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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Here Lies Jimmy Poon's $300 Key Fob

With 20 minutes left, I hit the Fremont. No card. Triple play Super Times Pay.

I played like a madman. It was kind of exhilarating, actually. I had limited time to win enough money to buy Jimmy Poon a replacement  $300 Start-o-matic remote car starter key fob.

And I started to win some!
And I got dealt a straight with a 5x multiplier!
And I was dealt three to a Royal - wouldn't that have made a great end to this story?
It was not to be.
Some Vegas history. Here Lies Jimmy Poon's $300 Key Fob
I played. I played past my time limit. By 5 minutes. And then 10. It was as if I couldn't quit. And shit, I'd have to get my stuff out of the room, check out, get the car, haul ass down to the rental car return, and make turbo-tracks for the airport.

And then 15 minutes past my time limit.

I hated the trip to end this way but I had to call it.

Cash out.

I was up $140 on the session, half a key fob, give or take.

And then, I got my stuff out of the room, checked out, got the car...

I stopped off at Super Laundry. And YES!!! They had a set of keys!!!!!

For a BUICK.

Not mine.

I hauled ass down to the rental car return, and made turbo-Flusher-tracks for the airport.

It all worked out though, I even had time to order some Carl's Jr. Unfortunately, ordering was the fast part. They had a huge backlog of people waiting for their numbers to be called. Some even wandered off a bit, annoying the number calling woman at the counter.

I got talking to a guy in line waiting for a Westjet flight to Edmonton. We were kind of joking about the line and the number calling woman who was getting testy with all the pressure. And then, one of those moments as a blogger and relater of funny happenings that you just could not make up.

"Sixty nine."

The next order was up.

"Sixty nine."

Nobody.

I started snickering and elbow Edmonton guy. "Hey nobody wants 69..." I said. He sniggered.

"Sixty Nine???!!"

We couldn't take it. We started in. No mercy.

"Yes please!"

"SIXTY NINE! SIXTY. NINE! I'm looking for SIXTY. NINE!!!" she yells.

We were DYING... "You don't have to beg!" "I didn't know fish was on the menu!" "How about 68 and I owe you one?"

Finally, finally, Mr. Sixtynine gets his order. Probably some chicken. Yeah, greasy thighs...

All this nonsense almost made up for the shitty burger I had to wolf down.

I guess 72 just isn't as good as 69.

I did play at the airport but for the first time in like forever I didn't hit anything. I lost $40 but the day was still a winner, cause I finished up $100. We boarded and as always, I noted the moment I stepped off the ramp and into the plane - because that was the moment I was no longer in my beloved Las Vegas.

---

Winter was still raging back in Flusherville. More snow was coming.

I'd had one HELL of a great trip. I really, really enjoyed it and it so made up for the previous stinker. I'd gotten my first dollar Royal in 19 years, gotten so many straights flush, snapped off the over $1000 Aces kicker at the Downtown Grand, had so much great food and so many laughs. I'd even pretty much balanced off the Quad Queen's losses.

The usual stuff at home. Get the laundry going. Get unpacked. Look at email maybe.

There was a stack of mail beside my armchair and I sat down to go through it. Mostly crap.

Some offers... for Las Vegas... I smiled. A plain white envelope. One of those puffy ones with bubble wrap, marked from Scarborough. Hunh.

I picked it up and there was a shape inside that seemed familiar. I picked it up and showed it to the Quad Queen.

"Look at this - does this shape look familiar to you?"

It did. I opened the package.



Inside was the $300 Start-o-matic remote car starter key fob, my Tercel and house keys, mail key, 2007 War Amps tag, Veeblefetzer locker key, Pet Smart discount tag, and, of course, vintage plastic El Cortez photo keychain thingy with some unknown broad’s picture in it that I liked the look of so I took it off the board at the slot club in the El Cortez once.

Totally, the Royal Flusher Way.

The End

Quad Queen: trip -$1620
Royal Flusher: day +$100, trip +$1310
War Amps: +$300 key fob
Good Samaritan: my deep, heartfelt thanks for taking the keys I'd probably lost in Pearson International and putting them in a mailbox for the War Amps to do their magic on.


