Penguin Power

As the Cheap Magnificent Bastard trip approaches, I'm comforted by the support shown to me by my savvy readers.

I've got a nice bankroll emergency fund if my $191 budget doesn't carry me through the week.

And good things continue to happen to me!

Just the other day, my famed Manitoba professional penguin wrangler, Dr. Raoul Shiboubou, hinted that I should keep my eye on the mail for a surprise.

Apologies to the families with kids near the mailbox I staked out for 4 days straight, with a few bottles of water, and a couple of pockets full of emergency nuts, waiting glassy-eyed for whatever it was. I understand that you may have had concerns over the 'funny looking man in the car' with the bottles of Mountain Dew lined up by the driver's side door.

I can assure you, those bottles did not contain Mountain Dew, and I meant no ill will. I'm quite harmless, and have a good head on my shoulders. Where else would it be?

The Canada Post mail truck arrived on the 5th morning, and I hovered like an Autumn wasp, looking for an inconvenient place to either build a nest, or sting someone without warning, just for the hell of it. Wasps do that.

Deliveries made, the mail Sheila sealed up all the post boxes with a kiss, and stamped her foot on the accelerator, pushing the envelope of performance on the right-hand drive postal truck.

Joints creaking as loudly as the door on my 84 Tercel, I clawed my way to my feet and approached the mailboxes. Four days in a Tercel leads to just a tad of stiffness. And not the good kind.

Key in. Turn. Door open. Slowly. Bend down and peek... peek further back... peek even further back...

An envelope! Could it be a letter for me? Who could it be from?!

I waddled and pranced my way to and from back to the Tercel, like an Emperor penguin doing his best spring mating display.

The envelope felt heavy. It was more than just a letter. And it wasn't a wad of 1979 Canada dollar bills either. Although those would be welcome.

I opened the envelope up and pulled out a piece of paper, folded in half.

Something - some things - seemed to be stuck to the paper.

Excited and shaking (not from excitement, from eating nothing but lint nuts for 4 days and nights) I unfolded it.

Dr. Shiboubou you Penguin Wrangling Beauty!!!! LOOK - LOOK what he sent me!!!

Four - count 'em - four $25 match play chips from the Golden Gate.

Thank you so much my sweet cousin, you ripper! I'd love to shake your flipper right now. (I think it's legal in Manitoba.)

I'm in great shape for the Cheap Magnificent Bastard trip, which is soon. How soon?

Quite soon. Wait and see!

There's still plenty of time for me to pack well before the trip so that I won't be stressed, plenty of time to wait too long and leave it all till the night before.

It's going to do me good to get out of here for a while, and I can't wait!