Know When to Hold Em

Day 3 Friday Sept 6, 2024 - part one

The Plaza room is really quite comfortable except for one thing - the Pratt and Whitney J35 wall-mounted turbo fan air conditioner, developing 152 dB at 12,000 RPM.

It's so hot out here during the day that the unit can only keep up by running at full bore for intervals of 5 minutes at a time or so, with a 1 minute rest break.

That situation calls for foam earplugs at night, and I've had a great night's sleep every night as a result.

I've also slept soundly blanketed by the warm support this trip report has garnered so far. People are enjoying it and lots of you have donated a ko-fi or two to help with expenses.

One thing has become clear - there is concern over some of my rather pathetic meals, and provision has been made for me to eat something decent for Seven's sake!!!

I've heard you, I thank you profusely, and as you will see, corrective action has been taken.

But Flusher! What happened today?? Get on with it!

Well, I woke up pretty much on the dot of 5:00 am, and repeated my routine - make coffee, eat a good portion of Punishment Nuts, and write the blog.

Yesterday, though, I took it to the next level by making soupy, gloppy, Degenerate Oatmeal in my coffee mug. As I recall, I've done this before when I stayed at the Nugget (in a suite no less) and it was as good a glue now as it was then.

That done, I had a quick shave, and readied myself for another day of Vegasing. On the menu - more match plays!

I had these four beauties from my cousin, Dr. Raoul Shiboubou, the famed Penguin wrangler.

And I could do the Say Hi to Matthew promotion at Circa a second time.

And, in the Las Vegas Advisor book, there were coupons for $10 free play and a $10 to $50 match play right here at the Plaza.

A spring in my step, and a penny in my shorts, I hopped, skipped and jumped my way across Main street into the Golden Gate, just before 9:30 am.

I'd need a few bucks to do these promotions, so my daily gambling budget was set at a whopping $120 - basically all of my winnings thus far. 

To say the experience was underwhelming would be overselling it.

I lost three out of four hands on the match plays and finished minus $25. Thank goodness I at least won one of them - I could have put a $100 dent in my meager gambling budget!

Next stop, Circa. I did indeed get the second $25 match play for uttering Say Hi to Matthew.

And, I won it! Thank goodness for that. I felt pretty chuffed, and took a selfie to celebrate.

I'm the one on the left.

You'll recall that yesterday I blanched at the idea of playing a full $50 on the Downtown Grand match play, and pooned out on it, going for just $25.

It ended up working in my favor, as I lost the bet, but you have to look at the long game here.

I have a roughly 50% chance of winning each match play, which pays back two to one. It's to my advantage to do as many of these as possible to increase that chances of things evening out. And it's to my advantage to choose the highest match play value possible.

I know all these things, but the fact that I'm so sadly under-bankrolled got the better of me.

Well, today I rectumfied the situation.

At the Plaza slot club, I set up the match play for the full $50.

A likely-looking blackjack table had two young women playing, with lots of room for ole Flushie.

I laid down my fifty bucks, got chips, and put them all in the betting circle along with the match play.

My first card was a sweet 10 and the second a fairly sweet 8 for a total of 18. The dealer was showing a 4.

The woman next to me stood on 14, and the woman on the end, with 13, decided to take a card. SHIT! What was she thinking?

I could see it all unraveling, another typical accursed gambling experience. She'd take the dealer's bust card, and we'd all end up losing.

Her third card was 4 and she stood on 17.

The moment of truth... the dealer flipped over a 10. She had 14. She pulled another card from the shoe and... busted with an 8.

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN!!!!!

I'd pulled it off! And the inexperienced player at third base had done us all a favor, as it turned out.

And just like that I was up $125 on the day.

To get the $10 free play, I had to earn 25 points on video slots. I headed straight for White Orchid, which stiffed me for the third time this trip.

$20 gone and only 7 points earned.