In Canada we have an organization called the War Amps. These guys have supported our wounded troops since 1918. They support children missing limbs through their charity, and through their ongoing education program PlaySafe.

I wrote a check for $150 to support these folks and to thank them for returning my keys. If you Canadians enjoyed The Flusher's exploits, why not send five bucks or ten bucks (or more) next time you put one of those little plastic keytags that War Amps sends you? You'll feel good - and you just might get your keys back like I did.

---

Thank you to my loyal supporters out there. I've heard from quite a few of you over the time these (unbelievably long) trip report was posted.

You've made this the most-read trip report ever on royalflusher.com with over 30,000 visits, and almost 90,000 page views, and still counting.

There will be more to come including a rare Vintage Vegas trip report from years gone by when I was much more degenerate and not as savvy. Watch for that this summer.

Fifty trips to Vegas.... should I shoot for a hundred?

Royal Flusher

"Let's drive to L.A. Let's drive to L.A. Let's Drive to L.A. Right now."




Lost and Not Found

Day 17

I loved this Viva Las Vegas Rockabilly woman. She seemed perfect for The D's vintage slots.
I had a noon flight or so on this, my final day in Vegas. I had met up with my host the day before to see what could be done about the additional nights - I ended up with casino rate and no meals picked up (there was only one anyway). I couldn't quibble, I hadn't played a whole lot and the first two nights were comped.

But what was worrying me was that damn missing key fob with it's $300 starter.

I emptied everything and went through it all. My keys were gone, gone, gone.

I decided to retrace my steps and see if they had turned up anywhere. First stop, the Cal.

I bumped into super server Judy (aka Nurse Blue aka Dr. Red), and told her my tale of woe. I asked her if she'd seen my keys, but she hadn't.

I started at the desk, and then over to the bell desk where they radioed someone to find out if any keys had shown up. Nope.

I had them call housekeeping but no luck there either. Nothing had been turned in. I had another idea though and took off through the casino towards the west elevators.

Bumping into Judy again she asked if I'd had any luck, and heard my troubles again, and gave me a quick hug. Another plus for the Cal, cocktail waitresses that hug me.

Back up on my old floor, I tracked down the maid. She was right outside our suite.

"Good morning! How are you?" she asked, recognizing me.

"Kind of crummy, I lost my keys. You see I -"

"Oh I'm blessed, thank you. You be blessed."

"Well, yes, that's just it, my blessed keys... I lost them. Did you find any in the room Sunday?"

"No sir, I was off Sunday, but you be blessed anyway! Have you tried housekeeping?"

"Yeah, no luck."

I thought, well, maybe it's karma time. We'd left $20 for the maid when we check out to compensate for 6 days of suite destruction. Our regular maid hadn't gotten a blessed dime of it.

"You say you didn't work Sunday?" I asked.

"No sir, my day off. I had a blessed day!"

I reached into my wallet, and as they say in various novels and other written descriptive prose, I 'fished out' a $20 bill.

"Here. You missed your tip."

"Oh bless you sir! Bless you and thank you."

"You're welcome - take care."

"You be blessed now! Blessed! BE BLESSED I say!!!!"

The Cal was a bust.

I headed downstairs again and crossed the casino. Just as I hit the corner doors I looked back wistfully and Judy caught my eye from the bar. She gave me the tentative 'thumbs up' with the raised eyebrows - that universal unspoken look that said, "Hey, did you find your fucking keys or what?"

I looked back and shook my head. I made the thumbs down. I made a slashing motion across my neck. I made paper Xs and put them on my eyes. There was nothing to do but wave and head off to the Nugget.

At the Nugget it was more of the same. I checked at both check-ins, I tried the lost and found at the cage - they weren't in yet. I got on the house phone to housekeeping. I talked to security, who wanted to know just who the hell I was calling on their cage house phone.

Taking pity on me, the guard said, "C'mon, let's go look in the lost and found box," and led me through a secret door, and then up the stairs.

I was going to see the secret rooms where they back room you and break your thumbs! I wondered how many thumbs would be in the lost and found box.

But halfway up the stairs she got a call on the radio. "No keys in the box. None turned in. Especially no $300 fobs."

We turned around on the stairway and I marched out.

