Saturday, January 20, 2018

Glossary of Royal Flusher Gambling Terms





Air FU Canada (AFUC): Air Fuck You Canada, so named because occasionally their customer service is lacking. And they moved all their flights from Toronto to Vegas to Rouge, which means you always leave at least an hour late. Hope you like the taste of your own kneecaps, because there is 13” between rows of seats on Rouge.

Blonde, Blonde4ever: Bonnie, who runs the Vegas fan forum lasvegas4ever.com and writes for the Vegas news site VegasBright.

Boner Deluxe: A variant of Bonus Deluxe video poker in which all quads pay 400 credits. Coined March 2011 in Las Vegas the Royal Flusher Way: Lights Out at the Four Queens.
Boner Deluxe video poker
End of an amazing Quad Run on Boner Deluxe.
Chippy: Chippy is our 18 pound Dane-hua-hua. Chippy is a cross between a Great Dane and a Chihuahaa. Thankfully, the Chihuahua was the 'boy dog' and the Great Dane was the 'mommy dog' and not the other way around. ane head, chihuahua body.

Chippy the Lucky Danehuahua, Royal Flusher's dog
Chippy
Chippy has a 12 pound head and a 6 pound body. On long car rides, her neck gets tired, and her head kind of bobs around like it was on a spring. When the sun is right you'd almost swear her eyes glow red when the brakes go on.

Country throw-up gravy: Southern style white gravy, country sausage gravy. So named because… well just look at it.
Country throw-up gravy, or CTUG
Country throw-up gravy, or CTUG.
CTUG: Country throw-up gravy.

Eight Nipples: Four Queens Hotel and Casino.

ElCo: The El Cortez Hotel and Casino

Enwynn: Wynn / Encore hotel and casino complex aka Wynncore.

Flashy: Very old upright video poker game at the Cal, so named because its candle flashed on and off for six years straight. I think it’s fixed now. Partnered with Pinchy.

Flusherville: Royal Flusher’s home town of Royal Flusher, situated somewhere in the middle of the quad-city area of Ontario, Canada.

Fish’n: Fish and Chips.

Funk, Funkhouser: A gambling buddy of mine who goes by the name Funkhouser.

Jimmy Poon: My co-worker at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer. Jimmy Poon is a long-time loyal friend, confidant, spiritual advisor, and the technical genius behind all the Flusher internet technology. Jimmy is also the Voice of Reason. Jimmy Poon is very short and slight and giggle like a seven year old girl and has a cat named Tang.

Joan of Aces: Contributing writer who has a penchant for getting quad pointies.

Kenny Blankenship: friend and co-worker at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer. Married to LuLU. Non-gambler who nevertheless joined me on a gambling trip to Las Vegas. See Kenny and LuLU Trip Report.

Lazarus: Getting a winning hand betting the last credits left in your machine, i.e. back from the dead.
Lazarus Boner Deluxe Quad Queens.
Lazarus Boner Deluxe Quad Queens
The Loose Doose: The video poker game of Loose Deuces, the way Jimmy Poon's mother might say it.

LuLU: Kenny Blankenship’s wife, LuLU Blankenship.

Maker's: Maker's Mark bourbon.

Mikes Bar: The Palace bar at the Four Queens Hotel and Casino. So named because of the many Mikes that staff the bar. Great place to play video poker and watch a game.

Norbert: Sycophantic arrogant ne'er-do-well layabout boss at the grommet factory, who married the owner’s daughter and was promoted through nepotism. Stayed on after the Pesky Belgian / Crafty South Korean buy-out.

Pinchy: Very old upright video poker game at the Cal, so named because its screen pinches in whenever you deal the cards. Partnered with Flashy.

Pinchy and Flashy: Two very old upright video poker games at the Cal. See the post Pinchy and Flashy.

Pointies: Aces. “Hey, I got dealt four pointies with kicker!”  “Savvy!”

Four Pointies with Kicker Dealt on Triple Double Bonus
Four Pointies with Kicker Dealt on Triple Double Bonus
Quad: Four of a kind in video poker, desirable hand. “I haven’t had a goddamn quad all day.”

QQ, Quad Queen: Mrs. Flusher. Gets more quads than anyone I’ve ever seen. Especially adept at getting quad deuces on Deuces Wild.

RAZGU: A completely useless hand in poker or video poker. “I held four to a royal and ended up with RAZGU. Curses!”

Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer logoRoyal Canadian Veeblefetzer: Internationally known maker of grommets, where I work on the size 7 grommet line. In its heyday, winner of many Golden Grommet awards. The Quad Queen works here (in the estimatin’ department), as does Jimmy Poon, Kenny BlankenshipEberhardt ‘Jackie’ Moosreiner, and boss Norbert.

Seizures Palace: Caesars Palace Hotel and Casino

Slutty Times Pay: Super Times Pay video poker in which a win multiplier (spinner) randomly appears.

Spinner: Super Times Pay multiplier. "Holy fuck, I've played for twenty minutes without a spinner!" "Shut up and deal."

Spinners: Super Times Pay video poker

Video Poker: an apparently futile gambling game in which you are dealt five cards, can hold any or all of the cards, and draw replacements for the held cards. You are then paid according to the hand you’ve made, which is probably RAZGU.

VP: video poker





1 comment:

  1. You forgot PiPhone, Left BeHind Kennels, The Cal and a couple of others from the Urban Flushionary.

    ReplyDelete

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