No Intention to Gamble

Day 4 Part 1 Fri May 31, 2024 

I've been bombing around so much that I seem to have strained my left ankle. It's an aggravation of a number of sprains I've had in that ankle and foot over the years. Probably scar tissue.

Regardless, I woke up and noticed the ankle was stiff and sore. I'm not used to doing 12,000 steps a day, and often in the casino, you're sitting in weird positions with your feet all twisted into knots. Plus, I suppose, dragging suitcases around puts extra weight on everything.

It was nagging but not terribly concerning. I'd just have to take it easy, I thought.

Check out day - so I had my usual morning. Self-made coffee in the room, plus a breakfast snack, and a few hours of writing. Then I got to packing for the move downtown.

I thought I still had some resort credit to use, so with my chores done, I headed down to try out the Side Betty Grill, the 24 hour hole in the wall place at Park MGM.

On the way, I passed The Chef truck, which has a couple of really cool models on display around it. If you wander by, be sure to check them out.

I didn't really intend to gamble. On the way, though, minding my own business, I happened to glance at a Bufffffffffallllllo! Ascension machine with a SUPER Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed! bonus that was ready to pop. 

And, it was at the one dollar denomination.

I couldn't believe someone would leave it unclaimed, but regardless, I slipped $20 into the machine.

The debate rages in my mind about two things. One, why am I so stupid. Two, how should I write about this in the blog. How much detail do you need evidencing said stupidity?

Let's just say this. Fuck Buffffffffalllllllo! Asscension. Fuck it hard and fuck it fast. Fuck it all to hell. Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

A few minor details. I was the esteemed beneficiary of three bonus rounds - results $0, $8, $0. And the non-Super Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed! bonuses I managed to trigger paid $6 each.

The next mook who wanders by can wonder why someone would leave the SUPER Incredible Amazing Buffffffffalllllllllo! Steampeed! bonus unclaimed.

The damage was significant and in many ways, I'd screwed my whole day. I felt angry and stupid and sick and stupid.

The miasma of degeneracy and lack of self-control that surrounded me was palpable. And totally worth it, so that you can read about it and derive whatever enjoyment you deem fit. That's just another way I 'give back'.

How else can I spin this gambling debacle?

I ordered the breakfast sandwich from Side Slutty Betty - egg, cheddar cheese, sausage. Expectations were low. I was thinking a $14 Egg McMuffin but when I opened it up back in the room, I was surprised at the heft of the thing. And it was actually very good. A small consolation. Worth $14? Of course not. Par for the course on the strip these days? Definitely.

Fuming, steaming, upset, and full of Betty, I hauled all my stuff down to the lobby and lined up with the other cattle to confirm that the entirety of my $50 resort credit had been applied. It had, and the bill for 3 days at Park MGM was $162.

Next stop, ride share. Tina provided one of the calmest, safest, smoothest, swiftest rides downtown I've ever had in a Lyft, notwithstanding that her aged Chevy Cruze was a shitbox with no suspension, making the 403 speed bumps getting out of Park MGM a memorably vigorous vertebrae massage. It was a very clean shitbox, though.

Tina got 5 stars from me and a nice tip, and I got a five star Rider badge. Gosh, the good news just keeps coming.

I arrived at the California Hotel and Casino lobby at ten minutes to eleven. Boyd had pinged and offered mobile check in, but I couldn't get it to work, so I approached the desk to let the check-in Sheila work her room key magic.

The Vegas Death of 1000 Cuts continues as value and goodwill are chipped away like Rodin mercilessly shaping the stone-cold balls on The Thinker, chisel strike by chisel strike.

The Cal now charges for early check-in. The Aloha spirit of the Cal now allows for a fuck you charge for early check-in, even though the room is ready.

"How much is it?" I inquired. 

"$22 of your Earth Dollars."

"And when can I check in without incurring this uncalled-for abomination of a cash grab?" I inquired.

"One on the clock. Some two hours and ten minutes from now. The bell desk can store your luggage for a fat tip."

I thought carefully for about 5 seconds, thinking about the big rant Chevy Chase delivers in Christmas Vacation when he finds his annual bonus has devolved to a membership in the jelly of the month club.

"I'll give you my tat fip! NO thank you and MAHALO for nothing, you avil tweet!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs.

It should be noted that it was actually at the bottom of my lungs, not shrieked, and at no time did I call anyone an avil tweet.

I took stock of my situation.

Most of my day's budget was already blown. I had 2 hours and 10 minutes to kill, and I wanted to keep busy, instead of just sitting somewhere, waiting, like a fucking stooge. In my wallet was $107. I also had $23 of Admin money that I supposed I could pilfer. And I had $20 in freeplay on my card.

On a trip where I haven't been able to hit a thing on Keno, and where quads have been almost totally elusive, I somehow had to play for over 2 hours on $107, with very little emergency backup funds.

I thought, well, what could I play that isn't too volatile, but has a chance at making a big difference in my financial situation?

Just steps away was the Quad Queen's favorite Shockwave machine, situated right next to a pole, perfect for keeping luggage nearby. If I could hit two quads within 10 hands, I'd win $1000 plus $32.50 for the first quad. And that would make a difference.

My lone, last hundy slipped into the machine, and I got busy.