AI AI Yi! ChatCheapieT!

The Cheap Magnificent Bastard trip is really coming together! Thanks to generous supporters, my bankroll has a nice reserve!

In the last couple of weeks, I've received enough in Ko-fi and Paypal donations to cover the GoDaddy domain renewal costs for royalflushervegas.com and royalflusher.com AND to add $200 to my potential gambling bankroll!

So if the match plays fail and the $191 gambling budget fails, I have a failsafe degenerate loser backstop to use. (I may just use it anyway...)

Everything is booked, and the trip is in September.

Here's how it looks.

I fly out of Watertown, NY at 8:10am. That means I've got to get up at 4:00am that day, drive my ass (and belongings) across the border, and get to the airport. The flight is a regional hopper to Philadelphia, where I change planes for the flight to Vegas, and I arrive in the afternoon.

From there, I'll grab the senior citizen limousine (bus) downtown.

My first three nights are at the Plaza, and then I have four nights at Excalibur, the beautiful Dirty Castle.

Excalibur as seen in 1999.

Departure from Vegas is at an easy to handle time - no red eye for me! - and my only concern is the short layover in Philadelphia. It's just under an hour, and there are only two flights to Watertown each day - one in the morning, and one in the evening.

If I miss that evening flight, I'll be stuck in Philly. I wonder if American Airlines will take good care of me?

I'm not too worried about it, because it's on the way home. On the way to Vegas, if something happens with the morning flight, there are lots of options to rebook me by providing transportation to Syracuse. It's happened to me before - the plane was cancelled and everybody got taxis paid for by the airline.

I've got my LVA coupon book, and my half price RTC bus discount arranged and set up in the app.

Now all I've got to do is pack, fly to Vegas, have daily adventures, and write about them every morning while gnawing on punishment cheese (or maybe celebration Egg a'Muffin!) for your elucidation, entertainment, and general waste of time.

Yesterday, I had coffee  at the Flusherville Dairy with Dwiggie, Jimmy Poon and Kenny Blankenship from the Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer plant.

We get together now and again to catch up and shoot the breeze.

The four of us squeezed into a booth and Carl brought us four coffees along with a saucer full of little creamers before we'd even gotten settled in.

"Hi guys, coffees all around - " Carl looked over his shoulder at the counter. "Dad, I've got that. Dad, go upstairs, your big chair is up there. It's time for your medication and Love Boat is coming on."

Dwiggie ordered a piece of pie and we got chatting. The pie came and went and we covered the weather, sports things, family complaints things, our various ailments, and my upcoming trip.

"Royal, I set up an account for you on ChatCheapieT," said Jimmy Poon.

"Jimmy Poon," I replied, "What's Chat CheapieT?"

"It's a free AI engine - artificial intelligence."

"Like you, Royal," quipped Kenny Blankenship, before lifting his leg, farting loudly, and laughing while slapping his knee.

Jimmy Poon continued. "I've trained it to write like you. I fed it every blog post you've written over the last 20 years. You can use it to save time in Vegas. All you have to do is tell ChatCheapieT what happened, and it will create a blog post written in your style, complete with your unique and delightful sense of humor and hilarious take on things."

"Jimmy Poon, did ChatCheapieT tell you to say that?"

Jimmy Poon giggled, high pitched, and long.

At home, I decided to give this AI thing a try. I logged in using Jimmy Poon's instructions and started typing in commands.

Have you read my blog?

Yes. Your blog is both entertaining and insightful!

What Works Well:

Humor and Personality: Your conversational tone and humor, especially your exchanges with Jimmy Poon, make for a very engaging read. The playful banter and humorous self-deprecation add a lot of character.

Suggestions for Improvement:

Proofreading: Ensure that there are no minor typos or grammatical errors. For instance, the term “Boner Book” might be a bit jarring—consider if a more neutral term might work better for your audience.

Overall, your blog is fun and informative, and with a few tweaks, it could be even more engaging and accessible. Keep up the great work!

So far ChatCheapieT was right on the money, and very good at blowing smoke up my ass.

Can you write in Royal Flusher style?

Absolutely, I can give it a shot! Here’s a piece written in your style, with a mix of humor, detail, and that conversational tone:

Twenty-Seven Bucks on the Parakeet to Win: The Vegas Odyssey of a Savvy Degenerate

Okay, folks, let’s get real. The idea of doing a full week in Vegas for $86 a day—including airfare—seems about as feasible as getting a straight flush on a penny slot.

