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Saturday, April 30, 2011

Chippy leaves her mark

There's nothing like waking up to the sound of a Great Dane / Chihuahua cross throwing up. That's how Chippy greeted me on Friday morning.

Chippy gets upset when Mrs. Flusher is away. Chippy never throws up on the tile. Chippy walks 2 feet from the tile to find a nice piece of lush hard-to-clean carpet to throw up on.

I love my girl Chippy, but give a guy a break!

Chippy was a rescue dog, adopted from the shelter. We don't know if the Great Dane was the mother and the Chihauhua the father, or vice versa.

In the name of all things holy, I pray that it was the father that was the Chihuahau, and not the Great Dane.

I cleaned things up, got Chippy her breakfast - mmmm dog balls again!!!! - put her out, and got ready to face things at North American Veeblefetzer.

You know what its like to have someone jam a stick in your spokes just as you are getting up to speed on your first two-wheeler? I don't even know if Schtoinking is a word, but if it is, that's what Norbert is up to. Come to think of it, that's probably how Chippy came into the world, bless her furry heart.

It's been a pretty bad spring for me at North American. As you know, I was until recently on the size 8 grommet line, and I even had aspirations to make it to the big size 10 grommet line on the sunny side of the plant. Hell, I thought I might even go all the way and make a huge game changer move to get into the much more demanding and precision o-ring production center.

Well, I'm back on the size 7 line, thanks to you know who, Mr. Schtoinker Dickhead Norbert. Some days I don't even want to bother packing my Hoho in my lunch kit, I'm that depressed about it.

Meanwhile, the update from Mrs. Flusher is that Friday she was due to check out of Main Street Station, and trundle her luggage over to the Four Queen's.

She started the day with a fat $620 stake for the day - still rolling off the first night's stake and up a little bit on the trip.

That is not easy to do after 3 days hammering the machines in Vegas, so one or two kudoses to her. Like a reality show contestant, she's giving 115 to 120% on her 'journey'.

I did get a phone update from her after getting home from North American (don't ask). She was trying to order a club sandwich at Magnolias while I was scrubbing the carpet from Chippy's mark. In any case, she ran my phone out of minutes and was too hammered to get her ass over to Walgreen's for a top-up card.

I'll update this post when I get some juicy gambling details!!!

An odd photo from Magnolia's.




Friday, April 29, 2011

Fremont Street Movie!

Norbert is going to give me conniptions. We've had this production run scheduled for one of our big offshore particle board furniture manufacturers (they use a lot of grommets) for 5 months now and the day before the run he decides that the special red grommets they've ordered can't be run. The guy does an end-run around me and turfs the production log sheets for the big run.

Out of the blue.

No grommet run.

Now I've gotta go and explain to the production team just why we can't run the special size 7 red grommets we've promised to Muy Whang over in China these past 5 months. The only problem with this is, when they ask me why, I hem and haw and then I have to make up some bullshit about the mix 'not being right' and the releaser lubricants on the line won't work with the compound once the red dye is added. But this is all bullshit, and if they think about it, they ran about 500,000 size 8 grommets just last fall in a 3 day grommet bonanza and the Muy Whang firm said we were stand-up guys to get an order like that raised in the face of such stiff competition.

So now I have to lie my ass off to cover for Norbert's stupidity and arrogance. And I have to take the heat for the rubbed out Muy Whang job. I'm just glad I don't have to be on the call back to Beijing or Shanghai or wherever it is they use our grommets over there.

Meanwhile, I get calls from Mrs. Flusher in Las Vegas on my phone, which I lent her.

She's supposed to go and buy her own one but keeps slurring, "I'm too soused to get to Walgreen's - I'll do it when I sober up."

I think Mrs. Flusher has been pickled every waking hour of her trip so far.

And I'm jealous.

Mrs. Flusher:

My stake for the day is $400. I'm up about $100 on the trip.

Thursday started with Dollar bp, lost 20. Went down to 50 cent BP and lost 20 more.
Breakfast at the Cal. I sat at the counter. It was delish as usual.

Tried the dollar Treasure Chest machines and dumped $100. Some of the machines say 'win up to $1199' and some say 'win up to 5000 coins'. Whats up with that? Maybe the lower machines were quarter machines, but I don't think so.