I had twenty minutes before I had be on my way to the airport and I had a brilliant idea.

If I couldn't find my $300 fob, I'd win one!


Monday, May 19, 2014

I Betted the Red Chips

Day 16 - continued

After dinner at Pizza Rock, I headed up to Fremont Street to drink the lights in for the last time. They were bright, with neon and incandescent notes, and a brilliant finish.

Speaking of brilliant finishes, I'd been using a phone app to check on the Keno results from my two 40 game tickets - and I had a happy but also kind of sick feeling about it.

I went upstairs at The D to check it.

Sure enough, on the 7 spot ticket, I'd gotten 6 out of 7. Just one more number and I'd have won $7000. I was trying to remember if the number I'd added at the last second was the missing one. I am pretty sure that it was.

One number off seven grand... instead, my win was $83. Happy? Sad? If I woulda? If I hadn't?...

As the Quad Queen and I say about gambling events that happen or don't happen while gambling, "That's gambling."

Back at the Downtown Grand I played a little video poker, taking it easy. Got a couple of things including yet another straight flush.


In the back of my mind I kept going over the key fob thing. I thought I'd seen it in my luggage when we were at the Golden Nugget, but I couldn't be sure. And Mrs. F and I had had the discussion about whether she should take both sets. I grilled her up and down on whether she'd indeed taken them. I was relentless. Brutal. I went all Nuremburg on her ass. The discussion went like this:

It was probably in my luggage somewhere. It would turn up.

Meanwhile, I headed to an empty blackjack table and sat down at first base, dumping my collection of reds and a couple of greens onto the felt, along with my Downtown Grand player's card.

I started in playing with a very fun indeed dealer who remembered me from a couple of days ago.

Carol, the pit boss, returned my card with a smile.

"I have red ones," I said.

"Sorry?"

"I have red ones. And I have green ones. I like the colorful ones," I said.

"Sure you do."

She backed away and I continued playing.

A couple of pretty good looking young women sidled up to the table and I said, "Oh, here's the real trouble - come on in ladies, the water's fine." I didn't really care if they joined in mid-shoe or not.

They chatted a bit and then one of them left.

A few hands went by and the remaining broad, the one with her hair up, sipping a wine spritzer, hadn't made a bet yet.

After about ten hands, I said, "Hey, you gonna play? Jump in if you want."

That's when I noticed her turned up little nose and the bitchy slanted eyebrows and the witches shoes.

"I prefer to play at tables alone."

"Excuse me?"

"I prefer to have a table to myself."

"I see. Whatever."

I kept playing. I looked at the dealer who rolled her eyes just a wee little bit.

The more I thought about this, the more pissed-offer I got. Really, what it boiled down to was, this self-important bitch was sitting there, watching, and waiting for me to lose all my money so she could have her table to herself.

I decided right then and there, that that was not going to happen.

And since I was still the only one playing at the table, I took my damn time.

Carol dropped by and I said to her, "I betted the red chip!!!"

"Oh you did! That's great!"

"Once I betted a green chip. I like the colors."

She finally caught on.

"The colors are pretty. You should get some of the purple ones!"

"Carol," I said, "the only way I'm ever getting a purple chip is to buy one at the cage."

Then I put my index finger on a red $5 chip and slowly pushed it into the betting circle. Then I pulled it back. Then I pushed it... close to the line... back a bit... and finally in, and smiled at Miss Bitchly at third base, still blowing bubbles up her nose with her spritzer.

I looked at her and smiled.

"I betted the red chip."

I was dealt a three and a duece. I looked at Carol. "Should I take a card?"

I took my damn sweet time. The dealer was killing herself giggling.

"I dunno.... five, that's a pretty strong hand against your ten. What do you think?... Should I?... Shouldn't I?..."

Do you think I was being rude? What I thought was rude was someone waiting and hoping that I would lose.

I decided to just get on with it and kept playing. Twenty minutes went by and I was doing okay. I got talking to Carol about the video poker conditions, my win, etc. She brought the floor shift supervisor over to talk to me because I had so much feedback about the poor paytables.

She came over with a couple of lackeys, a pen, and a comment card and we had a good discussion. I could tell that she'd heard it all before but she promised me that the message would get delivered to the top in her nightly report and they would hear the feedback.

