Senor Gustavo Flusher El Vigoroso

Day 2 Wed May 29, 2024 

Today, I am not Royal Flusher.

Today, I am Flusher El Vigoroso, also known as Senor Gustavo, The Legendary Explorer.

I am tough, I am strong, and I squint confidently into the distance while smoking a cup of coffee.

Senor Gustavo, El Vigaroso

Marketing legend has it that Senor Gustavo (who is actually a numbered company based in Quebec) wandered the mountains, searching for an affordable Real Good Coffee because the villagers could not afford a Real Good Coffee.

I'm sorry to say that the Little Giant coffee maker did not make the trip here. I'm always on the lookout for the perfect in-room coffee making equipment and so far, the Little Giant has been unbeatable when measured by its displacement in cubic inches, and its weight.

There are only two concerns - because of its odd shape, it's hard to pack and susceptible to breakage, and, it's getting on (and susceptible to crapping out and/or breakage).

I found a travel kettle on Temu that challenges the Little Giant, when combined with my collapsible silicone coffee brewer. It was listed as a Fast Boiling 350ml Travel Kettle. Portable. Stylish Design.

It cost me all of $19 including shipping and is now discontinued (but other similar models are around on the net).

I like the fact that it's a sturdy cylinder, with a short detachable cord that can fit inside it. The silicone coffee cone fits in there too, so there's very little wasted space.

It weighs in at a little bit over a pound, it's sturdy as hell, and packing it is efficient and simple. Boiled water from the kettle would be better for tea, or any other thing like Cup Noodle or whatever than the coffee-stink water from the Little Giant would be. And you could heat stew or CTUG in it or something I suppose.

This trip would be its first real trial. This morning, in fact.

I'm trying to kind of stay on Eastern time, since I have such a hard task getting back on it when I return home. Being here solo, it's my Vegas and I can do as I please!

And so, I slept fairly well and woke up at 4:44 am. And rolled out of bed 10 minutes later. I had things to do!

Coupled with a nicely sized 8oz package of Senor Gustavo (El Vigoroso) coffee and my genuine Boyd melamine mug, I had a nice setup for the room.

Well, I can tell you, the Portable Beaker (as its labeled) performed like a champ. It boiled the water in about 3 minutes and in no time, I was smoking a perfectly brewed cup of coffee. Delightful!

I sipped away on it and munched some Emergency Mixed Nuts I brought from home as I typed up yesterday's blog entries.

Little Giant, you need to be concerned, my old friend!

The blogging took quite a while and I didn't feel like rushing out the door anyway. But I eventually got really hungry, and still had a hankering for McDick's.

So, I formulated a plan. Get to McDonald's, try the CX bus downtown, get money from the Bank of America ATM (I only brought $500 with me), and play some full pay VP at the Plaza, and maybe some blackjack or craps.

It was already getting hot by the time I got out the door, but I managed to stay mostly in the shade on the way to McDonald's. I've forgotten just how much walking you have to do when you're on the strip and want to get around.

Breakfast was two Sausage McMuffins with Egg. Delicious. I also snuck a pick of a kindred spirit wearing the best shirt ever.

After breakfast, I walked up the Strip to the bus stop. The pedestrian walkways over the intersections are necessary, but are sure a pain in the ass. Especially if the escalators aren't working.

I bought a 3 day Strip and All Access bus pass for $20, and using it was a piece of cake. It's all on my phone. There's a QR code that you scan when you board.

Aboard The People's Limousine

It was about a 10 minute wait for the CX bus and another 10 minutes and I was downtown, and nobody ranted at me. It conveniently dropped me 2 blocks from the Bank, to which I briskly proceeded in an efficient manner in order to confirm that, yes, I'd left my bank card safely stowed in my room at Park MGM. Good stuff, well done.

Feeling on top of things with the knowledge that my ATM card was safe, I then retraced my steps, and entered The D. Good thing I still had the 5 c-notes on me that I'd brought to Vegas.

One hundred dollars were invested in a 250 game 40 cent Keno ticket. I was sure it would pay handsome dividends in just a few short hours.

I then proceeded through the Four Queens (where I dropped $5 on dollar Jacks), through the Golden Nugget (where I dropped a quick $25 on video keno), and down to the Plaza. It was nice to become acquainted with the fact that Fremont now intermittently blasts ads for the Zipline at you at top volume, shattering whatever inner peace you might have brought with you downtown.