Back to Main Street Station and hit 2 quads on Treasure Chest. One for 140 coins and one for 180. Wouldn't it be sweet to hit that $1199 on a quad??? Both scratchcards... $2.

The strangest thing happened next. I was dealt a straight.

And the next hand, I was dealt another straight.

And the third hand, I was dealt a third straight for the straight hat trick.

Played for a solid 2 hours and lost $20 on the session (but think of the points!).

Lost a 20 here, a 20 there and hit another quad on 50 cent Bonus Poker for $62.50 and (the usual) scratchcard.

At this point I was down $140 on the day. So I took a break and walked up to the Golden Smugget. They are still working on the movie.

In fact, they had big white screens up blocking off a big section of Fremont. Presumably they are setting up in there to film right downtown. Maybe they take the screens down when it is time to film? Or maybe they are filming the front of one of the casinos.

I still don't know what the production is or who's in it.

Didn't hit the Nugget for a Royal, but I did hit them for AAAA for $100. :)

Hit the Four Queen's Bar to play Royal Flusher's freeplay, and my freeplay.

(RF: Mrs. Flusher reports that I lost, but she won $140. I think this is probably bullshit, but what can I do? Since I trust my wife, I won't question this obvious subterfuge.)

On to the Fitz to the Magic Meat Machine, and on the 2nd 20, hit a quad for $31.25 and FREE MEAT.

Pocketed the meat ticket and headed to the Fremont to pound for an hour on full pay Pick'Em by the Keno lounge. Put in $60, took out $150, thanks to quad Jacks, which pay $150.

Back at the Fitz, went upstairs to order the 'Colonel Sanders can go fuck himself this is the best fried chicken ever' chicken. While it was making, hit the progressive VP at the bar.

First hand, hit (77)77 $32. Then on DDB, hit (KK)KK for $86, and then hit (55)55 $32 - all this while the chicken is cooking, which takes 25 minutes. Not only that but lunch is free with the FREE MEAT coupon. How good does Vegas taste? THIS GOOD.


Some guy asked the bartender if he had a memory foam butt pad for the hard bar stools.

I told him, "Don't worry, your sore ass will remember these seats just fine on its own." The place just started laughing.

The chicken was OMG good but very salty. Since it's my husband, the Big Flusher, that has the sodium issues, I didn't worry much about it.

Played some at Binions and tried the Cal dollar Treasure Chest slant-tops again. Made the rounds back to MSS and took a rest, and then headed to the Cal dollar coin droppers by the elevators, as Mr. F. had suggested.

Got two rolls of dollar tokens. There was no one playing - which is very unusual if you have ever been to the dollar coin droppers by the elevators at the Cal. It was quiet and very weird.

Opened the first roll of coins, and dropped 5 in.
Played 4 hands. Had 15 coins left.
Played 3 hands. Had 20 coins left.
Was dealt a full house.
Then held 2 Aces and got 2 more for $125. LOVE THOSE COIN DROPPERS!

Cashed out $180 [didn't need second roll].

(RF: I was right about my hunch to play the dollar coin droppers by the elevators at the Cal.)

Played some dollar BP with a high royal progressive - $6360, didn't get it, lost $100.
Played some fifty cent BP and got (55)55 for $62.

Played on it for an hour [net, lost 20]
Dinner at Cal, turkey sandwich, meh.

Finished the day at MSS, on the quarter Treasure Chest uprights.
Was dealt KKKK for 140 coins and $2.
Lost 20 in hour of play

End of day, up $220 on the day and about $220 on the trip.

This is satisfactory, except it seems that all Mrs. Flusher is doing on vacation is gambling, eating, and getting loaded!!!!!!!!!!! What's wrong with her????????




Blown again

It shouldn't have surprised me that the last 2 of 3 bulbs in my dining room both blew simulaneously when I flicked the switch the other night to come and write some blog stuff down. Of course, those bulbs are 'special' and cost about $19 each.

It is not a happy place here in Flusherville when half the team is in Vegas and the larger half is not. Especially when there are windstorms, and no gambling.

When we last checked in with Mrs. Flusher, she was down $90 on the day (Wednesday) and still up $25 on the trip and hanging out at Main Street Station.



Mrs. Flusher:

Tried some quarter triple playand was 6A666!!! How sweet to be dealt a quad on triple play?