I also filled out a comment card and explained why the Downtown Grand should improve their paytables on video poker, back to what they were on the first 3 days they were open.

I am convinced that they will listen to The Flush and fix this immediately.

You're welcome.

Once this was all done, the bitch-dragon-in-waiting left. So I won that little battle. But really, who needs it? I've never encountered anything quite like that at any table anywhere.

I'd had a fun night regardless but finally did get felted.

I looked at Carol.

"I losted my red chips."

Back up in the room, I emptied my luggage and went through absolutely everything.

My keys were absolutely nowhere to be found.

Quad Queen: trip -$1620
Royal Flusher: day -$180 day +$1210 trip





Royal Flusher Restaurant Review - Pizza Rock Las Vegas

Jimmy Poon has moved this review to Royal Flusher World. He apparently ran out of things to fix in his basement and is constantly tweaking things on the site.

No strip mall pizza here.




Sunday, May 18, 2014

Please Pull My Pork

Day 16

For the second time this trip, strangely, this would be my last full day in Vegas.

The snowstorm in Toronto didn't end up affecting the flight I'd originally been booked on - but it caused all the flights to Flusherville Regional Aerodrome to be canceled. I would indeed have been stuck in YYZ.

The day began with delicious Art Bar coffee, and then back up to the laptop to pretend, again, that I was just working from home.

Jimmy Poon had convinced boss Norbert that the dynopeptic germ had evolved into a bad case of 24 hour shingles, the contagious kinds. Norbert was happy for me to answer questions over the IP phone occasionally.

Making grommets is not much of an art or science, after all. It's very much like manufacturing little size 7 rubber disks with holes in them.

In fact, it's exactly like manufacturing little size 7 rubber disks with holes in them.

I hadn't really sampled any of the Grand's restaurants, so I wandered down to the lobby, saying a few friendly 'good mornings' on the way, and topped up with Art Bar coffee before grabbing a table at Stewart and Ogden.

There's something weird about the vibe of this place that has kept me from going in, and I can't put my finger on it.

It has nice enough fittings, finish and color scheme.

Maybe it's just the fact that the room is pretty much a rectangular fishbowl off the lobby and casino?

I think I might like it better if there were some nooks and crannys or dividers or something.

Anyway, I got seated and ordered up the waffle sandwich, which was "2 eggs, crispy waffle, country sausage or smoked bacon, house potatoes with country (throw-up) gravy 11".

That's 11 dollars, by the way. The waiter offered to top up my take-out Art Bar comp coffee, which I thought was a classy touch, since the lack of a coffee order with my breakfast reduced the bill, and his tip.

When my breakfast arrived, it really was a sandwich! It had little pots of ketchup, and country throw-up gravy! And, it was pretty damn tasty.
I did a little play in the casino before heading back up to work some more, losing $100 at video poker, and winning about $65 at blackjack. It didn't start that way. I lost the first 9 of 11 hands. Then I started pressing like crazy and worked up to $125 and walked.

The morning went well enough between taking calls from the plant and starting my packing. Since I had to be in the room, I figured I might as well get a jump on it.

At lunch I stopped off at Picnic, the rooftop pool area at the Downtown Grand. It looked great, actually. Nicely finished, nice looking pool, simple, inviting surroundings.



I headed over to the Four Queens to say goodbye to the lads at the bar, but there was nary a Mike to be seen. I also made a stop at the Slot Club booth and thanked Jay again, and told him I'd filled out a comment card on his behalf for taking such good care of me.
Are they taking these machines by Keno completely out???
I still had a $10 comp for the D so I headed up there for lunch, first buying a couple of Keno ticket for 40 games each. One was a five spot ticket and the other one, I picked mostly the same numbers and debated whether to go 6 or 7 - and decided on 7 because if I was gonna win, I wanted a big win. 6 out of 6 pays $750 or something but 7 out of 7 pays $7000.

I settled on the pulled pork sandwich for lunch and it was excellent. On the way out, I spotted a guy playing that lone nickel Loose Deuces coin dropper - the one that pays over 100% with perfect play. I dropped 5 nickels in a stack next to him.
Pulled Pork at the D. D-licious.
"In case you need some spares," I said, and breezed on by. I don't know why I did it, I was just in a good mood.

