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Sunday, September 10, 2023

Goodbye Mirage

Thursday Feb 23, 2023 part 2, and after getting another great parking spot, I took the comped Lanai Express Slop Wok food up to the room. Then I got some ice for the Quad Queen to have in drinks.

But for me, my plan wasn't done yet. I had to return the Avis rental car to the Mirage and then hopefully - finally - use some of the Caesars gift cards I'd been toting around for months, and multiple trips. I figured Harrah's would be a good spot to get some lunch.

I was all set to take the car back, except the Quad Queen reminded me of the fact that there were still drinks in the car. Shit.

So now, I have to go down, get the drinks, smell the car, which was now full of take-away Chinese food stench, and haul my heavy load go back up to the room. Take-away Chinese food stench is fine if you're raised in it. But once you acclimatize to the real stench-free world outside the confines, you can never come back without experiencing the horrid, acrid, wok slop stench in full barf-barf mode. The whole way, had PST flashbacks of the broccoli death=mobile from the previous trip.

Anyway, the drinks schlepped up to the room, I headed back down to the car. Nearby I saw a Maserati, a Rolls, and a Bentley. Lucky them. Hope they get good mileage.

I drove the dirty rental car back to Mirage, and dumped it on the 7th floor, headed down the elevator, took the walkway across to the main building, headed down the escalator. It was still barely lunchtime, which was part of my plan. I'd dump the keys in the drop box during the kiosk bitch's over-extended noon till one shutdown lunch, and avoid any face time with that rental hoooor that had wasted so much of my precious vacation time and money a week previously.

Hey, this Kia smells like Chinese food!

As I approached the Avis desk, I saw a strange looking woman wearing a parka, heading into the booth. It was 12:58 and I thought, oh, it's ok.

I walked up to talk to her and confirm it's okay that I just dumped the car across three parking spots, straddling a curb, took the batteries out of the key fob, and dumped it in the drop box along with a mouthful of well-chewed Bubble Yum.

She took the parka off and started squeaking at me in that familiar Chip and Dale chipmunk screech from a week ago.

It was the same woman. The same one I'd yelled 'FUCK. YOU.' at across the crowded Mirage lobby in a frustrated, classless bellow. That one. That very same one.

I had no choice. I decided to be nice, ask all the things, confirm she wasn't going to shaft me in any way. Because really, my rental car fate was in her tiny, clawed hands.

And, thumbing my nose at fate, I also pointed out that the computer said she'd still had 2 minutes of lunchtime enjoy. And, as I walked away, in my very own sing-song little sarcastic troll puppet voice to "Have a nice DAYYYYY!"'.

As I walked away and looked into the casino, remembering all the good times we'd had there, I reflected that due to the sale to Hard Rock, it won't be the Mirage much longer, and by the next time I'm there, it will be very different.

It was goodbye Mirage.

And in another of my patented Vegas random music soundtrack moments, the outro to Layla was playing on the sound system as I walked by the Golden Booby Mermaids for the last time, and out the door. I had a tear in my eye and I cherished the moment as I walked down the sidewalk towards the strip, where the song faded and ended at the perfect time.


    1. Something I just learned this year: If you earn 15000 points at any Hard Rock property, Mirage will reimburse $600 in air fare (cash or free play). If you play at HR Tampa when you're back in swampyville, it's a nice benefit for that next Vegas trip. Granted HR Tampa doesn't provide many benefits, including this one, but since it's the closest casino to me, I do go a few times a year. I had about 13K on my last LV trip, earned the balance at Mirage, and collected at the rewards desk - it was easy.

    2. QQ at the machine? It's been awhile since Siggy and Roy were there. They were incredible.

      1. Yup, that's her. She got her first ever Royal at the Mirage, on nickels. Paid 5,000 nickels. We thought we had it made. :)


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