I hunted around on the bank of ancient video slots and found Kenny Rogers - The Gambler, which could be played at 15 cents a spin.

With no idea of how the game worked, or what I was doing, I got the thing going. On about the third spin, I pressed the wrong button and by mistake bet $3 instead of 15 cents. Shit!

Or maybe not... I triggered the Gambler Bonus!

Kenny talked to me in soothing tones from the beyond and walked me through it. You get to choose one of three poker chips on screen, revealing the number of hands you'd get to play.

Then you drew a hand which paid back according to a pay table on the left of the screen. You can then either take the win, or try a new hand - sort of Deal or No Deal style.

My first hand was a three of a kind, so I just kept it - an $18 win.

I slogged on at 30 cents a spin - because 15 cents was taking forever to generate points.

Some sort of 'boxcar bonus' got triggered a couple of times, and I got the elusive Gambler Bonus again near the end, pulling a straight flush on the last of five tries.

Suck on that, Kenny!

It's kind of fun playing a new video slot for the first time, when you have no clue what is going on. I got my points and won $20, so the net cost of the $10 free play was zero.

I was getting hungry, and I had a plan, so I walked to Le Thai, up by the El Cortez, to have a decent meal, paid for by the kindness of you readers.

It has been years since I've eaten here, probably pre-pandemic. And while on Metformin, I certainly could not have stomached the spicy food.

But here I was, happy as a clam, seated at the bar.

I ordered the chicken satay appetizer, and chicken Panang curry, with no rice.

The satay came and there were four large skewers of it, along with a delicious little sweet vinegary salad for palate cleansing, and a delectable peanut dipping sauce in a small stainless steel container.

I had no idea how I was going to dip my peanuts in it.

The quantity of chicken was significant. I tasted the first bite and it was absolute heaven. Oh MAN! Piping hot, with a nice bit of char on the outside, the sweet peanuty sauce... it was the best thing I've tasted in months. Maybe all year.

Then the curry came, loaded with chicken and vegetables in a flavor-packed gravy. I'm not sure whether gravy is the right word, but I didn't want to use curry twice in a sentence.

I knew I was in trouble. The appetizer alone was easily enough for a whole meal. I dug in to the curry and my taste buds started a conga line and did the can can all at the same time. It was just so incredibly delicious!

There was no way - none - that I was going to not finish as much of this food as I could possibly cram into my calorie bin.

I demolished it all.

All except the rice.

Stuffed, I used the RTC app to check the bus schedule. I could just make the next 113 that would take me to my destination - if I hustled. I bought a half price 3 day all access pass and got moving. (Cost: $10).

The stop was a block and a half north on Las Vegas Blvd, in the no-mans land next to the freeway.

I weebled off as fast as I could, the six pounds of Le Thai sloshing around in my gizzard.

The bus pulled up when I was still 30 yards out and for the first time since 1977, I ran. But I made it.

Before long, the shining beacon of my destination loomed through the greasy forehead spots on the bus window.

Yes, there they were. Jerry and his Nuggets.

I hopped off the bus right at the entrance to the Chicas Bonitas strip club. I hesitated for just a second, but passed up on that particular opportunity.

It was a little bittersweet going into Jerry's. The idea was that there might be some free play or offers on my card that I didn't know about, because the day the Quad Queen and I were there, we never gave our email addresses. I brought along her card too, in case I might be able to download some free play.

But there was none.

I sat down at a video poker machine - the machine that the Quad Queen got her last ever royal flush on.

There was no luck for me though, and I burned through $40 in short order. Just a few minutes.

Two other machines pulled the same trick on me and I had to get out of there.

I was back on the bus, headed for downtown, $80 poorer. My winnings were disappearing.

Back at the Plaza, I played some Bonus Poker, still looking for that elusive Royal. Another $60 went and I felt that familiar feeling that it was all turning around and going in the dumper.

Time to get back to the room and regroup.

To be continued...