The afternoon was kind of uneventful. I did a little of this and that, and played an uncarded session at the Fremont. Got a quad, and almost got a Royal. On two out of three lines. Oh well.

If I could just move a few cards around...
I picked up the car at the Grand valet to run an errand - pick up my super laundry from Super Laundry. They did a nice enough job I guess. Except for the folding. And except for the fact that my clothes reeked like they'd been steeped in liquid Bounce for a week. I hate that horrible chemical shit. The good part was I had one shirt in my order that isn't mine. Oddly, the shirt is mis-manufactured with crooked seams.

At the same time, I have no idea if any of my shirts were donated to some other lucky bastard who is probably going, 'hey this shirt has no scent!!! I miss my horrible chemical shit!!!'.

So, the Super Laundry experiment was a bust. If I could have gotten my stuff (and the free shirt)scent-free like I ordered it would be an option.


Fold job... fail.
I finished out my afternoon and finished packing. I took it easy. I reflected on my trip.

I was a pretty lucky guy this time. I was still up a respectable amount, almost enough to balance the Quad Queen's losses.

I'd stayed healthy, got tons of free stuff, had perfect weather, got my dollar royal... got those Aces.

As I pretty much got the last of my stuff stashed away, a simple relaxed smile on my face....

that...

that...

...that was the moment that I realized I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen Jimmy Poon's sleek black with silver trim $300 Start-o-matic Anti-Cheemo remote car starter key fob.






Puffed and Chuffed

Day 15 - Part 4

I strolled - nay, strutted - around the Downtown Grand casino, puffing my chest out, chuffed by my Aces Kicker take-down. Yes, puffed and chuffed.

Time to play some more of those left-over chips. I sat down at a table between a couple of other guys and played for a while. The guy on the left at third base looked like he'd settle in for the long haul. People at the table have a certain look when they've been there for a long time. Maybe it was the twitching left eye or the sloping shoulders. Maybe it was the cot he'd set up behind him.

Before long I realized that this guy had no clue how to play basic strategy, or if he did, he was ignoring it.

Like standing on 14 when he should take a card.

Or taking cards when he shouldn't and I notice he wins, and everybody else loses.

There's only one thing to do in a situation like that - run. I didn't say anything, not my style, and it's his money anyway, he can play how he likes. I don't have to watch it though!

I bailed and took my tired ass to bed.

Day 16 comin' up!

Quad Queen: -$1620 trip
Royal Flusher: +$600 day, +$1390 trip.




Saturday, May 17, 2014

Chase the Aces

Day 15 - Part 3

What do you do when your tummy is full of 'cue?

As I bid Rollin' Smoke farewell with a little wave of my fingers which were slick with grease and barbeque sauce, I pondered the proximity of all the strip clubs loaded with naked gyrating strippers in the area and what the dynamic might be between those two scenarios and how deftly one might move from one paradigm to the other.

It was an uneventful drive back downtown, kind of a nice time of the evening with the lights on and the sun going down. A great time of day to risk a ticket by screwing with the piPhone camera at stoplights.


I let the sultry air of the desert evening caress my cheek through the open car window and estimated the outside temperature to be a perfect 73 degrees, ideal for digestion of barbecued ribs.

What perfection. My town. Perfect night. A classy hotel and casino to return to. Tasty-burps.

Chucking the car into the Downtown Grand valet, I pondered the inevitable question... had those Goddamned Aces Kicker been hit yet, or would they still be available to torment me?


Incredibly, they were still around and still climbing having reached an astonishing $1,030 and change. It was unfathomable.

Well, I knew what I had to do. Go at it yet again. I picked my spot at the bar, ordered up, and got busy. I shoved a twenty at the machine and started poking. Hopefully I would get some hands, enough to keep me going to get to the Aces.


And before too terribly long I got a sniff of the Aces - good old 3 Aces with Kicker.

