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Thursday, January 2, 2014

Four Queens Financial Spin

Jan 2, 2014 Spirit of Savvy - Day 5 - Wednesday

Our last day at the Four Queens before moving down to the strip. The dawn looked strangely misty, reminding me of the miasma that gently drifts from the men's room.

We had a pretty good session on Jacks, and then gave Bonus Poker a go. No quads for me, but you-know-who was graced with yet another dealt quad. (Has anybody totaled up how many we've gotten dealt to us this trip? And does anyone know the typical percentage of quads that are dealt?)

At the bar, the Quad Queen got to play the 'draw for the kicker' game on yes YET ANOTHER dealt quad...

Dealt quad deuces on double double!... and....
BZZZT. Fail. Still, a nice $200 hit.
We played some more and I pretty much bled cash the whole time. Finished the session down $260 for the morning and no quads for me. The Quad Queen kept at it though.

I grabbed a long shower and pondered why we were having such terrible luck. I shaved and all that, and thought 'change your shirt, change your luck'. In addition, today was a coveted 'fresh underwear from the carry on' day. So I had that going for me.

We went and ate breakfast. I don't understand why country throw-up gravy doesn't photograph well. I keep getting closer and closer to it to get an appealing picture and, well, even by my standards, it never comes out looking very appetizing.

Country throw-up gravy.
Available in an 8x10 glossy suitable for framing or wrapping fish, with apologies to William Gaines. (Is that a nipple???)
Mrs. Flusher's nose is now running like a tap and I'm still coughing up like the juicy bird. They say you are what you eat. If it's any consolation I didn't eat all the nipples out of the gravy.

We did some more play and here are some VP P*#& Pictures.

YES I finally made a 4-to-a-straight-flush draw!!!! A beauty too, for $250.

DEALT QUAD anyone???? QQs.

One of our goals for this trip (along with me getting a dollar Royal for the first time in 17 years) was to play heavily at the Four Queens so that we could enjoy better offers in the future.

I went down and met with our host (yes, we have one, it turns out). Our offers should indeed improve in the spring and if we come back before they do, he can talk to the people 'upstairs' and negotiate perks on our behalf. He told me we should be looking at:
  • a suite
  • RFB gold passport good for food all day long and one Hugo's meal per trip
  • $200 free play each
Hopefully we will be much more comfortable in a suite next time, and in future, we can probably get up to $300 free play each.

So there are some results we will enjoy in the future from the ass-kicking we are taking now.

Higher-end New Year's guests also got some pretty sweet looking 8" Dell tablets as a gift this year. No, we did not get these this time.

I got more cashback for the last day's play and between us, the total cash back was $150 + $175 = $325.

When I went to get the cashback, I was kidding around with the boothling. I was pretty pleasant, because, as you know, I take all of these sorts of interactions seriously, like the time I got kicked out of the Maile Room at the Cal.

Apparently if I gambled just 9 more points I could get an astonishingly accurate reproduction of a sphincter-ugly horsey.

I declined to risk more money at their establishment.

As I left, I realized I hadn't gotten my driver's licence and player's card back. The boothling insisted she'd returned them but I knew better. Because I emptied all my pockets and rifled my wallet three times.

She kept saying, "Well, they aren't here, I don't see them."

I started to get a bit testy. I kind of need my driver's license.

"Look, I've been through every pocket and it's not in my wallet. Therefore it's still in the booth somewhere."

The next guy in line helpfully searched the floor and said, "There's a condom on the floor, is that yours?"

Much needed levity for everyone else but me.

Thank God for my old pal Jay and my new pal Jennifer. They turned the booth upside down. Jay even lifted up the computer so I could look under it.

Jennifer found my driver's license and player's card in the garbage can.

The lesson to learn here is have a routine when you hand over your ID and pay attention to when it comes back and if it doesn't. I always keep mine in the same place so I was pretty sure I didn't have it. And I was right.

The boothling for some reason came out of the booth so I made her hug me. I'm not sure we are still friends though.

See, being an ass for your reading entertainment has its risks. This could have ended very badly for me indeed.

Royal Flusher Financial Spin!

Let's look at some Four Queen's stats, shall we?

We are down about $3700 on the trip. We did $100,000 in coin in. Take out the $1000 at the Nugget which was a total anomaly. Very atypical play for us, going totally on tilt with just an hour's play on that dough. We just went on some kind of stupid tilt.

So that's $2700 dumped at the Four Queens.

Our return on $100K action was 97.3%. The theoretical return of Jacks or Better is 99.54%.

Let's look at comps, free play, and cash back.
  • $192 food comps (could have been more if we didn't gorge on stupid Subway)
  • $300 room for 4 nights (New Years)
  • $40 Fremont bracelets (we got $80 worth but only I used it)
  • $325 cashback
  • $120 freeplay
That totals $977 in hard comps that we would have paid for plus cash. Including this, our return goes from 97.3% to about 98.2%.

The Royal Flush represents 1.98% of the average return of Jacks or Better.

It's clear that we need a dollar Royal. (No shit, Flusher.)

With one little $4000 dollar Royal, we'd be a little above the 99.54% return of the game, if you include comps, free play and cash back.

Our profit would be....

... one sphincter-ugly horsey.

Maybe we can find a Royal on the strip... on to Wynn!


    1. That fugly horse coulda been your next lucky charm!!

    2. I'd of taken the damn horesey! Well, you've got me sold on 4 Queens action over MSS action now with the cashback. But it seems like at Boyd, I can use my points as cashback at Gold Coast (but not at MSS). It doesn't matter where I accumulate them. I don't even know if I'm right about that.

      But I have good luck at MSS. The Fork Queens is more my change up place but that cashback has me thinking!

      Go get that royal!


    3. Ya thats that beautiful Las Vegas mist we call smog.

    4. Flusher.. I have a tingling feeling...get that horse!

    5. The next guy in line helpfully searched the floor and said, "There's a condom on the floor, is that yours?"

      'Nope. That one is still in its package."

      wpete aka Lucas McCain


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