The Double D Cup of Coffee Maker

Day 5 Saturday Feb. 18 part 1 and it was moving day from Wynn to the California.

Changing hotels from the Wynn to the Cal is like vacating a high-priced escort's plush fur-trimmed suite and moving into your brother-in-laws basement rec room. Sure, you'll miss the comfort of her top quality finishes and expansive decor, but you'll be somewhere where you can be yourself and relax, knowing there are no rules of etiquette that you can possibly violate.

We did morning much as the previous mornings, with a double breakfast, courtesy of chef Jimmy Dean, coffee from the silicone Double-D Cup of Coffee Maker, and of course packing.

Jimmy Dean, lookin hot and melt with added butter and cheese!

The Double D Cup of Coffee Maker, hot and dripping.

Oh, the downside of changing hotels, packing. And changing hotels. And unpacking at the changed to hotel.

There was no time to play in the casino with all the packing, which took literally forever. In some shadowy parallel universe, I'm still at Wynn trying to jam my dirty underwear into a non-existent bit of unused suitcase space.

The bright side of all this was that I had (again, literally) THE best non-accessible parking spot in the entire Wynn parking structure. To get to it, you simply had to wheel a couple of 400 pound suitcases through the casino, dodging various immovable objects such as people engrossed in the latest TikTok video of a guy trying to shoot a crossbow at a squirrel and instead accidentally impaling himself through the ballsack with said arrow onto a flaming bale of hay which then tumbles off a roof, taking him and his flaming ballsack with it, and landing on his car while missing a swimming pool by three feet, then wheel them down a short hallway past stores that are so exclusive and so expensive that they have armed guards at the doors to stand there largely, looking oh-so bored, just to ensure that nobody can possible enter, through some doors, past a rental car kiosk, through some more doors, into the parking garage, and then suavely canter up to your rental automobile which is parked right next to the handicapped spot, not 40 feet from the exit. Beautiful.

As far as the luggage went, truthfully, I stupidly packed one suitcase with ALL the drinks, water, pop, liquor and milk, and packed all the light stuff in the other. The big suitcase weighed the full 400 pounds because it basically contained the equivalent of a hot tub inside it.

I loaded all that stuff in, locked the rental, and made a return trip to fetch the Quad Queen and whatever stuff was left to bring down.

And we were on our way downtown! And we had an escort! A bunch of idiot kids riding ebikes and breaking every traffic law known to man. Criss crossing lanes, tailgating, doing wheelies through red lights, you name it. By the time we made it downtown, they were still with us.

At this juncture, I reflected that the Caesars gift cards were still untouched, virgin, pure and innocent, unsullied, plump for the spending by a drunken sailor (or a drunken me).

Nothing makes me happier than this moment.

There was a bit of a wait to check in, but we weren't too worried about it. It wasn't long before it was our turn.

But then - THEN - the unexpected happened, and it seemed like the perfect thing to divulge in the next post.