 When the twenty was gone, I thought 'fuck it' and put in a hundred. I played that down for a while and snagged myself a quad. Redemptiong! Credits! More chances to chase the Aces.
In fact, I had a little bit more than I'd put in. Onward. Half an hour maybe went by.
What's this, four to a straight flush draw?
Another straight flush for the books. Yummy!
 And after 5 or 10 minutes, four Queens and I'm up over $200. This is the session I have been looking for on this game for literally days. I'd played $200 in 5 different machines in the morning and had gotten burned out in about 15 minutes! This was more like it.

I had a real chance at those Aces with the reserves in my tank now.
Then, the moment I'd been waiting for happened - the three Ace draw.

I held 'em and held my breath a bit, muttering, 'C'mon, be there! Be there!' But not too long of a hesitation, didn't want anyone else to pull the rug out from under me and win them first.

Saw the needed deuce come up and then a dumb cousin 8 of clubs. Shit.

Onward I played, pushing an hour and a half now and willing to play the credits out if that's what it took.

I was getting down there, under a hundred and I'm thinking, okay, the fun's over now, I know how this goes... DRAIN-OHHHH. But wait! Redemption 5s on my screen, and I'm back in business again! And actually, up $7.50.

Onward I go.

Had a couple more Ace scares of the pray and hold your breath variety but of course, the longshot draw wasn't coming.

At least the Aces were showing, with a number of pairs of them being held with usually no improvement, ended up with three of 'em once or twice more.

The Quad Queen speaks of sometimes 'knowing' she has a particular draw and I always thought that was bogus hocus video pocus.

Until this.

Pair of Aces, I held them and the little voice in my head said, "this is it". I slapped the Draw button with no hesitation and dropped my arms to mysides. Because I knew. It just sort of 'felt' right and I knew I had 'em.

Does that sound ridiculous? I admit, it probably does. So let's move on from the mystical twaddle and look at some pictures of triumph over those Goddamned Aces Kicker!!!!!








Yup, I brought those bad boys to their knees and got their little shit of a friend, the deuce, in the bargain.

An incredible progressive, $1048.75.

"I snapped that off," I thought to myself. Mickey Crimm shout-out. Hopefully he will forgive me for playing such a weak paytable.

I played a couple more hands and cashed out a few nickels over a cool $1,100. A quick trip up to the safe to stash the cash and I noticed my little chip remnants from the other night. Maybe it was time to see what I could do with the $65 or whatever, at the blackjack table.




Thursday, May 15, 2014

Rollin' Smoke BBQ, Las Vegas



Rollin' Smoke BBQ is amazing. Genuine BBQ flavors that will make you weep with tasty tasty joy joy. Try the beef rib, trust me on this.

The full review has been uprooted from this, the trip report site, and plopped permanently on the Royal Flusher World site.

Rollin' Smoke Ribs. If only your eyeballs had tastebuds.





Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Those Damn Aces

Day 15 - Part 1

With Air FU Canada's rebooking fee waived, and a storm coming on at YYZ, I'd rebooked my return home and found myself wondering, after all this time in Vegas, what to do with two more days?

I was actually kind of worried because, really, I'd had a phenomenal trip, hitting that dollar Royal and coasting it in from there. I'd managed to book a win, coming from way behind on some crazy Double Double coin-dropper behemoth old school cabriolet dollar action at the classic El Cortez on what should have been my last day. Maybe I was just tempting fate to keep playing.

But then again...

I got up at 5:00am Vegas time because I had more Veeblework to do. I took a quick detour to the casino at the Downtown Grand to check the Aces Kicker progressive after I got my delicious coffee and it still had not hit!!!!! It was almost at $900 which was just ridiculous. The thing starts at $500, it was almost double that now.

I blew $200 on five different machines trying to get on some kind of a run that would give me a chance at it.

Again, success apparently had eluded me. Phone calls took up my morning, trying to keep things running back at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer, where Jimmy Poon had fed them some story that I had come down with a dynopeptic germ and had to work from home over the phone.

On another perfect day, I set out for a quick lunch at my go-to East Fremont lunch spot - Le Thai. It's that good.

Trying to replicate the amazing luck of the day before at the El Cortez, I played $60 on the same machines to see if history would repeat. It did not. My $60 went for nought. You have to respect a streak right, and you also have to know when it is done, and not to chase.