That's $93.75 and I got three scratch cards: $2 $2 $2

Tried white hot aces (quarters) and got (666)6 for $62 and... a $2 scratch card.

Played a 20 on various slots - didn't win a thing.

Played some quarter BP and lost.

Bumped it up to 50 cent BP and on the last hand (the Lazarus hand) hit (666)6 for $62 and... guess what? A $2 scratchcard.

What the heck is with the quad 6's? That's 3 or 4 sets of 'em so far.

So what do you do when the play is bouncing up and down? Hit the Boars Head bar, that's what.

Tried some Bonus Deluxe quarters and was dealt JJJJ for $100

and... a $2 scratchcard.

Tried to ramp it up with some dollar VP action and hit (333)3 for $200 AND....

most excitingly!...

...a $2 scratchcard.

Things took a turn in the night - basically lost on everything, played back all the winnings, and ended up down $150 on the day.

Whatever happened to the promise of a winning trip?

And where is the dollar Royal she is going after????

More soon!


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Movie Making at the Golden Nugget

We've got this guy on our crew on the size 7 Grommet line at North American Veeblefetzer who just offs my cheese, you know what I mean? The guy is a know it all, "oooh you can't run that grommet extractor without a face guard" and "we're not supposed to provide any production estimates to the front office unless approved by Mr. Azzryder".

The only thing worse than a know it all, is a know it all who don't know diddly.

And the only thing worse than a know it all who don't know it all is a know it all who don't know diddly who is Mr. Azzryder's son-in-law.

That's right, the guy is juiced in and there's nothing anybody can say about him.

This is the kind of sacrifice I am making while Mrs. Flusher whiles away the hours in Fabulous Downtown Las Vegas, Nevada, USA.

I am not a jealous man. Oh no. I am not jealous at all, I know that when someone has something that I can't have, if I wait long enough, what goes around comes around, goddammit.

I got a cell phone call today from a slightly tipsy Mrs. Flusher:

This morning I lost $60 on dollars video poker :(

Then I lost $60 on quarter video poker. :((

Then had a quad on quarters (55)55 $31.25 and a $2 dollar scratch card.

But then I lost $100 on 50 cent video poker :(((

The sad news at Main Street Station is that they have given in to the evil coercion of the anti-Freedom Pepsico Inc. That's right, the Boyd properties no longer serve Coke, and no longer can you even buy a Coke anywhere in the premises. This is downright un-American, if I do say so myself.


Then it was 7:15am and I thought ABC would be open so I could get some Coke, but it turns out they open at 8:00, so I went to the Golden Nugget to try to take those high-falutin' assholes for a Royal Flush, like my brilliant husband has twice before.

Played by that greasy Grille thingy next to the sports book.

The book was all blocked off - they are filming a movie in there and you can't even get in or see what's going on!

I played quarter Bonus Poker (BP), and got (KK) KK for $31.25 and later, (10,10,10) 10
for $31.25. The very next hand was (J) JJJ for $31.25. Yes, consecutive 4-of-a-kinds. :))

I took the Smug Nugget for $80 profit.

Went to ABC, bought 4 waters and 4 Coke Zeros to mix with the Jameson's in my room.

Back to MSS, and lost my ass. :((((

Down $320 on the day went to room to regroup and to refill drink. :))

(RF: How the hell did THAT happen????)

Played Triple Play near the craps tables and got (KK) KK on one line. $31.25 Put $30 in, took $60 out.

11:30AM, time for brunch. went to the Triple 7 and had the Chicken Philly. It was very good.

Played $1 BP, and was dealt 2, A, 3 and 4 of diamonds. Drew for the 5 of diamonds and nailed it - a $250 hit. :)))

Now only down $90 on the day, so up $25 on the trip :))))

It is dead here - very quiet, almost no smoke.

RF: The last update I got was that Mrs. Flusher turned it around and was up on the day about $115.

That means she is up on the trip $266 - a promising start, considering she was down 3 hundy earlier today.

If she keeps it up, I can probably keep from being a jealous bitter bastard.

Probably.

I'd write more exciting details, but Chippy is nibbling at my calves, a sure sign she has to go out in the backyard and drop another pantload of yard markers.




Vegas versus Home

Not much of a contest is it.

