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Wednesday, May 11, 2022


Day 11 part two and once again, I had to regroup. The run of bad luck had extended ever since I hit that last video keno hit at Mandalay Bay, except for the one dollar Boner Deluxe quad.

On a losing streak, I always feel like I will never win again. Twenty bucks in a machine seems to last just minutes. Twenties become hundies. Hundies become take me out back, kick me in the balls, and we'll call it a day.

But I was determined to make the best of it that I could. And that meant a trip downtown, where there were good vibes and machines I liked.

I spent some time walking around Cosmo, hiding a couple of business cards, and then headed back to the 'Ho, getting my gear, raiding my stash of hundies, and heading out.

The Laurel Lounge looks like it's de-Funked, by the way. (See what I did there?)

I tried the doors, they were locked tight. Onward through the Miracle Whip Mile to the Planet Hollywood parking garage.

The car was where I remembered it to be (zounds) and to pump up my mood, I found a nice big dent in the driver's side door from some mook hitting it with their door. This won't stand.

I'm putting out a PBJ or whatever.

Calling all Flushers, we're looking for a white... car. With some silver paint on it. Probably. 

Later I might write a litany of all the things that went wrong today. But only if it amuse thee.

Shockingly, the Parking Fuck You Arm raised itself as designed, without the usual drama and five minutes of histrionics. So that's something that went average. I won't say it went right, because paying for parking in Vegas is still an abomination.

At the Cal, I had planned to play the older uprights I call Pinchy and Flashy because they seem to be less volatile than the slant tops. But they were jammed up with people camped out on them.

I wandered around the Cal, trying to find a lucky machine. I'd sit down at one and it wouldn't take my money. Sit at another and the chair wouldn't adjust. Sit at another and get facefuls of cigar smoke. It was one thing after another, I was thwarted at every turn. I'd never had such a thwarting!

There were some machines blocked off, making me freak out a bit, thinking about the massive gutting of playable bartop machines at the Four Queens - but a chat with Maria confirmed that it's just cause they are working on the pool.

Which right now, seems to be a hole in the ceiling.

Yup, that's daylight.

I gave the Loose Doose a little try, just in case it might bless me with four of the floaty kind.

Royal Flusher must be Swahili for 'almost'.

I went from machine to machine, game to game, and after some time I was down another $200. Shit.

The day was really, really in the dumper, with seemingly no way out.

I had to force myself to take a break. A meal, I thought, would snap me out of my blues. I walked the length of the casino to the coffee shop, and went to use the Men's room, only to find it was closed. I had to walk back the full length of the casino, use the other Men's, and then go back. That's what kind of day it was.

I asked for a table in the corner, so I could sulk and pout.

The Hawaiian Hamburger Steak seemed like the perfect comfort food, but even it wasn't quite right. The onions weren't charred at all, and it was just a shadow of itself.

I ate everything except half the brocolli. At least I was stuffed full of food.

The question now was whether to go the full $600 for the day. But what else was I going to do?

A slant top with 8/5 Bonus Poker played very nicely, and indeed, I got on quite a good run on it. My latest keno ticket at the D had about 20 games on it, so I was trying to play long enough to run out the clock and collect whatever it would give. (I'd had no wins on it at that point.)

Pointies with Kicker... on the wrong game.

The last hundy gave me a really good, long play, with lots of chances. For the last half hour or so I played Double Double Bonus, and for 20 minutes of that, played at the 50 cent denom. In the last little bit I was dealt three 2s twice within a minute, but just couldn't get the quad I needed so badly.

And then that sick, sad feeling, playing the last hand, and I was out. There's just nothing you can do.

Except use a $20 bill meant for expenses and take a flyer on dollars.

And Oh My God, I was dealt four to a royal.

Unbridled Video Poker Prickism

Did I cash the $40? No, I played it into the ground, just like everything else.

Time to stash a few business cards around. One in the Cal, and a couple in the Nugget (one has been retrieved already!).

And then on to the D for the last couple of games. My $120 ticket payed out $67 so I used that to buy another ticket. New numbers this time, straight five spot, ten cents a game, 670 some games. It should run for four or five days and will amuse me both as I write this, and when I'm back in Flusherville.

When on a losing streak, if you pull the plug on gambling, it's important to afford yourself some other creature comforts like a good meal. Spend the $20 or $30, compared to adding hundies to your stake and blowing through them, it's money well spent on massaging your bruised financial ego.

The perfect idea came to me. I wasn't hungry yet, having eaten that huge plate of muck at around 3:30. But I'd stop off at Ellis Island and get a rack of ribs to go! Later, I'd feast on them in my room. Brilliant.

Imagine me, Wagoning Up, driving from downtown, filling up the car with gas, all the time mentally chanting "take. out. ribs! take. out ribs!" and then getting to Ellis Island and parking, and getting a new players card to get the discount coupon for ribs, and then smelling the ribs in the air, smell so good, and then being told, "Fuck you Royal Flusher, there's no take out."

I wouldn't be hungry for hours and I had a date with Evan Williams. So that was that.

And back in the Hollywood planet, in my room, I spent the evening drinking and writing up these last two blog posts.

What else was I going to do if I didn't want to lose more dough?

Tomorrow is the last day, and I leave on the redeye at 11:30pm. And I'm bummed out. Seriously bummed out.

You can either win, break even, or be philosophical. The mind games and justifications have begun, but nothing replaces not losing too much or even winning.

Day down $600
Trip down $1610 dumper dollars

In my blog, I give you the real deal. Not just the wins, not just the highlights. Sometimes, most times, gambling sucks, and this is the truth of it today.

At least the view is nice.


    1. What about a Dotty's visit your last day? One of the Youtubers I watch just got a $2700 or so and $20k jackpots minutes apart playing U1 Redneck keno at Dottys. Plus they have interesting U1 style video poker. Go ahead drop in for a few minutes. Great blogging this trip too.

    2. RF, I know it doesn't necessarily help for us to tell you, "Yep, been there." But do remember how precious Vegas time is. It is not time to be eating cheese in your room until it is time to leave.It is time to hit those machines and show them who's boss.

      1. I dunno... what kind of cheese though?

      2. That's excellent advice. Been in this situation before where the question is what are you going to do with the Vegas time you have left. I actually didn't mind too much taking the evening off, as I had the whole next day as well. Got the blogging out of the way, which was a plus.


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