After doing my time glued to the phone, and faking a dynopeptic cough every time Norbert was on the line. I actually took some joy into horking and spewing and snorting and making the rudest noises my body is capable of into the IP phone - because it was all the germ, right?

Around two, I was done work for the day, and I went down to check 'those damn Aces'. And they STILL had not hit. Dear God they were at $950!!!!
Did you notice that the sign says 4 2s, 3s, 4s, W/ACE,2,3,4? Now how are you going to get four 2s with a 2? I'm just sayin.

So. I played another $150 chasing Those Damn Aces. I was getting kind of pissed off because I was doing nothing but losing again today. That was about $410 I was down so far, with hardly any fun to show for it.
My measly quad production for $410 of losses.
Having been in Vegas two weeks, and having brought just a Flusherville Solo Grocery plastic grocery bag full of clothes, I was well out of things to wear. But I had a savyy plan!

I texted for the car and hauled most of my textile possessions, including all three pairs of underwear, to a little laundry place I'd spied on previous trips. I knew the place had to be just super for fluff and fold laundry.

Why?

Because it is called Super Laundry.

The cost for a dropped off fluff and fold job is $2 a pound, with a minimum of ten pounds.

Super Laundry is kind of cool. It is in a vintage building right out of the 40s, with a little drive through in front, and some distilled art deco touches. They have a picture inside that shows what the original building was like. It's been a laundry all these years. I bet they washed Elvis' Love me Tenders and Charo's tassles.
Modern Cleaners from the 40s, before it became Super.
I glanced over at the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop to see if Chumlee was there. All I saw was a line-up. I've never been in the place, and with a line-up, I probably never will.

A terrible picture of a Super Laundry.
After dropping off the laundry and specifying unscented everything and no starch in the underwear, I had a devious wonderful greasy plan which included stopping off at the Strip again to do some gambling - which I did.

I played here and there on the east side - Bally's, Paris, Planet Hoooer, while visions of future offers dance in my head. It was kind of fun to wander around Paris. It reminded me of when theming mattered on the Strip. I played at some bars here and there but mostly just wandered around, taking in the sights. I have a hankering to stay on the East Strip sometime soon.
Welcome to the exotic Las Vegas Strip! With walkways!
My real goal, though, was to experience real BBQ for dinner at a place I've heard a lot about - Rollin' Smoke.

Before leaving the Grand, I'd checked on googley maps how to get to Rollin' Smoke. From Wynn, it was a piece of cake and I was pretty sure I had it figured out.

Unfortunately, I ended up coming down Audrie Lane yet again, looping through the chicanes of the Paris frontage, onto the strip, and then out into Industrial-Land.

I headed left off the strip around T.I. and thought if I just wound around the Fashion Show Mall, I'd magically end up at Rollin' Smoke, which I thought I remembered was on Industrial just at the road that leads from Wynn.

Well.

This all turned into a twisty, turny, clusterdrive. I went up Industrial. And down Industrial. And over here, and back there. I couldn't find it anywhere. I pulled over a couple of times to use my piPhone to try to home in on the place, but with the tiny screen and the way the images spun when I tried to zoom them I was hosed.

I knew I was near and yet I couldn't find the goddamned place. And worse, I was HUN-gry.

I must have driven past about 13 strip clubs, some completely nude, and for a while, I debated just looking at some ribs and hinds and loins and - dare I say it - brisket in one of those places like Cheatin' Darlings or Strippers on Ice or The Hotz.

But no - I continued on my quest. I was on Industrial. I was on Wilbur Clark. I was on Highland. Hell I knew I was way wrong when I hit Circus Circus drive at one point. Taking another look at my phone and the perplexing Rollin' Smoke address, I realized it wasn't really on the Capella Avenue like the phone said. I was pretty much right off a main thoroughfare, South Highland.

In fact, I'd driven by it 8 times so far.

With a vengeance, I pressed the game little Corolla on and it rattled over a curb and almost screeched a tiny bit as it stopped dead from 7 miles an hour.

And I was there.
The Amundsen Expeditionary Route to Rollin' Smoke BBQ
Rollin' Smoke BBQ. Right by the huge overpass that crosses Highland. Now why hadn't I realized that???