Royal Flusher's Daily Vegas Pic - Jan 31, 2018 - Imperial Palace Las Vegas

It's so much fun to come across vintage Las Vegas photos, especially ones of places that don't exist anymore, like the Imperial Palace.

Guess which part of the sign this room is behind.

If anything, the old Iperooski was unique. They did things their own way, and their own way meant weird and quirky.

The owner of the hotel complex itself  also served as its general contractor during construction. Why do I know this? Because they plastered information like that all over printed materials.

Construction of the Imperial Palace included mounting gigantic letters spelling the hotel name on the buildings. In this case, 'M' is for 'no fucking view'.

Now, when I say the IP doesn't exist, that's not exactly true - the shell of the casino and the hotel towers were completely renovated. It's now the Dinq Linq. But walking through I can't really identify much of the old casino.

Oh yeah? Well does the Linq have a Big Bertha slot called "Big Mamas"?

Glossary of Royal Flusher Gambling Terms - part 3

Let's continue sorting out some of the things you might have read in the trip reports with part 3 of the Glossary.

Dinner for Four: VP hand of 6, 9, 6, 9, x.

Flusherville Regional Aerodrome: The airfield from which I take the twin-engined Curtiss-Wright Beechfokker Industrie Ditchmaster Flea-flicker Flameliner Tiger Moth Mark 2 Constellation a la Mode (Stretch Version) to Pearson in Toronto. Sometimes this aircraft is replaced with a refurbed Reapertech Airstream II Cannonball Express Bi-Motor Switchcraft 44A.

Reapertech Airstream II Cannonball Express Bi-Motor Switchcraft 44A in Air FU Canada livery.

Happy Video Poker Orgasm Music: The cheesy but delightful climactic music that plays on some machines when you hit a Royal Flush, particularly if there is a hand pay involved.. There is more than one version of the music - the example below is from one of the oldest type of machine.

And here's the newer version of the Happy Video Poker Orgasm Music - with 98% more walking bass.

Left-B-Hind Kennels: The kennel where Chippy stays while we galavant around Vegas.

Licorice Petey: Legendary gambler of everywhere and nowhere, riding the rails from play to play, a big chaw of licorice in his teeth. See Riding the rails with Licorice Petey.

Glossary of Royal Flusher Gambling Terms - part 2

Blue Skadoo: Gambling buddy and long-time blog supporter.

Bonebook: An illegal knock-off of an Asus Chromebook that Jimmy Poon somehow ‘located’ and gave to me.

Boner Pokus: Bonus Poker video poker game.

BEEEFFFAALOOOO!!!!!!!!!: Buffalo penny video slot game.

Bunions: Binions Hotel and Casino.

Button Fuck: Winning a lot of money in a short time playing machines at a casino. “I totally button-fucked the Downtown Grand when I pulled down two Aces progressives on $10 of freeplay!” “Savvy.”

(The) Cal: The California Hotel and Casino.

Chef Ian: Friend of mine named Ian Opoulusopoulus, who runs the Flusherville Beanery.

Coin dropper: A video poker machine that pays out in coins, not TITOs.

Coin in: Total of all the money bet on all the spins/draws/button pushes on slots and video poker

Coin out: Total of all the money won on all the spins/draws/button pushes on slots and video poker

Colonel Sanders Can Go Fuck Himself This Is The Best Fried Chicken Ever: Amazing freshly made fried chicken that they used to make at Fitzgeralds. Not anymore, the Colonel is safe.
Also known as the "Dixie Lee, Popeye, and Mary Brown, can all have a three-way and smoke the Colonel's white meat, this is the best fried chicken I've ever tasted" fried chicken.

C.S.C.G.F.H.T.I.T.B.F.C.E. fried chicken.

Comp: Complimentary. Something of value that savvy gamblers get for free from the casino after losing about five times what the comp is worth, and ten times what the comp costs the casino.

Glossary of Royal Flusher Gambling Terms

Air FU Canada (AFUC): Air Fuck You Canada, so named because occasionally their customer service is lacking. And they moved all their flights from Toronto to Vegas to Rouge, which means you always leave at least an hour late. Hope you like the taste of your own kneecaps, because there is 13” between rows of seats on Rouge.

Blonde, Blonde4ever: Bonnie, who runs the Vegas fan forum lasvegas4ever.com and writes for the Vegas news site VegasBright.

Boner Deluxe: A variant of Bonus Deluxe video poker in which all quads pay 400 credits. Coined March 2011 in Las Vegas the Royal Flusher Way: Lights Out at the Four Queens.

End of an amazing Quad Run on Boner Deluxe.

Chippy: Chippy is our 18 pound Dane-hua-hua. Chippy is a cross between a Great Dane and a Chihuahaa. Thankfully, the Chihuahua was the 'boy dog' and the Great Dane was the 'mommy dog' and not the other way around. ane head, chihuahua body.

Chippy

Chippy has a 12 pound head and a 6 pound body. On long car rides, her neck gets tired, and her head kind of bobs around like it was on a spring. When the sun is right you'd almost swear her eyes glow red when the brakes go on.

Royal Flusher - Literary Jeanius

"Jimmy Poon," I said to my pal Jimmy Poon the other day, "I have a brilliant idea."

"Is it another winning gambling system that can't mathematically succeed?" replied Jimmy Poon.

"Nope, although that's a reasonable guess. No, I am going to become a novelist!"

"Novelist... heee heeeee," replied Jimmy Poon, with an elfin laugh, his little shoulders shaking up and down.

"Not only that, Jimmy Poon, I am going to write not just one novel, but a whole series of them. I even have the cover of my first novel ready to go. Let me explain it all to you."

And so, I explained my idea. People have said (or written) to me before 'hey, you should write a book' and I always think that it sounds like a nice idea but realistically what could I possibly write a book about?

As I sat absent-mindedly shuffling a deck of Caesars Palace playing cards, I pondered how to go at it. I could invent a really unique character, like maybe a private investigator or something, who got into all kinds of investigations, with danger and other characters.

And then I had the a-ha moment. Even bigger than the a-ha moment I'd had when I saw the boy dog dancing with the girl dog. I'd plan out a whole series of books - one based on each of the 52 playing cards in a standard deck!

"Flusher, you super-genius, you've done it again!" I exclaimed.

Secret Vegas Lights

Sunday morning in Vegas interrupted my dreams with an even better reality. Few things spring me out of bed with more anticipation and joy than football Sunday in Vegas. I walked along the Bellagio Fountain Lake and strolled south along the strip before heading to the Cosmopolitan.

Ice skating rink at Park near NYNY.

Santa's Tuff Shed. Also, at the Park.

The Cosmo covered every option for happy football viewing. Watch every game on huge screens with a bunch of excited fans in their teams’ jersey, with a fantastic bar right in the middle? Check. Stretch out on some comfy furniture with a TV dedicated to your game, with the hustle of the strip out the window right behind it? Check. Blackjack and other table games near the sportsbook, with their own TVs? You know it.