Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tampa

It's so exciting to check out a new casino! We found the Seminole Hard Rock and parked in one of the parking structures.

Along the corridor, Ruby Tiger Osceola winked at us, and pointed a wise bronzy finger at the lucky machines.

We took an escalator ride down two stories into a non-smoking section of the casino and waded in. We could tell we weren't on the Las Vegas strip - because the escalators were working.

The Hard Rock compares to a strip casino, generally speaking. It's quite large, kind of confusing, loud, and smoky. The usual video slots are there and there's a pretty large pit - with most of the games closed. I would imagine this picks up on the weekends and evenings.

The casino is colorful and nicely appointed, but some of the machines were extremely worn and dirty, just like the Bob Dylan cardigan collection on display. Being a Hard Rock, there is tons of music memorabilia scattered about, which I quite like.

I didn't do much of a survey of the pit games but I did notice 3:2 blackjack on the felt of one I glanced at.

There's a slot club, which could come into play vis-a-vis Vegas, as the Hard Rock people have purchased the Mirage. So there could be some cross promotions available in the future, and maybe comps earned in Florida might apply in Vegas. Time will tell!

There's a new sign-up promo where you can get up to $200 of your first day slot losses back in freeplay, split across two future visits. The slot club booth we encountered was closed, so we didn't sign up, even though I very much wanted to ENJOY THE SENSE OF A NEW BEGINNING, EXCITEMENT AND ENERGY SURROUNDING MY REWARDS AND BENEFITS.

An enticement as convoluted and baffling as it is perplexing and nonsensical!

Wait, the $200 part - that I can get behind.

The Ultra Exclusive Excitement and Energy VIP Room (into which I will never be allowed)

There's not a super ton of video poker, but there are a number of banks, huddled together near the food court. These mostly feature gimmicky games like Super Times Pay, Blind Luck Multiplier Streak, Never Hits 999 Line Great Times Player, and Double Coin In Half Fun Times Pay multi-line, multi-screen, multi-player, multi-mega bonus.

There are also some single line options here and there as well, with strip-like paytables of course.

One of the better options we found was triple play Super Times Pay in quarters with 7/5 Bonus Poker. This is typical for what you find in Vegas, although we have been blessed in the past with the same game in 8/5 at the Fremont, and in nickels (now gone) at Main Street. But 8/5 BP STP is pretty much hard to find in Vegas. Maybe locals places might have it.

We started out with a hundred each in quarter triple play Ultimate X. Some horrible paytable. That lasted all of two and a half minutes. Not a great start.

I shifted to Keno and the Quad Queen saddled up on the Super Times Pay Bonus Poker.

Good old Keno came through!

Just like that, I was back to even.

We'd arrived well past lunchtime, and I wanted to grab a bite. The food court seemed like the best option. I wondered about the prices. Would they be giving their beloved and valued customers a deal to keep them fed quick, cheap, and happy? Or would they gouge, because you're a casino-prisoner, airport-style?

There was a burger and fries place, a pizza/Italian food place with slices started around $6, there was a healthy food place, which naturally was closed, there was a junk Chinese food place, slinging paper plates full of lukewarm junk from a steam table. This seemed like the perfect place for me.

I marched up to the counter and ordered a battalion of General Tso. $12 and change or so.

It was tso tso.

I wolfed it down as quickly as possible so as to return to gambling. Perhaps the best part of the meal was the fortunate cookie, up until the moment I opened it.

Yeah, I can see that.

Would Romance be Awaiting at the Cash Center?

Meanwhile, the Quad Queen was doing okay, being good to her name, and keeping her Queen above water.

Some okay hands, but not a multiplier in sight.

I found a similar machine, ordered some teeny tiny waters, and found myself some Pointies!

The Seminole tribe draws their water from the short end of the swimming pool.

The multipliers really weren't working but I was doing okay. 

There was one moment where I came very close (I suppose) to a $5K hit. The 10 came up the wrong suit. Aggravating. Some day I will hit something like this, but it hasn't happened yet.

We did a little walk-around of the casino and found there were multiple slot club booths, some of which were actually open. But at this point in the visit, I was up a little, and the Quad Queen down $100, so it didn't make sense to register until next visit, when we could go hog wild. I doubted I would lose $200 on the day with just a short while to go till we had to hit the trail, or as they say in the French enclaves of Tampa, Frappé la Rue.

I had enough surplus to do some rounds of dollar video keno, which I did, and lost. Got 4 out of 5 three times though, and I only went down 8 or 10 bucks.

The Quad Queen pounded some short pay dollar Bonus while I retreated to nickels.

I know what you're thinking. Don't say it.

I managed one last keno hit to put me back above even.

The final stats on the day were Quad Queen, down $100, and Royal Flusher finished winners, up $0.40.

The coolest part of cashing out was seeing a tribute emblazoned on each and every Cash Center machine with my name in lights.

It was a pleasant few hours spent, and I'm sure we'll return to the Hard Rock in Tampa. It made me pine for Vegas even more, however, where, presumably, Video Poker Romance Awaits me.