This morning, Chippy, my beloved Chihuahua / Dane cross decided to wrap the little string she goes out on around a fencepost and as a result, didn't have enough slack to get inside again.

Chippy is a pretty smart girl. It's said on the night she was conceived there was a full moon, and an awful lot of screeching and howling going on. But Chippy could not figure out how to get back around the fencepost.

So I had to go out to fix things for dear Chippy, who looked as confused as a first-day Taco Bell employee, and on way my up the three large patio steps that lead to the yard from our walkout I slipped on some wood that was wet, slimy, and dewy with all the terrible rain and cold weather we've had this spring in Flusherville.

Fell flat on my face and I'm lucky I didn't chip a tooth.

Went out into the yard to untangle the string and of course, stepped in a steaming pile of Chippy shit in the brand new New Balance 609's I brought back from the Premium Outlets on my last trip to Vegas.

So now I've got bleeding hands, bruised knees, and a couple of loafers full of poop. I'm cold, and I'm shaking. The forecast is for more rain, and lots more poop.

Meanwhile in Las Vegas, by comparison, we have this from last night:

Mrs. Flusher (the Quad Queen):

Even though we are habitually quarter video poker players, we dabble in dollars only when it is statistically indicated by the expected value of a play, combined with comps and offers, that it is mathematically okay to do so. Or, when we just feel lucky.

After the first quad on dollars, I played for about an hour, then had a delicious selection of dinner foods at the Main St. Station Buffet.

Played more dollar video poker and lost. Then I tried dollar Treasure Chest and got dealt quad 7s! You get to pick one of five chests to see what you win for a quad. The lowest is $140 and the highest is a ridiculous $5000 (which is a long term goal for me.) I got $180 and a $3 scratch card.

Then I got quad Kings from 2, and picked a $140 chest.

Then I played more and lost. then I played quarters - tried 3 different machines, and lost.

Then played another quarter machine and got quad 2's for $50. Then lost.

(RF: Probably a $2 scratch card, she didn't say).

Then decided to play dollar Bonus Poker again and was dealt two Aces. Nailed the other two for a nice hit.

Total for the first day: up $151.

(RF: She also says: It's a lot more fun with you here.)

Well its a lot more fun than being here too, sugar. You get the scent of comped drinks and second hand gambling smoke - I get the pleasing scent of a dump in my seedy living room.

All I can say is, I am not a competitive man. I am not an angry bitter competitive man at all. It's a goddamn good thing she is winning though.

Well, got to grab my lunch and head off to the size 7 Grommet line at North American for the day. Let's hope Mrs. F's luck builds!




Tuesday, April 26, 2011

MrsFlusher: Viva Las Vegas El Solo

I suppose it had to happen. After my amazing solo run in Vegas, my esteemed gambling partner (and wife) Mrs. Flusher has demanded equal time.

And she's off to Vegas on her own!

Meanwhile, back at North American Veeblefetzer, I've had one hell of a time, and have been demoted to the Size 7 Grommet line (from the coveted Size 8 Grommet line).

Mrs. Flusher:

"Arrived in style in Terminal 2 after taking the Aerospatiale TwinFucker Beechdeathcraft B20 from Flusherville Regional Aerodrome to Toronto, and then AC597 to Mecca West: Las Vegas, Nevada You Ess Eh!

Not so keen on Presidential Limo these days - the guy hung out at customs instead of coming to the baggage carousel. (RF: he called the house here in Flusherville and said he was at the carousel. Dork.) I had to shlep my own luggage from the carousel to the doors of Terminal 2 and finally found the guy.

He didn't pour the champagne and didn't even mention it. When I asked about it he said, "It's in the bin, help your self. Want a rose? Here ya go." And he tossed the rose on the seat through the window.

I wish my studly strapping strong studly husband Mr. Royal Flusher were here to kick the driver's ass for being such a rude tool.

Checked in at Main St. Station and dumped my bags in the room.

Headed down to the casino and took a flyer on DOLLAR Bonus Poker. Within 25 or 30 hands hit Quad 6s from 2 and got a $2 scratch card.



Been here 15 minutes and I'm up $200!!!! VIVA LAS FLUSHER VEGAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I probably could have done better, not that it is a competition. But seriously, $2 for a scratch card?

That is hardly being a savvy gamblester.