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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

High Limit, Buy Limit

Dec 31, 2013 Spirit of Savvy - Day 3 - Monday - Continued

I licked one of my lips (the upper one). Then I licked the lower lip. Then I scuffed my toe into the dirt and applied some pine tar to my professional video poker player gloves.

Before drawing for the kicker.
I waited until the prevailing breeze swung around to the direction I wanted and visualized my credit counter going through the uprights.

"Okay, here goes..." I said, and pressed the Draw button.

Yay me! Got it!!!
And yes, I got the much needed 2, and my win went to $400. All of a sudden I was alive again.

What a relief it was!

We went and ate breakfast at Magnolia's and it was delish. We had the waitress that calls me 'baby' so I call her 'baby' back.

"Some more coffee, baby?"

"Yes please, baby!"

"Here you go baby."

Like that.

Anyhoo, instead of being tapped out, I had $400 to play. And I'd play very carefully, having learned my lesson.

We played more dollar Jacks and I took a flyer on a Very Horrible Triple Bonus Fucker Plus game. (Please don't ream on me for playing this horrid paytable! I already have the punishment I deserve!)

Had some luck with it getting a quad, but blew it all back on dollar Jacks. You'll note the only two quads I had at this point were dealt quads.

Because Mercy.

By the time we went to the Golden Nugget, I had no money left.

Did your jaw just drop like Miley Cyrus's pants?

Yes, that's right. I'd gone to the Mikes bar and played $100 in Double Double quarters, and $200 in 50 cent. And somewhere along the way I'd been waylaid and forced - FORCED! - against my will, to dump $100 in a Double Diamond slot. Boy was that a laff riot.

Anyway, $300 gone again into VP with nary a quad. It was as if the taps had been turned off.

Now, I kept reminding myself, if we are playing at higher denoms, the swings are going to be much larger than we are used to. Easy to say, hard to accept on the negative kick-in-the-nuts swings.

So anyway, did I mention the Nugget? Where we thought it would be a good idea to 'test' out our line there and take a $500 marker? And how at the last second the Quad Queen blurted out '$1000'?

Okay, so we played responsibly, good old fashion dollar play, starting with Super Times Pay, where I accidentally hit 'Bet Max' and played 10 lines at $6 a pop.

$60 hand of Video Poker.
Fuck me gently with a blow-up Bozo punching bag.

Needless to say, the reaming continued. We simply couldn't hit anything. For a real pant-load of laffs, we played $100 each in $5 9/6 Jacks at $25 a hand.

This is as close as we may ever get to a $20,000 Royal.

One card off $20K
It was still as if the VP world was tilted off its axis, and the machines just wouldn't play right. Hand after hand of nothing. I had like two fulls house the whole time at the Nugget.

This was now the single worst day of our entire Vegas career. Because most of our stakes from the day, and the thou from the Nugget, were gone.

And it wasn't over.

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