Kicked in the Queens

Day 10 Tuesday, and it's the end of this trip.

Maybe 9 nights was a bit long for me. Or maybe it's because I hit those 2 royals and then didn't want to lose my winnings. But I've been on cruise control for the last 2 or 3 days and kind of wishing I was going back to the Greacey Palms Senior Putt Putt Trailer Park early.

That said, I do like flying on New Years Eve as it's one of the quietest travel days of the holidays. Maybe if I do this again next year I'll fly out on Christmas Eve.

Thinking aloud here...

A couple of days ago, I got some symptoms of the Vegas Crud. Fortunately, I've been able to sleep well, and have napped when needed. I haven't felt the need to roar around to all the downtown casinos. And flying solo, I can do exactly what I need to do.

Amazingly, I am no worse for wear this morning as I write this, and I do think I am not going to get really sick, as I'd feared.

When I planned this trip I fully expected to end up sick with something. Travel. Vegas. The time of year. Disrupted schedule. All the things add up!

All of these factors combined to make the last few days pretty low key. It's nice having a couple of royals under my belt. I don't feel the burning need to get one before I leave.

I've never stayed so completely on Eastern time as I have this trip. Usually my nights get later and later and I wake up later and later and have a very difficult time re-adjusting when I get back home. Not this time.

I suppose the fact that there are fewer things that interest me here plays into it as well. The game selection has changed dramatically, and I'm priced out of table games.

In 2019 or so there was almost always a $5 pitch 3:2 blackjack game at the Cal, Main Street, and Fremont. In fact, Fremont had that $3 craps game.

Now minimums are $15, consistently, at blackjack and craps. That's 3 times higher. 200% inflation.

The Cal 'offers' a $10 6:5 game. Well, they can shove that up the ʻōkole.

I used to enjoy a couple or three hours of blackjack every day, usually in the evening. No more.

Many of the VP games I love have been shorted, or removed wholesale.

With the removal of live dealers from the Golden Gate, and the plastering over of any of the historical charm the place used to have, I had no reason to even set foot there.

And the same goes for El Cortez. They've removed most of what was special about the place. All the quirky things have been replaced with the same, boring shit that every casino has. It started when they closed the great coffee shop and they never looked back. Or forward.

Binions has long been a lost cause. It's soul-less and has been for years. (But I hear there's a limited time 50% off sale of hoodies and t-shirts there!!!!)

This trip I didn't bother to play in El Cortez, Golden Nugget, Fremont, Golden Gate, The D (except for Keno tickets). I played $20 worth in the Plaza, which has actually improved over the last 5 years - except it also has been ripping out the old Game King slant-tops and focusing on the 90' tall 10 screen rumbling blasting video slots, just like everyone else.

The changes I have seen from my last trip a year ago are significant, and not good for me.

Maybe general inflation will catch up to the $15 minimums and it won't seem so bad in a few years time.

As we all know, food prices have roughly doubled over 5 years on the strip and downtown. And it's a shame that there's no McDonald's downtown anymore, for that cheap, quick Egg a-Muffin breakfast, or a late night gutbomb QPWC.

Personally, I found my first trip back after the passing of my wife and life-long Vegas partner the Quad Queen absolutely devastating. It was gut-wrenching, but had to be done, I felt.

Last year, it was significantly easier, but I still felt like I was watching myself marching through it by rote.

This year was easier again. I feel like I am slowly finding my place, and able to enjoy my days here in a more carefree way. The trip was not without difficult moments of grief, but for the most part, I can see that I am healing.

So that weight of 'how will it be without my wife' is gone now. I know I can do this and enjoy it if I choose. I still think about her and all the things we did together here constantly, but mostly those are happy thoughts now. So that's progress.

Jesus, enough about me. Let's talk about me instead, and the things I did.

I - awoke. I - made coffee. I - made typey typey on the blog. And I - ate punishment nuts.

And, I - decided on a repeat of the buffet for breakfast.

It wasn't as good this time, it was as if they'd made things fresh on Monday, and served up the leftovers on Tuesday. So many of the cooked things were tough and cold. Check out that sausage patty, and the country fried steak with CTUG:

Manny the Egg Man

The highlight of breakfast was two pieces of banana cream pie, which you can not see below. Note the ironic use of sweetener in the face of the 100g of sugar per slice pie.

Per Les Nessman, this is where one day pie once was.

As I ate, I kept an eye on my 250 game Keno tickets. I'd checked them upon waking and was sad to see that I had no hits on the five spot tickets. And on the six spot, I had two hits of five out of six numbers, except neither of those sets of five numbers matched my five spot tickets. Boy that could have been different.