I better hope I’ve got a leprechaun’s luck in my savvy back pocket.

“Jimmy, how do I stretch my gambling budget?” I asked.

He started laughing that high-pitched, girly-giggle that made me feel like I was walking around with a sign that said, “Kick me in the boner.”

"James, I might end up spending my week watching 'As Seen on TV' gadgets.”

I could almost hear the gears smoking in Jimmy’s laboratory head.

And on that note, I called Jimmy one last time. Would he answer his pi-Phone cherry?

And that’s the real gamble of Country Throw-up Vegas—hoping for a win while cherishing the memories.

Let me know if there are any other specific elements you'd like to include or if there's another direction you'd like to take!

That was sort of interesting, and pretty bad. I wondered if ChatCheapieT could do better.

Write a post in my style where I wake up before sunrise, make coffee, spill my coffee, and work on my blog.

I was up hard before the sun had thought about hitting the snooze button. The kind of greasy early that makes you question your life, but also leaves you with that sweet, quiet calm before the world wakes up. “Royal, what in the name of Pointies were you doing up at this ungodly hour?”

I’ll tell you. It’s called “being a glutton for punishment cheese” and having a blog writing that never sleeps.

I stumbled out of bed, groggy but determined to make coffee. Because, let’s face it, the only thing hotter than hitting the jackpot in Hot Vegas is starting your hot day with a hot cup of Little Giant.

And then, just as I was about to pour myself that first sleazy cup, it happened. The Flusherville universe decided to remind me that I might be a seasoned Vegas degeneration, but I’m still prone to the occasional cosmic dad joke. I spilled coffee. Yes, the entire thing. It cascaded down the counter like a caffeinated Mirage ejaculation, turning into a morning disaster movie.

I managed to salvage what was left of my coffee. It tasted like countertop - not like Vegas at all.

As I sipped my coffee and typed away, I thought if I can survive a coffee spill and still hork out a blog post, then by Veeblefetaer, I can tackle anything — Vegas included. If only writing about pointed quads was as easy as hitting a royal flush!

That seemed pretty good to me. Except for the fact that it sucked AI donkey chat balls.

Was AI any use at all? How was I going to get out of actually writing blog posts at this rate?

I gave it one last try.

Write a royal flusher post about meeting Divana for a fancy lunch.

A Fancy Lunch with Divana: Royal Flush Style

Today, I had the pleasure of meeting Divana, the ethereal embodiment of Vegas glamour and grace, for a meal that promised to be as exquisite as a royal flusher at the Cal.

We rendezvoused at the Flusherville Dairy, one of the city’s more illustrious dining establishments, a place where the linens are as white as a freshly dealt hand of Jacks or Better and the service is as smooth as a good round of Boner Deluxe poker. Divana, clad in nothing but her signature feather boa, floated into the room with the kind of poise that could be achieved with years of practice in the Forbidden Shaolin Upper Cannon Punch Mobius Fold.

We were escorted to a Single Lonely Diner Table. This spot was strategically placed, offering an optimal view of the bustling kitchen while maintaining an air of exclusivity. We chatted about the best quads we’ve ever hit.

The menu was a Shriners in go-karts parade of culinary union decadence, featuring dishes that could make even the Colonel himself reconsider his fried chicken. We both opted for the restaurant's signature dish, a meal so lavish it might as well have been named “C.S.C.G.F.H.T.I.T.B.F.C.E. Fried Chicken” in honor of the legendary Fitz Super Times Pay. We adorned each with meal with a side of RAZGU.

Post-meal, we stopped briefly at the video poker machines, but instead of button-fucking the machines, we took a more relaxed approach, but it was all in good fun.

In the end, as we said our farewells, and I watched Divana drift away like a Mirage in the desert, I couldn’t help but feel that this lunch had been a royal flush of its own.

Enough.

Stupid computers, what good did they ever do me? I am going to have to keep the blog updated the old fashioned way - by writing it.

Back to business, I'll leave you with this exciting bar graph that shows the comp value I'm getting so far on this upcoming trip.

Between money saved on airfare by flying on points, room comps, food comps, buffets, free play, and gambling budget pump-up donations, I'm getting $1,565 in value for my $600 cost.

I'm a Magnificent ChatCheapieT Bastard already!