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Monday, June 10, 2024

Lucky Cucumber Power

Day 3 Part 2 Thurs May 30, 2024 

Things were not going well on Buffffffalllllllo! Ascension. I was playing $1 a spin and not much was happening except losing.

I wracked my brain trying to figure out how I was almost $500 down on the day, and remembered, oh yeah, gambling on stupid video slots in the last 20 minutes. And video Keno that doesn't pay. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Getting down to the dregs of my latest cash offering to the machine, a man sidled up to the game to my left, something large, green, and rude looking sticking out of his mouth.

It turned out to be a cucumber. A snack. And this guy was a rich Chinese maniac.

It was really fascinating. He shoveled a few hundred into the machine, set it for $5 a spin, and started hammering the button. He wouldn't wait for the reels to spin, he'd just jump to the result. You can do that. You can play about a spin a second that way.

A minute later, more hundreds went in.

His wife came over to stand next to him and I mentioned that her husband has Lucky Cucumber Power. I made the eyebrows. She looked away.

Clearly, her English was not good enough to be insulted by my cheap uncalled-for comment.

His bonus rounds came and went as I tried to pay attention to my machine. I got a few bonus rounds too, and things started to hit a bit for me. Was his Lucky Cucumber rubbing off on me??? Why not, I'd take all of his cucumber in order to win at this point.

His wife tried the machine on the other side of me, same technique button blasting technique, but no luck. She went back to hubby's side, dug into a bag she had with her, put a small ceramic cup down on the machine, and poured him some green tea from a Thermos.

Well, Cucumber Boi got on a bonus round that went for 119 games, the rat bastard. He cleaned up for about $900 and cashed out. 

He never did hit the SUPER Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed!

But I did.

Just in the nick of time, a reprieve!

Gambling's weird. A young fella with a set of headphones on sat down at the Cucumber machine to my left and within a minute hit the SUPER Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed! for around $300.

I told him to cash out and go home. He laughed, "That's exactly what I'm going to do. I was headed to my car!"

Good for him, the little shit. But it got me thinking about paying attention to these machines when the SUPER Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed! bonus is within reach of a low bet.

Anyway, I cashed out and said goodbye to Luxor for this trip, and headed back to the room for a break and a few cocktails from my stash of No. 5, made from fermented thistle stems or something.

I was nicely lubricated when I headed back down to the Park MGM casino. I needed to do some gambling, and get some of the meatballs from Eataly that I'd seen someone enjoying.

On my way there, I took a good long look at the Chef truck, the two truck models on display, and discovered something really cool.

The inside of the model of the Chef truck is really cute!

Well, I tried a bunch of video Keno, hitting 4 out of 5 about five times, but never the big one I needed. One 5/5 could take me back to even on the trip.

It wasn't to be. I was thrashing. I played some dollar straight up Keno in partnership with a distant fellow Keno fiend, $50 at a dollar a spin. Hit nothing.

Tried some dollar VP.

I did manage to get some monetary relief in the form of a quad.

Getting hungry, and anxious about my balls, I headed towards Eataly and on the way spotted... Bufffffffffalllllllllo! Ascension, with the SUPER Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed! bonus ready to pop on the $1 bet level.

I was determined to get the thing, to the point where I had to have an attendant watch my machine for me while I took a bathroom break. Am I sliding into degenerate territory, or firmly there already?

I got a couple of free games that sucked, and a Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed! that sucked and finally after a couple of hundred dollars, I hit the SUPER Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed!

Except mine was not for $330 or even $300 or even $200.

Forty. Bucks.

Time to order my balls. (To do what exactly?)

I turned down a plethora of sandwiches and got my saucy hot balls.

Would you say I have a plethora of sandwiches?

Well the good news is that at least the meatballs were stunningly delicious. I had three balls, which explains the limp.

After that, I went back to hammer the video Keno, but it just wasn't hitting. I did have a brief respite from 50 cent video poker, but in the end, it was a day.

I was down quite a bit, but boy, I'd had a fun day in Vegas.

With apologies to Dobie Gray, Give me the meatballs and feed my soul, I wanna get lost in your buttered roll and drift away!

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