At the Plaza, I attacked full pay quarter Boner Deluxe. The only problem was that after playing through $265 over the course of an hour and a half I never hit a single four of a kind. Not one.

Ten hands in, I did have a shot at a Royal.

I came all that way to play full pay video poker, but if the quads aren't coming, it doesn't matter. I had to regroup and try something else.

Another $100 disappeared on Buffalo (the one with 2 out of 3 WHEEL symbols showing up on each spin) and just like that, I was in trouble, down to my last $100.

I was down to my last $100, literally. I had no other money with me in Vegas. Maybe my Keno ticket had won something.

Checking the numbers on kenocloud, I did a search and a five out of five came up - my numbers had hit... earlier in the morning, about 40 games BEFORE I bought my ticket. Woe is I.

Dr. Raoul Shiboubou, my Penguin wrangler cousin, swears by this particular older video slot, the rather flamboyant White Orchid. He claims to have no understanding of how it works, what the symbols mean, or what's going on, other than he's had exceptional luck on it.

I put my lone, last $100 into the machine and things started happening almost immediately. Holy crap.

I couldn't believe it. I was back in the hunt. I cashed.

The little screen on the machine had been spouting off various promotions including a Mystery Multiplier.

I swiped at the kiosk and was granted a $5 dining comp, and a 9x multiplier on points for the day. Not bad at all.

I saw one of those Huffy Puffy Daddy Piggy Sex Offender games, so I thought I'd give it a try. $100 went by with no bonus whatsoever.

Could Flamboyant White Orchid help me again?

It could! An extra $80 to blow on VP!

Well, I thought, the video poker machine I had been playing has to give up a quad sooner or later, right? In fact, they will probably come 2 or 3 at a time.

Wrong.

I went a bit bigger, playing 50 cent Boner Deluxe, and some dollar Bonus Poker. But it went for naught and somehow, I was flat broke.

Fortunately, I had options. I guess it's fortunately, because accessing more money meant I could also lose more.

Hot Vegas had roasted my nuts, I was down $590 and headed for Main Street Station to take a marker.

The bad business decisions made in the pandemic have really kicked this beautiful casino to the curb. It's still quiet and the table games are only open on weekends. The buffet is open for brunch, and dinner only on the weekends.

Cannonballs are launched regularly through the premises without hitting anyone.

I took my marker and decided to play the Quad Queen's and my old machines. Since I hadn't had a quad, the Loose Doose seemed to be a good choice. Might as well make the quad four ducks for $625, right?

The machine played nice for a while, until it didn't. With about $30 left, I switched to 50 cent Bonus Poker. I even Lazarused a couple of times before clawing back long enough to hit my first (and only) quad of the day.

I cashed out $200 and headed for Binion's to catch the CX bus back to the strip.

Again, it was a swift ride. The CX would be a very convenient choice if one were staying at Bellagio, Caesars, or anywhere around the corner of Flamingo and the Strip. You can get back and forth from downtown in 10-12 minutes, which is way better than that laggard The Deuce. It runs about once an hour, so it takes a little planning, but the RTC app helpfully shows you just where the CX is at any time, so you don't have to suffer with "Waiting For The Bus Goddamn It Did The Bus Already Come And I Missed It" -itis.

I worked my way from the bus stop outside the Ballyhorseshoe, past Ole Big Red, which seems to have popped up out of nowhere (cool looking place, actually and kudos for featuring live music, even if it is country), and past all the shops in Bellagio, which I will never enter, can not afford, and do not wish to afford. The last thing I need is yet another $20,000 handbag cluttering up my fridge at home.

Since I hadn't gambled in almost an hour, it seemed fitting to stop in the Bellagio casino. I had a pleasant time playing video keno, but 5 out of 5 still eluded me. The $100 I'd profited at Main Street was gone and it was time to find some chow and call it a night. After all, it was pushing 5:00 pm.

There's a crepe place on the way to the Aria/Park MGM tram at the back of Bellagio and I picked up a chicken caesar salad for dinner, and a blueberry muffin for tomorrow. I hadn't used any of my $50 resort comp so I figured I'd better get at it.

The salad was pretty good. I had a few drinks and watched Anne Hathaway teary-eye her way through the last 35 minutes of the May November romance humpy humpy movie. 

At 12,000 steps and $590 lost, that's about a nickel a step.

I figured I'd better take it easy tomorrow, I can't afford to walk, even if I am Senor Gustavo Flusher El Vigoroso!