Still trying to nurse my winning trip to a winning conclusion, I figured that the best play I was getting for my gambling dollar (or hundreds of dollars) was on the Double Double Super Slippery Slappy Slutty Slinky Silly Sloppy Salami Sleazy Times Pay machine.

I devoted $200 to it and played for about an hour and a half. Had some close calls, but no hand pays this time. Harrumph!

Back at the Cal I searched for wins on all kinds of different machines. I'm still in the gambling doldrums, can't seem to find any big wins of any sort.

I took some rest and watched the last of my Keno games. The final reckoning was upon me, and I walked to the D to find out my fate.

I was pretty sure I'd had no big wins, but was pleasantly surprised when the biggest ticket, which cost $125, returned $124.25. In total, $275 worth of tickets returned $200.

Did I take the money and run? No I did not!

I purchased 2 more tickets for $60 each. It's good cheap gambling entertainment. I did a straight up 5 spot and a straight up 6 spot for $0.40 a game each, 150 games. They would finish in time for me to cash the tickets before heading to the airport in the morning.

On the way back to the Cal, I picked up three White Castle sliders. Tasty little beggars.

I ate them and checked in for my flight tomorrow.

And down into the casino, I devoted the last of my $500 stake to trying to win a decent amount on video poker. 

I chose Super Double Double Bonus. I like this game because it has lots of kicker hands that pay well. For example four K, Q or J with a K, Q, J, or A pays $200 at the quarter denomination.

I get those kinds of hands all the time! Should be easy, right?

Well, I was thwarted. Just take a look at the quads I got.

I got Jacks, I got Queens, I got Kings - and none of them with the kicker. To make matters worse, I confirmed after the fact that I made a terrible booboo.

That first quad, I was dealt three Queens with a Jack and a four. And this is something I've always wondered about. Should I hold the Jack kicker on this game in this case?

I looked at WinPoker on my phone, but it doesn't have this game. I even tried to create it but wasn't able to.

In the end, I threw away the Jack, and the fourth Queen appeared where the 4 was. So I could have gotten four Queens with the Jack.

BobbyG said I should have obviously kept the kicker. So, I checked with an expert and John Mehaffy and he confirmed that I should have kept the kicker. Now I know.

So, I ran out of my $500 stake for the day and lounged around the room, watching Keno, and wondering where I am going wrong. Just unlucky since the big royal I guess.

I figured I would shut it down for the trip, but I didn't much like the idea of wasting my time in Vegas. After all, it was a year between trips last time.

And then I got a message from one of my most loyal supporters. Let's call her 'Anonymous Ko-Fi Supporter'.

She said, "Just have fun, what else is money for 😄".

Last night in Vegas. I loosened up, and grabbed $500 more from the safe.

The Quad Queen used to always want to have a lot more cash on her than she actually needed for her stake. And now I think I get it - I felt different. Lighter. Not desperate, as I would have with just $100 to play.

And I got a nice hit on video Keno, and had dinner at the Market Street Cafe. There was a long line-up, so I grabbed a seat at the counter.

I had the Hawaiian Hamburger Steak with fries, and it was delicious. I have a photo of it, but the photo looks gross. There's too much detail with the new iPhone camera! The onions look like they are crawling over the hamburger patty.

It was delicious, you'll just have to trust me on this one.

After dinner I played through the video Keno winnings. I struck up a conversation with an ISG who was hammering high volatility $2 Triple Double Bonus video poker. I kind of watched through the corner of my eye, and she had no idea what the hell she was doing. Like holding 6, 7 suited. Dealt junk with a Jack and a Queen unsuited and she'd hold just one of them. What the hell? It cost her $400 in the five minutes she was there.

My credits eventually ran out and I was happy to call it a day. I'd played enough.

The live tickets at the D hadn't turned up anything yet, but they would run through the night and I'd check them in the morning.

(Update - no hits. I'll get some money back, but the tickets are losers.)

So, the final day tally is a loss of $600. That puts me at plus $200 for the trip, not including the $600 withheld for tax.

UPDATED

Buffet for breakfast. Put $100 in the lucky DSTP machine. Cashed out $113 profit. The Quad was my last hand of video poker this trip. Nice to quit winners.

Two straights flush! And both with the 8 of clubs!

No kicker though.

Went to the D. Cashed in $18 on my $120 worth of tickets. Oh well. Heh.

That puts the final tally at plus $330 for the trip. My host picked up $150 worth of meal charges. And I'm done gambling for this trip.

And the Quad Queen said hello with this sight at Pinchy and Flashy.

I'm sorry the last few days of this report were kind of dull - but imagine being me and having to live it!

Ah, hell, it wasn't that bad.

Overall, this was an excellent trip - one of the best I've had. It made up a lot for the horrible cruise gambling experience. And, I have now had two winning Vegas trips in a row.

