: $3070

You can see where I'm going with this...

Not only that, but our offers are going to probably increase with our heavy low-roller play. (I actually asked Jay about this at the slot club booth in the Four Queens - where do we sort of fit with their typical cross-section of players... were we in the top 20%? that sort of thing... he said it is not that often that players have the kind of coin-in we had on this trip.)

So I am thinking we are going to get some sweet offers from the Four Queens with increased freeplay, which is just like cash, and that VIP gluttony book, which I love flashing at anyone who is remotely near me. I am hoping they will offer limo service (which would have about a $120 cash value), and maybe a suite (which I don't care about that much, it's still the Four Queens, right).

Meanwhile at MSS/Cal/Fremont, we'll continue to get invited to tournaments, which I love, and which have a long-term EV of $50 to $100 depending on the prize structure and the number of players. (The only caveat here is that EV = 'expected value', not real value, and to get any real value, you have to actually fucking win something. But sooner or later, if we enter enough of these, we'll win one.)

Gambling win by the numbers, as mentioned, was a combined win of $1730.

Let's look at my last 3 trips... November I pissed away $3000. As far as I am concerned, I have successfully (through the actions of my agent and partner Mrs. Flusher, the Quad Queenus Emeritus) exacted and avenged my Vegas Revenge part 2 on the casino bastards of Fremont Street.

Very Zipperless, and very much the Royal Flusher Way.

And in the last 2 trips, my combined loss is $250 per trip with everything comped. That's a loss of $12.50 a day for:

a) having the most incredible time you can have pushing buttons, looking at cards, throwing dice, and peeing in men's rooms that always have at least 2 homeless guys taking a chili-dump in

b) having free drinks all day long that only cost a dollar a drink, and then you inevitably forget it somewhere and have to get a new one

c) getting to write down all the shenanigans and goings-on and sharing it with the world (or at least the ~500 people who religiously read these trip reports.)

I like sharing, and I like the ego-boost that my stats meter gives me when I can see that a lot of people are following along.

I hope you won't wait until the next trip to check in on me - I like to post stupid stuff about life outside of Vegas, and maybe you will be able to at least laugh at me, if not with me.

Hey, if Kenny Blankenship loses another part of his extremities in some bizarre fashion, or Jimmy Poon finally gets his driver's license, wouldn't you want to know about that?

So c'mon back, okay?

I'll probably tweet my twatter and face my book too, so you can always socially network my ass that way. Links are to the right...

(Math Guy, if I fucked up the math YET AGAIN, please let me know!)

Yours very sincerely,

Bonnet de Douche

Flusherville, ON


    1. I'll be back. Enjoy your outlook on things.

    2. You are one demented mother fucker....which is what I like about you. Keep up the good work.

      1. 'demented mother fucker' is going on my next set of 10,000 business cards.

    3. sounds like we could tell you that you've lost over 100 grand last year...and u still be thinking about the next trip here...but as long as Ms Flusher still luvs you..and the mobile home is payed can't take it with you(well u could)but what the fuck(little turds anyway)....LOL

      1. I *hope* I didn't lose 100K... I thought it was $12.50 a day, much easier to take.

    4. With such a great trip and essentially a no cost trip which you won more than you took, you can go back again in a month for another 3 weeks! Why wait?? Norbert won't miss you.

      Thanks for the great report and looking forward to the next one!

      1. I really enjoy your reports from my fav city, I am a video poker freak too, love it. With you and your wifes play you could get good comps on the strip if you wanted. Great job with you results for that many days, I am going for 6 nights in aug and am really worried its too long, usual is 3/4 nights. Thanks for taking the time to let us enjoy with you.

    5. Math Guy says:
      Well done-- you (with help from Mrs RF) got it right-- the final accounting as well as the overall trip results.

      So, do you have a date penciled in for your next trip?

    6. Love your trip reports....we are D-itz customers but know of what you write about the places you stay & play

    7. sorry the trip had to come to an end....felt i was there with you....always wishing you both all the luck...when are you coming

    8. Thank you so much for sharing your stories! We love them!

    9. Hey RF, just came across this website. Great stuff and very entertaining stories!! I am new to the whole VP thing but I am religiously training online on 9/6 JoB. I will be in Vegas in August (staying at the Encore). Can you give me any tips where I might find 9/6 JoB machines @ 1 quarter per coin? The Encore ones are slightly more expensive I understand... Thanks and keep up the good work!

    10. The Strip is a video poker wasteland at the quarter level. You'll not find any 9/6 Jacks in quarters at Encore or anywhere else on the strip. That's why I stay and play downtown - better pickins for a low-rolling grommet maker like me. Since none of the quarter machines at Encore will be full pay, I would probably not play that much and take a flyer on Double Double Bonus. If you hit some quads, you'll be okay. If you don't... move downtown.

    11. Thanks, RF. I'll just stay at the Encore for the "view" and then do some gambling downtown.

    12. I love reading your ramblings!! <3


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