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Friday, January 3, 2020

Luxor Pyramid Premier Suite

First stop after arriving in Vegas? The liquor library. This isn't because we are degenerates - we are, but that's not the reason. The reason is that we are cheap degenerates.

And it's much more economical and predictable to dose yourself with your own supply, rather than waiting on a 3/4 ounce drink from the casino.

With a bottle of Jameson and a bottle of Evan Williams (because cheap bastard) added to our gear we hailed a cab at McCarran and it was a fast (non-tunneled) ride to Luxor. The driver got a good Karma Tip to kick things off right. No sense tempting luck!

I'd done the remote check-in thingy using the app and once again, it was frustrating. I did manage to get a room number out of it (28047 or something), so we got dropped off at the north valet entrance, where the towers are.

But there was no indication what tower we were in. What the heck?

I mansplained to the Quad Queen that through a simple process of elimination, we could easily find our suite within a maximum of two tries. And, there was a 50% chance that we'd find it on the first try.

So, we got into an elevator in the West tower and... it doesn't go to 28. There was now a 0% chance of finding our suite in the towers.

We decided to schlepp all our stuff to the lobby and see what was what.

Apparently, our promised Premium One Bedroom Super Deluxe Tower Suite was not available. So we'd been put in the pyramid.

Oh no.

The lobbyist proceeded to show us a photo of the suite in the room menu they keep at each station.

Astute readers of this blog will remember the pubic hair shavings love tub suite in the pyramid.

This looked just like that disaster suite we'd stayed in a few years earlier. The one on the 5th floor, right outside Club Boom Boom Boom.

I let the lobbyist know that we'd stayed in those suites before and they were in no way comparable to the tower ones.

I even pulled out my phone and showed her pics of the offer I'd booked.

The lobbyist went off to find the shift mangler, and he came by and shook my hand and gave me his card. The story was that there'd been a flood in the tower and damage to the suites. He wouldn't dream of putting me in there, so he'd had to arrange the pyramid suite.

Same old thing that always happens to me.

The guy ponied up an extra $100 resort credit, and that made me feel a bit better. If we super-hated the suite, we could check at the desk tomorrow blah blah blah you know how it goes.

We got keys and headed up the inclinator to the 28th floor of the pyramid. I've never been this high in the pyramid before. There were only two more floors above this, and we were as high as you can go and still see the atrium.

We found our suite and were a bit surprised.

Because it was bomb diggity.

I'm not sure what happened between my refusal of the jacuzzi disaster suite and the arrival of the Suit Man, but he'd put us into a beauty.

There's a foyer and a small bathroom off to the left. Ahead, there's a dining room / living room with wet bar and porno couch.

Off to the right is the bedroom, and bathroom complex with both tub and shower. This would do just fine!


Bathroom off the foyer

Wetbar with fridge

The. Couch.

Main bathroom tub

This would do. This would more than do!

For a very different experience at Luxor, see:

The Crack Lighter Discount Trick (Aug 26-2015)


Who P'd on the eggs? (Aug 27-2015)

    1 comment:

    1. Damn that's a nice room. I never stayed in a pyramid room and seeing the windows on the angle that they are, I'd be afraid of getting a concussion from hitting my forehead on the glass every time I'd want to take a look out the window.


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