Thank you to my loyal readers, thanks for staying with me through thick and thin.

As always, if you were entertained, please consider throwing a ko-fi or PayPal donation my way. I have real costs associated with keeping the website up, like domain names and such, and those donations make the difference.

Until next time... just remember - where there are credits, there are hope.

Flushiepants out.

Night Games

Day 8 - Monday morning found me feeling kind of crappy and craving something other than grease, meat, and carbohydrates. Fruit or vegetables. So my plan was to do my morning chores, and head to Main Street Station for the 8:00 am opening of the buffet.

I bounced around the machines, trying this and that, to no effect. $100 was gone by the time the buffet opened.

It's so weird, ever since my big royal win, I haven't been able to hit a thing of any significance. And so, my playing time has been miniscule.

Not being willing to throw money at the experience willy nilly means that at times today I would be quite bored. Bored in Vegas?

The buffet was about $24 and was pretty good. Manny was at the controls of the omelette station, but he doesn't seem like his old self. The banter has disappeared. I bet his tips have never recovered since the pandemic.

I enjoyed my breakfast, and got some veg into my bod in the form of a breakfast salad. That's a first for me, I think.

Yesterday I thought I'd try the machine I got the royal on again, but it was occupied when I went to it.

Today, I gave it a bash.

I started with $20. It was ineffectual. Then another $20. Mehhhh same thing. Then I primed the pump with $100.

That got the machine going and I spent an enjoyable hour and three quarters pounding away, the first such session in two days. I hit lots of quads and had two chances for big wins with four to a royal deals.

Another royal?!...

Nope.

Another royal?!...

Nope.

So that was that, but at least I'd enjoyed my time playing. And I had a legitimate shot at winning some money.

It should be noted that on Super Times Pay, if you are dealt a royal, and you got a multiplier on the deal, both multipliers automatically go to the maximum.

On dimes, a royal flush pays $400. So twice, I was just one card and a multiplier off of $400 x two 10x multiplier times three lines. $400 x 20 x 3 = (ulp) $24,000.

Back at the Cal I dumped cash and more cash into video Keno. It was awful. Couldn't hit at thing. This was the only photo I took:

Boy is this getting old fast. I took a long rest in the room, had a nap, and so on, and tried to figure out what to do. Should I stick to my careful ways and just be bored through the rest of the trip? Should I risk losing $1000 in one day just so I could play more.

A day ago I mentally toyed with the idea of going home early - something I've never actually done. Book the win and call it a day.

So what I decided on was to get a few mega keno tickets at the D, try the very last of my $500 stake in Boner Deluxe at the Plaza, and then hole up in the room.

I bought a 250 game 5 spot ticket with the 5 corner number. Hitting all 5 pays $400.

I bought a ticket with the same numbers, with all five 4 spot variations covered for 10 cents a game. Hitting any one of those pays $16.25.

And I bought a 6 spot tickets, with the same 5 corner number, plus the 19, for 20 cents a game. Hitting all 6 pays $600.

The total cost of the tickets was $275, which I mentally counted to be coming out of tomorrow's stake. Any winnings would also be applied to tomorrow's results.

Hitting the 5 out of 5 would cover the cost of all the tickets and render a profit of $125 to boot. That would also cover all five of the 4 spot tickets for an additional $65 win.

But the real sweet spot would be if I could hit all six numbers. That would be $65 for the 4 spots, $400 for the 5 spots, and $600 for the 6 spot for a total of $1065.

That's what I'm hoping for. Multiple 5 spot wins would also be acceptable, needless to say!

So, I bought my tickets - and the Keno man complimented my choice of numbers, making me feel very savvy indeed - hit the ABC store for some snacks, blew $25 at the Plaza on Boner Deluxe, and holed up in my room.

I spent the evening pouring myself drinks, eating the left-over pizza from the night before, munching on snacks, watching back-to-back episodes of Below Deck Mediterranean, and running the Keno games on my Chromebook.

Throughout the evening, nothing hit, and I finally went to bed, hoping the games in the night would be good to me.

At this point, I am plus $800 for the trip, not counting the $600 withheld for tax. I've also spent $275 of tomorrow's stake.

Much as I would like to return to the Greacey Palms a big winner, I also don't want to just sit in Vegas in my room. It's been a year between trips. Tick tock.

I've had a lot of amazing luck this trip. I had about $1300 available to me in cash, and had transferred $4000 to a bank account that I can access from Las Vegas. I waited too late to do the transfer and there was a hold put on the funds until Christmas Day. I was worried that I would run out of money at Luxor before then.

Well, here I am with one day to go and I haven't even touched the $4000. Keeping it in perspective. (Also thinking about the ass-reaming I took on the cruise, and boy would I like to win enough to cover that, but it's not looking like I will.)

