Ole Red Eyes Is Back

As departure day nears I find myself stressed beyond belief. This exercise basically picking up and moving, not just packing for a trip. There's a house to shut down here in Flusherville, and a long, long trip to Florida in a cramped '84 Tercel, with Chippy strapped to the roof. I hope those welder's goggles work ok on her. And when we get to Florida, an empty house to rattle around in, and eat cold gas station Beef-A-Roni out of a pop-top tin with a plastic spoon, while sitting on the living room floor, sprawled across the orange 1975 shag carpeting.

As I said to the Quad Queen it's basically trailer camping. She said 'it's manufactured home camping'.

To help while away the many hours of lonely interstate automobile navigation, I fortunately have a stash of Gene Tracy "Truck Stop" 8-tracks in the glove compartment. I borrowed them from my cousin Randy and and never returned them.

My very favorites are Gene Tracy Truck Stop #4 (A Night Out With Gene Tracy - rated X), Gene Tracy Truck Stop #2 (69 Miles to Gene Tracy's), and Gene Tracy Truck Stop #11 (Gene Tracy Cleans Up His Act - rated X).

I also greatly enjoy Gene Tracy Truck Stop #28, Gene Tracy Truck Stop #50, Gene Tracy Truck Stop #27, and Gene Tracy Truck Stop #33.

Oh, I almost forgot, my almost favorite, Gene Tracy Truck Stop #23 (Ole Red Eyes Is Back - Gene Tracy Sings).

Fortunately for me, one of the Quad Queen's super powers is packing. There is nothing she likes better than the task of organizing 1001 unrelated, randomly shaped items into a 3D time-space singularity that fits perfectly into the available space.

I'm not kidding about this, it's really something to behold.

The price I pay for this is the loud announcements that "tomorrow I'm doing the first test pack", "I'm ready for test pack #2", and "stay the fuck away from the car on Saturday, I'm doing the final pre-test test pack". This all started on Sept. 15, two months before our planned departure.

As a good little Flushiepants, I get out of the way and watch football or something while all this is going on.

I'm not allowed to even help!

Apparently, it all started when she was 7 years old, watching her father struggle to fill up the Studebaker with cottage-bound gear. She watched, she learned, and then she flexed. She was better at it than he was.

The other price I pay for this is that I have to take what I can get, in terms of cargo space availability.

Here's my stuff.

And here's the Quad Queen's stuff.

We had quite a discussion about what I was allowed to bring.

The Cheesy China Cheapo-caster from Monoprice - and it plays GREAT. $99.

For example, what's more useful in Florida, a baby blue sunburst Cheapo-caster from Monoprice, with a really nice satin finish maple neck, that I worked for hours to set up, perfect the intonation and action, and file the fret ends smooth as baby's bottom - or a rowing machine with only one gas cylinder that works.

(The Monoprice guitars are a stunning value. The Strat knockoff was $99 US delivered, including gig bag, and one Gene Tracy guitar pick. They sometimes need some setup like this one did, but they play really well.)

"How'm I gonna jam with the other deaf seniors on all those Ole Red Eyes numbers without my Cheapo-caster?" I pleaded.

"They won't hear you anyway, over my rowing."

It's Saturday, Sunday, and on Monday we go. I won't relax until we are safely across the border, and all I have to do is drive, and periodically feed Chippy up on the Tercel roof.

And I've still got this going for me.