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Monday, April 18, 2022

Goodbye Greacey Palms, Hello Flusherville

I'm preparing for what is now my imminent departure to Las Vegas! My triumphant return after two and a half long pandemic years is less than two weeks away.

And.. I have writer's block. Or maybe blocks. Or maybe bollocks.

I am so out of practice with writing, and I wonder if I still have it. Can I still be funny? I happened to read an old post from five years ago today, and it's long enough since I wrote it that it seems fresh to me. And I found it amusing! Which means that at least 5% of those who read at least a portion of it will also find it amusing.

But regardless, I really need to post an update about all the goings-on and developments!

Jimmy Poon is encouraging me gently, analytically, touching on all the right points. I deserve this. You deserve this. At the end of the day. You've got this. Winning!

This will be these Silver Strikes' fourth or fifth return trip to Las Vegas.

We've had a wonderful winter in Florida, taking incredible delight in every winter weather warning in Flusherville that popped up all season long, while we sat back in the sun.

But, it was time to prepare the trailer manufactured retirement home in the Greacey Palms Senior Putt Putt Trailer Park in Florida for our absence this summer. It didn't take as long as I thought.

We just threw out everything in the fridge except beer, left one wall air conditioner on high, and locked up.

Oh - one more thing - I told the Quad Queen to leave a can of Raid on a windowsill on the south side. I reckon it will explode sometime around August, thus taking care of any critters that may have moved in.

It was bittersweet seeing the sights of the Greacey Palms for the last time as we rolled through the park. The putt putt windmill feature that rocked back and forth, never making a full circle because it was missing one of its four vanes. The concrete cinder blocks in our front yard where the rusted out Karmann Ghia used to be. The rusted out Karmann Ghia in the front yard next door, up on new cinder blocks. And, as I turned the 84 Tercel onto the highway, the flickering Greacey Palms sign that now intermittently read " reac y    alms".

On the way down to Florida, we made it a 3-stopper, taking it easy in case Chippy didn't travel well. We felt confident doing a 2-stopper on the way back. It meant longer days in the car, but overall, it seemed worth it.

We'd had great luck with a particular La Quinta on the way down. It was everything you wanted for a $100 room that was dog friendly. I booked it again for night to on the return tip.

And, I booked a similar property in Columbia, South Carolina for our first night. It was a disaster.

The first room reeked. Just reeked of Lysol and stink. It looked like nothing was maintained. Broken down furniture. Frayed carpet. The fridge didn't work. We saw 4 other rooms trying to get a fridge that worked and none of them did. The microwaves didn't work right. I won't bore you with the litany of horrible discoveries that the hotel held. But I will provide a few photos.

You're thinking "why not just go somewhere else?" Good question. We'd been on the road for 9 hours we'd unpacked the car and the dog, and it was 8:00pm and we just wanted to eat our food and crash.

Plus, we didn't want to miss using the baby toilets. Honestly, what the flush??? These things looked like surplus kindergarten toilets. I've never seen anything so tiny. They were the original Squalid Squatty Pottys.

The rim was 5" below my knee. At least I have good aim.

We made it through the night and I was not even going to go anywhere close to the free breakfast - I made a beeline on foot to the nearby Waffle House, had a great breakfast, and was so grateful I tipped 50% on the tab.


Everything was hot and perfect, including the Country Throw-up Gravy on the scattered hash browns.

The La Quinta in Chambersburg, PA was just as we remembered it. And it didn't stink. And the fridge worked.

We had a great night and the next morning made a run for the border.

Funkhouser has global reach in his business endeavors.

Everything went great and we were through in 20 minutes and back to Canada.

Before long, we pulled into our driveway in Flusherville, in the heart of the tri-city area of Eastern Ontario. Kenny Blankenship had stuck a note on our front door that read, "Welcome back, assholes! XX OO Kenny".

Yes, we were home, safe and secure, and best of all, the aging Chippy was with us to enjoy it all. She turned 13 this spring so time is not on her side. I suppose you can say the same for all of us.

And speaking of time, it is 842 days since I was last in Las Vegas. But the drought is coming to an end!

I've started the process of getting ready for the Triumphant Return trip - and that means packing the important things I'll need - a California coffee mug, the Little Giant coffee maker, some Silver Strikes for bankroll, and my virgin Bobby G's Gambling and Good Times lucky gambling socks.

I've taken those same Silver Strikes to Vegas at least four times and keep forgetting to cash them in at Bellagio.

Barely room for the Little Giant!

What will it be like after all this time away? So many things have changed - have I?

One thing is for certain - I'll have a change of socks.


    1. Love reading your story - story after story - can't wait for another chapter.

    2. Flusher, you have a story to tell--only you can tell--your readers know it's true to life. Win!

    3. Looking forward to reading and remember, that Makers Mark won't drink itself.

    4. You can look forward to probably having that same frozen fridge at Planet Hollywood when you get there, its happened to me the last 3 times I stayed there. Leave the door open for half an hour and turn it off and the block of ice should fall off in about half an hour.

    5. Where is the waffle?

    6. Love the bobby g shirt. Was playing video poker at el co and he sat down at the next stool over. Wife had no idea who he was.


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