Unless Keno comes in hot.

Sorry if these last couple of posts have been boring. I'm definitely not 100% healthy, and, well, not that much interesting is happening.

Whatever happens, you'll hear about it!

Uncle Steals the Pointies

Day 7 - Vegas is nothing if not unpredictable. Just when you think you've figured the pattern out, it pulls the rug out from under you.

Or puts the rug back. Or pulls it halfway out, puts it back, pulls it out again, rolls you up in it, and dumps you in the trunk of Joey 'Three Fingers' Pizanno.

This is going to be a very odd blog entry. Should I frame it even more or just get on with it?

There were two highlights this day, and one of them was breakfast.

I'm still managing to get up early, staying on Eastern time, and did the things I do. Coffee, writing, brushing that one pesky tooth, you know.

With some amazing jackpots under my belt, I planned to move cautiously with the gambling for the rest of the trip. But first things first - I thought I'd go back to the machine that refused to give me that $400 Boner Deluxe quad last night, and get my revenge.

I paced myself over the 40 long steps to the casino, walked to the machine, and... there was someone at it - one of the many 90 year old Hawaiian uncles - along with 2 or 3 other people.

Thwarted, I headed for the coffee shop, and got a table.

For breakfast, I changed it up and order the chicken fried steak and eggs, with buckets of Country Throw-up Gravy oozed all over it. This is the hooker with cold sores of the breakfast world. You're disgusted, and yet you can't help yourself.

Did that one land? Probably not.

Well, here it is, make up your own damn iffy stomach metaphor.

Country Throw-up Gravy! CTUG!

It was delicious. The 'steak' was the size of a hubcap. I couldn't finish it all. Which is good, because in the medical literature, this same photo is captioned 'The Atrial Plate'.

That done, I marched to 'that machine' again and... saw what those folks gathered around it had been talking about. There on the screen was Boner Deluxe. Dollar denomination. And four Aces. And a message saying that $400 had been cashed out.

So much for that plan. Uncle stole my Pointies!

I spent a little time hunting around for better video Keno paytables and confirmed that some of the specific machines specified in my notes on the subject had been shorted. They were on to me!

But on the Mezzanine level, in the sea of uprights, I found a machine that had what I wanted.

Note that the top payout is 10,000 for 8, 9, and 10 spot bets. With 10 out of 10 being astronomically more rare than 8 out of 8, there's little reason to play that many number, if the top payout is what you're targeting.

I had a couple of close calls, but no jackpot.

And this is the story of the day. As I looked at the photos in Google photos, all the pictures from today fit on one screen.

It doesn't matter much that I flitted from machine to machine, game to game, between the Cal and Main Street. I tried Pinchy, I tried Keno, I tried that 50 cent Bonus progressive, I tried quarter triple triple double poker.

I hit nothing. Not a damn thing - all day. And it really wasn't very long before my $400 stake was gone. Not very much fun.

I holed up in my room and gazed at the rooftop air handling equipment to pass a few hours.

That's right - I might have actually matured a little bit and learned (or re-learned) a lesson about not going on tilt and trying to force things if the machines are not behaving. I shut it down and just Vibed with what the universe was giving me, which was sweet fuck all.

The second highlight of the day was meeting up with Vegasfan1970, and HuckleberryGirl. I welcomed this meeting for two reasons - one, we've tried to connect quite a few times over the years after finding kinship online, and two, I desperately needed a distraction to protect what was left of my winnings and keep me from gambling like a dazed, rabid degenerate.

And there they are, proud owners of proven - PROVEN - lucky Official Royal Flusher Business Card 3.0s, with the rounded corners and 14k gold leaf embossed printing, and the Strict Rules of Parlay printed on the back for easy reference.

We had a very nice chat at the bar. I only took time out to signal Maria that she didn't need to call 911, they were not after my kidneys.

As I had long suspected, Vegasfan and Huck are two quality, classy, smart and funny individuals and it was a pleasure to finally meet. Yes, they are everything I aspire to be... except self-deprecating.

I'd added $200 to my stake in anticipation of playing some bartops with my visitors and enjoy comped beers - which is what happened. Huck won $20 and I lost $10.

After they headed off, I played the rest of my fifth hundy of the day, and then just chilled again. Rested, took a nap, tried to figure out what dinner would be.

After that gutbomb breakfast, I'd not needed or eaten lunch. Finally I settled on the idea of pizza at the Triple 7.

It was delicious. I ate half of it and put the rest in the fridge in my room. I am comforted that I now have punishment cold pizza on tap.

This was a strange day. The gambling was just a complete flop, and I had lost $500, putting me at plus $1300 for the trip, but at the same time, I felt I'd gained something much more valuable - two new friends that didn't roofie me.

Today was a good day.