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Friday, June 15, 2012

Vegas Day Eve Day

Tonight is Vegas Day Eve.

And Today is Vegas Day Eve Day. You'd think I'd be happy. Relaxed. I'm on vacation.

But there is much going on, and yet there is a particular set of things that need to happen in order for me to start my vacation in Vegas. The problem is, I don't like doing any of them.

And I found myself vacuuming the house. Why? WHY? It is hardly a requirement for me to get to Vegas! I have to get packing, organize all my shit.

I hate packing.

I hate organizing.

I have a fantasy of the Zipperless Trip (with apologies to Erica Jong).

It's a trip where there would be no luggage zippers, where clothing would just fall away like rose petals into my suitcase, folding itself in rapture as it goes. Where there is no need for thick sensation-dulling ziploc bags which contain and compress my Free Mark's Stay-Dri Underwear and get between me and the fire that burns in my Sir loins.

You know I'm right about this.

Oh yes you do.

Picture your luggage floating along behind you, while you, in perfect harmony, know just when and where to go (in the airport), you find the right gates to pass through, instinct tells you which buttons to press (in the elevator), no words are spoken (because you are surrounded by a Mongolian dance troupe) and somehow you and your luggage just know and you are one... you and your stuff... your luggage and you.

It's all effortless and beautiful as you move together in deep sexual dance of terrazzo and spinning urethane wheels. And you lift off, in a roaring embrace, you lift through the ding at 10,000 feet, on, on, higher, higher...

And then, when the moment is perfect, and AC593 touches down with a giddy squeal, everything comes together and you arrive as one. And magically, you are there in your hotel room, together. You light a smoke and suck satisfaction deep into your lungs. You say nothing. The moment is perfect. All your stuff is there. You're there.

And, like you've done with every lover you've ever had, you toss your suitcase into a corner like a sack of potatoes and hit the casino!!!

Naturally, there is no such thing as the Zipperless Trip.

That's why its called a fantasy.

But at least I have no Fear of Flying.

But one should keep striving for one's ideals, shouldn't one? That's why I need someone to come and pack me for these trips. Surely there are professionals who can pack you, and also make a decent Eggs Benedict???

So that's where I am. Mrs. Flusher is banging away on the machines, and moving hotels today.

She finished ahead a hundy or two yesterday, and is kind of having a so-so day today, down a few hundred last time I heard.

There are some delicious quad pictures though....

Tomorrow, I'm off to Vegas for real.

UPDATE: More Double Double Bonus Quads...

Nice $100 quad...
And another nice $100 quad. Hmmm, she's got 11xx credits on there. :)


    1. There are interesting allusions here - or are they illusions??

      And what about Velcro? Could there be a Velcroless Trip somewhere in your future?

    2. I think velcro may apply to the previous post.

    3. Perhaps you should rate the different LV hotels by their would make Erica Jong proud. :)
      Stu Merrian


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