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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Mambo Hamburgler of the Garden Court Buffet

Jan 7, 2014 Spirit of Savvy - Day 9 - Sunday

The world is full of wonderful and interesting people. And I've met a lot of them here in Las Vegas, and in particular, downtown, with its branch office of the Looney Bin. But I'll get to that in a moment.

I know these reports are getting kind of repetitive, but that's about all I have energy for. I write it like I limp through it. So apologies for that.

I woke up to another beautiful day (in other words, without freezing rain, Arctic Vortexes, wimp chill factors and all the other stuff that is gracing the North East US and Canada right now, including Flusherville) and got ready for the gambling activities by taking my lungs out of my body and rinsing them carefully in the sink.

This got rid of a lot of the sick crud and casino smoke that was clogging things up and I felt a lot better for it.

Our morning session was interesting from the standpoint of what didn't happen that should have.

In fact, this entire trip is an exercise in outlier events that are unlikely in terms of statistical expectations and standard deviations from the mean of normal results in a pseudo-random series of events.

In other words, we are fucking unlucky.

We played an hour and three quarters, mostly on quarters, with only one quad between us, and with $3000 coin in.  That's about 2,400 hands of video poker. Quads appear on average about every 400 hands. So, you can see that we are fucking unlucky.

On the other hand, if they paid for having streaks without quads, we would have had the golden session of a lifetime.

The Maltese Quad of the morning.
Keno! Refuge of the degenerate loser. I played this while blogging. I won $0.80.

Healthy gambler's breakfast because there's a banana there (that I didn't eat).
One nice touch here at the Cal... the housekeeper dropped off a couple of hats and a Mahalo (Thank You For Giving Us Your Cash In Exchange For Chinese-made Hats) card to thank us.

Maybe these are lucky hats??!!
I called our host at the Downtown Grand and explained that we'd have to take her up on her comp offer another time. We're just too beat to worry about changing hotels again. Being sick in Vegas is not recommended.

Main Street Station kept us busy with triple and five-play and we made hay on it, in terms of coin in and points and such.

Savvy flush draw - five for five.
We took a nap and I ate the left-over pizza from the night before. Our fridge has been set too cold and has been freezing the drinks and stuff in it. I kind of had to suck the pizza to thaw it. You haven't lived until you've sucked pizza at The Cal.

We had another bash at parlaying on single lines and I had my shining moment of the day (if you don't include pizza sucking).

I parlayed up to fifty cents and got Aces for $400 on Double Double. Shame the kicker wasn't there but yeah, I'll take it.

Back at Main Street, we did more multi-play, and I got a same-day buffet comp based on our play there. We hit lots of quads and got lots of scratch cards (including a $5 one) and didn't make much money - but boy did we rack up the coin in.

Quad Queen Dealt Quad on Triple Play.
It was at the buffet that the interesting person alert went off.

I spied this guy wearing a suit of clothes very fit for a 200 pound gentleman. The only problem was that the guy was about 98 pounds.

He was directed to a table but in a flurry of gesturing hands and garbled Spanish, he chose another table,sat down, and refused to move.

It looked a bit uncomfortable for the host, but this guy wasn't going to budge.

He took himself, and his gigantic shiny green sportcoat, to the fruit display and loaded up a plate mile-high with melon.

Vegetarian, I thought.

This was fine and he started nibbling, and then took off for the buffet again.
The Tower of Melon.
The guy loaded up another plate and put it down beside the melon and got very animated at picking at it.

Then he went up to the buffet again and got a plate heaping full of salad.

Round two for the bizarro world buffet version of Perez Prado.
So then he went back up to the buffet again and was just scooping out the lasagne and portuguese sausage and onions like he was slopping the hogs - and another heaping plate came back to the table.

The guy sat down at a different seat at the table and nibbled on a few things and then he did something I've never seen before

Fast as lightning, he jumped up and grabbed a fourth heaping plateful - except this time it was from someone else's table.

I happened to be chatting with some of the staff at the time and let them know that, uh-oh, the Mambo Hamburgler was at work in the MSS buffet.

It was at this point that I realized the guy had to be starkers. I kind of felt sorry for him, but I felt worse for the person who had spent probably 2-3 minutes carefully loading a plateful of gluttony feast, only to have it spirited away by Perez Prado in a gigantic inflatable suit.

Gambling wise this was a more normal day, and a more enjoyable day. Losses were a very reasonable $260 (me) and $180 (qq).

Our coin in was around $25K at Cal/MSS, right where we had a goal to be.

Overall trip losses, I don't go there anymore. It blows and we all know it. Better to focus on the Mambo Hamburgler of the Garden Court Buffet incident!

Hello, you've reached the Perez Prado School of Dance... you walk in, you Mambo out - UNHHH!


    1. You haven't lived until you've sucked pizza at The Cal.
      -- Nailed it!

    2. It's sad to see you getting getting banged like hell on this trip.
      Good to see you still have sense of humor.

    3. Downtown Las Vegas....never ceases to entertain. Thanks for sharing, Flusher.

    4. Good blog! I have read everyone and enjoyed them! Sorry about your luck.

    5. Great blog! Always enjoy them.

    6. Try this. Find a 50c 9/6 DDB machine and put in $200. $225+ go to $1. At 450+ go to $2. Cash out at $600 or higher. If you get a quad and get to for example $665 play it down to 600. Won't overcome the negativew EV but you may get lucky with a big hit. System relies on stringing quads.

    7. 9/6 DDB - At 25c start at 100. At $112.50+ go to 50c. 225+ a dollar and 450+ $2. Cash out at 600+ if you go up in denom and go back below the threshold, return to the lower denom.


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