Take the Train, Eh

I'm ritually summoning the sacred elements that together will synergize the perfect triumphant return to Vegas trip, and possibly prevent the third coming of Gozer (also recognized as Volguus Zildrohar and Lord of the Sebouillia).

Getting Business Class return airfare for $75 plus an imperial shit ton of Aeroplan points is a huge win, but I've got to get my arse from Flusherville to the airport.

In the olden days, I could book a flight on points that originated at the Flusherville Regional Aerodrome, and a partner of Air Canada (Jazz, operated by Air Georgian) would fly me to Pearson, included in the price.

But Air FU Canada no longer operates out of Flusherville. So that sweet perk of booking on points, like so many little details post-COVID onset, is long gone.

That leaves a few options. Get Kenny Blankenship to drive me. Take the MegaBus. Or take VIA.

If you've ever driven with Kenny Blankenship, a) congratulations for surviving and b) change your panic and fear soiled undergarments.

I suppose I could take the MegaBus, but I don't have a man bun or a toque out of season, a Mac laptop, three stainless steel water bottles dangling from my vegan leatherette man purse, a Che Guevera tattoo, or facial piercings numbering the same as my stable of Tik Tok accounts.

So, it's up to VIA.

I logged in and started to check for train times and fare levels.

VIA's website, I always find it hard to use. It confuses me. I'm never quite sure if I'm logged in, and when I do anything, it seems to open a fresh new tab of confusion.

I have an account, but it's called Preference. So I logged into that and a new tab opened. Then I clicked something like book on points and a new tab opened.

Before I ever got to see a fare, I had 19 VIA and Preference tabs open.

The fares looked pretty good. Now, I'm very fond of Business Class on the train, and have taken it a number of times, including once when I had VIA Butler Class Service (this link opens in a new window - snort).

They had an 'Escape' fare, which is the lowest of the lowly low, below Economy, below Sub-Economy, below Soul-less Minion to the Dark Lord class.

$45 a throw for a total of $90 plus taxes and so on.

But wait! I redid the whole thing telling it I wanted to use Preference points (and thus opening 19 more tabs) and I could never really tell if it was taking the points into account, but at the end there was a little dotty thing to click on that said it would take 1,100 points for the fare.

And I have over 1,600 points!!!

I used them! It was my Preference! I preferenced free over $90. I so much more preferenced this!!!!

Sorry - it's actually Préférence,

Or is it?

With that done, all I have to do now is convince Mrs. Flusher to drive me to the station, and pick me up when I return.

It's great to be saving some (a lot of) money on the travel for this trip to Vegas. It's been an expensive year, setting up the trailer manufactured home in the Greacey Palms. And being freshly laid off (Quad Queen) and retired (me), we have no salary coming in to replace important things like gambling bankroll.

So a grand total of $75 out of pocket (plus the $24.70 fare from Union Station to Pearson, I guess) so call it an even $100 to get me from Flusherville to Vegas and back, Business Class on the plane.

That's what I call savvy.

You must take the train, eh
To go to Union Station up in Tranna
If you miss the train, eh
You'll find you missed the quickest way to Tranna

Hurry, get on, now it's coming
Listen to those rails a-thrumming
All aboard, get on the train, eh
Soon you will be Union Station in Tranna

With apologies to Billy Strayhorn.