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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

A Poor Man's Remedy

Say 4-11-44
4-11-44 when baby needs a new pair of shoes.
Say 4-11-44 - can't you feel it in your bones?
This time it just can't lose!

The Royal Flusher Vegas Song of the Day is: 4-11-44 by The Blasters

End of night one, by the numbers... they look like this.

Mrs. Flusher is up on the trip $1580.
I'm up $505.

So between us, we're up $2085. That sounds very revengeful to me!

I ended up sleeping in until a fairly decent hour - nine-ish. Then we headed down to play at the bar so I could get some coffee.

Various quads were hit, nothing too spectacular.

Mrs. Flusher had played in the VP tournament the day before. They wouldn't allow her to register and play for me, so I'm out of the running. It's actually pretty reasonable, I guess. I'm disappointed but I understand.

After some time I found myself down a couple of hundred bucks so I headed off for breakfast at Magnolia's, while Mrs. Flusher played her second session of the VP tournament.

The gift this time was a snake light with lights on both ends, and a TY stuffed giraffe. I'm trying to figure out how this all relates to the 'your the top' theme. Maybe they were really shooting for a 'you have a fucking long neck' theme. Cause otherwise I can't relate the giraffe to the snake light.

Mrs. F did shit on the tournament, so with only the top 8 or 10 getting prize money (out of about 200) we figured she didn't have a chance at any cash. So goes it.

The day wore on and we dropped over to the Fremont to play a $20 in Pick'em. We played without cards so as not to ruin our daily average. Well, many interesting things happened.

One, they bring you lots of drinks at the Fremont.

Two, we played a lot more than we thought we would.

Three, we were approached by no less than four hosts who are notified when someone is playing fast without a card.

Four, each time we were approached by a host, we gave the same story about the daily average, except more long-winded and slurred each time.

Five, we scored a 'hot player' comp for the buffet for two.

Six, we bloody should have played with our cards in because we ended up pounding a total of 2.5 hours each.

Seven, we got to talk to a cleavage cocktail waitress. Mrs. F was seated and the CW was seated. I was standing. It was impossible.

When Mrs. F. went to the washroom I played for her and made small talk with the low cut cocktail waitress.

"So are those your street clothes?"

She just looked at me.

"You go to the grocery store and stuff in that outfit, or is it just for work?"

She laughed. I've still got it, and for once, I didn't get slapped.

Eight, we got to find out more about Larry, the person who gave Mrs. Flusher the drawing last week. He is, as we thought, harmless. Travels with his Dad. Used to travel with his Mom but she passed and now his Dad takes him around with him. They've been coming to the Fremont for years.

Nine, I confessed to the Quad Queen about how I slipped Gordie Howe into her panties in her luggage for luck, and that's why she'd gotten three Royals Flush. It turns out she'd planned on taking it with her, had put it in her suitcase, and had then taken it out.

I happened to come along and stuff it back in without her knowing it, and she'd thought she'd been mistaken and hadn't taken it out in the first place.

So Mr. Hockey, Gordie Howe #9, is, in fact, truly lucky!

Mrs. F's Pick'Em Quad

My Straight Flush from Three. Nice.
We wandered back to the Four Queens, almost fainting in the heat. Alcohol played a part in this also.

They had a hat promotion, so we scored two Four Queen's hats - all you had to do was put 50 points on your card, and we were well past that. Mrs. F. also did the Hot Slot promo thingy where you got 2 minutes on a slot to win some freeplay. She got the minimum - $20.

Headed up to the Chicago Brewing Company and this is where it gets a bit sloppy. It's a very nice place to play, quiet-ish, same Double Double Bonus progressives as on the other bars. We settled in to play and ordered a couple of premium pours that aren't on the gun - Maker's Mark for me, and Jameson's for the Q.Q.

The pours were generous. Very generous.


In fact, it began to dawn on us that these pours were gigantic. The 'rock' glasses they used were not really rock glasses - they seemed to be more the size of large mugs. And those babies were topped up with hand-poured liquor.

Nice quad with one of the fateful tumbler's of booze.

One for Mr. F.

She hit this one too...

Not shown actual size.
We consumed a couple of these each but actually, it had turned into a debacle. Mrs. Flusher was, frankly, pissed. I've been frankly pissed lately as well, and have written about it just that way. And this time I was well on my way.

Seriously, she was seeing double, and we headed up to the room with our vats of drink and ended up not finishing them. The only remedy was to get some food going, like, now.

So we stumbled back to the Fremont to use our buffet comp. I had flashbacks to almost getting beaten up by the Germans last trip. I must say, I behaved my drunk ass a little better this time. My only transgression was pretty much shouting at one of the patrons, who was perusing the display of key lime pie slices in the dessert display, "Don't touch those! They are way too green. Wayyyy too green. Anything that green can't be good for you."

I have a memory of her backing away, somewhat.

Well, that pretty much ended the day for the Quad Queen. She'd now turned into the Anesthetized Beauty.

Meanwhile, I was down about $600 on the day. You may have noticed that I didn't mention that fact.

I'd won a little of it back at the C.B.C. and headed down to let the missus rest, and see what more damage I could do.

Some cool things happened. I got a quad on a redeal - threw all 5 cards away, and got dealt four Queens. That was cool. Won $62.

Parlayed that up to the next denomination and played 50 cent. Managed to hit a quad there for $125.

Parlayed that up to dollar play. And about 10 hands later hit four 8s for $250.


I wandered over to a bank of machines by the craps tables and noticed the royal progressive was at $2,000 for quarters - that's double the usual.

First hand, ended up with 9, 10, J, Q, A. Dammit!!! That's as close as you can get to a Royal without getting a Royal.

I managed to futz around a bit and win some more dough, including pulling another $80 from my favorite Double Diamond slot.

Four Queens on the Redeal. I'm just that good.

Better gambler than fonetographer...

Bottom line was, I finished the day with five bucks less than I started. And I had two hats and a free buffet under my belt.

Royal Flusher -$5 on the day, +$500 on the trip
Mrs. Flusher $-25 on the day, +$1555 on the trip
Combined, we are plus $2055.
VERY Revengeful, but not Zipperless.

Addendum... looking at the glasses from the vat o'whiskey 'experience', and playing around with measuring some shots and putting water in, and guessing how much ice was in there, I would guess we were poured 4 to 5 ounces with each one. In half an hour, that's plenty to fell a Flusher.

Bonus Vegas Song

This isn't really a Vegas song but it should be, because it's entitled... 4-11-44. Check out Pony Poindexter in this sultry, sexy, vintage instrumental and see if you too don't have the urge to put your money down on something.


    1. Laughing my A** off, you are nuts. Did they really allow you into the US?
      I will bid $15 for those tighty whities. They must be the reason you are winning...

    2. Those are now considered to be hazardous waste. What do you bid on a Gordie Howe card???


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