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Sunday, August 30, 2009

May your Royals Flush be Royal!

So, we have our trip plans set, plane tickets, hotels etc. And I think I know what we will do with the budget plans - use Mrs. Flusher's new Budget Buffet all-you-can-spend approach. I don't frighten easily but this has me nervous enough to try it myself. Yes, we are both going to 'go for it, Sparky'.

I am such a meticulous planner, because I want to maximize our winnings and minimize our losing by keeping costs down. I may also have to let staff go from GraceFlusherland Ranch if we have a bad enough trip.
Air Canada Air Georgian Beechcraft tail C-GONR
Somebody is trying to tell me something.

Being so careful, naturally, we booked the plane tickets on a complete whim. It went something like this...

Shape the idea for a fall trip to Vegas, partly to co-incide with the www.vegasmessageboard.com September Madness meetup.

Notice that there is a seat sale, and try to book $133 flights from Toronto.

Work it through and find out that the fees and taxes bring the cost of a return trip to over $500.

Say Up Yours Air Canada seven times out loud, and get on the aeroplan site to try to book on points.



Friday, August 28, 2009

Blowing through the budget?

gambling bankroll cash hundred dollar bills
A nice Las Vegas gambling bankroll.
Our current daily gambling stake is $300 each. However, with many hours of exertion playing quarter Video Poker, we typically translate that into a Win Rate of -$100. Sure, some days are better than others, but that is the typical Win Rate. We bring enough funds that we could have a much larger (negative) Win Rate. But on our worst trips, we've never blown through everything. Ever. The closest was going through about 1/3 of what we brought.

In fact, for a 10 day trip, I'd be comfortable with bringing a total sum of about $150 per day each, and use the $300 stake value.

But now Mrs. F. wants to do things differently. She doesn't want to be fettered by the $300 a day stake (which is really a stop-loss, or stop negative Win Rate value).



Thursday, August 27, 2009

Bankroll for a Winning Vegas Trip

One of the secrets of doing Vegas the Royal Flusher Way is knowing how to manage your money so you can Stick it to The Casino Man. A good money management scheme always serves the casino gambler well.

gambling bankroll hundred dollar bills cash
For trip after trip, we've used basically the same type of scheme. It has worked tremendously to shave our losses into sliver-sized pieces of gambling loss, and fairly often lately to guide us faithfully to the grail... the Winning Trip.

And so, we are ditching the system.

At least, the Quad Queen is, I'm still on the fence about it. In fact I am right on a post and it is painful, let me tell you.

Our old system was simplicity itself. There was one basic rule, and a couple of riders on top of that. Easy.



North American Veeblefetzer never looked so good.

Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer grommet maker logo
North American Veeblefetzer was renamed in the  013 Crafty Koreans and Pesky Belgians buy out.
It's getting late and I've already had a long day slaving at my day job at North American Veeblefetzer* and tending the lawns and gardens here at GraceFlusherland Ranch**. I suppose I could have some of my staff take care of these chores when the gardener isn't around (he's on holidays), but The Flusher likes to keep his thumbs, and toes, green.

After all that labor I realize I've blown through about three weeks since we planned the upcoming Vegas trip and have still hardly gotten any practice time in on the Video Poker WinSimulator 3000 featuring WinPoker. There is just no point in risking my hard-earned Veeblecash unless my playing skills are sharp.

So I sit down and plough into some Bonus Poker. I get through 100 hands with only 2 errors and I'm encouraged. The next 100 hands brings three times that many. My accuracy is about 96.5%, a percent higher than last time I tried.

Maybe a change of scene...



Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Practice, man, practice


Video poker runs in my veins. It's as if there are tiny machines coursing through my system like little bits of gambling cholesterol. Double Double Bonus cells... Deuces Wild platelets...

I know the Fabulous Las Vegas trip is coming up fast and I really should just put the final spit-polish on my VP skillset. Its probably not going to make a lot of difference but a VP pro like myself should always do their very best to stick it to Mr. Casino Man.

So I fired up WinPoker (still my trainer of choice) and ran through a few hundred hands.

Winpoker screen shot video poker trainer

And.... proceeded to hit an accuracy rate of 95%. Winpoker told me in its little Winpokery voice that this would cost me $6.88, handing a whopping 1% extra house edge to the money eating casinos.
>
Maybe these numbers aren't so bad I thought, but then I realized that this represented one hour of play on quarters in the casino.

Multiply that by 8 or 10 hours a day times 10 days...

Apparently my VP prowess could use more than just a spit shine.

I need to send my skills out to be dry cleaned.

So over the next four weeks or so, I've got to hit the simulator every single night and brush up on the games I'll be playing the most in Vegas - Bonus Poker, Deuces Wild, Double Bonus, and Double Double Bonus.

What's really scary is that I tested on the simplest game of the bunch - Bonus Poker. The Royal Flusher Double Bonus strategy is many times harder than the Bonus Poker strategy.

Maybe I should just go to Vegas and play some other games.

Do they give comps for Flip-It play?



Check out WinPoker. An oldie and still a goodie.







Friday, August 21, 2009

Vegas Mail Call!

Four Queens Hotel and Casino Fremont Street Experience
Four Queens on Fremont Street

This is getting sweeter and sweeter.

Picked up the mail today and there is a nice offer from the Four Queens for me, Royal Flusher.

All I have to do is show up at the Casino and they'll load 50 bucks in free slot play onto my account. And I have a 2-for-1 meal at Magnolias. Mrs. Flusher already has 80 bucks coming at Four Queens on the offer we already booked.

There is nothing sweeter in this world than going to a favorite casino, and having them provide the funds to gamble with. It is like having your cake, eating it too, and then gambling for free afterwards on Mr. Casino Man's dime. (Or quarter.)

That about covers the cost of one of our flights. (I'll put together an accounting of all this soon, so I can see where we sit).




Thursday, August 20, 2009

El Primo Spotto

I live my life by a carefully crafted set of principles. It is important to lead a carefully planned and 'in-control' existence, which is why, on a complete whim, I adopted the premise of El Primo Spotto.

El Primo Spotto (or 'EPS') is a simple principle that has many practical uses in everyday life, particularly if you own an automobile that fits into parking spots.
Wynn Las Vegas Hotel and Casino sunset
You could probably even find EPS - El Primo Spotto - at Wynn Las Vegas. Why not try?
When arriving at a public parking area, be it a garage, or a multi-acre parking lot, the principle says that you should immediately go after EPS - El Primo Spotto - which is the best parking spot in the entire complex.

This will be the spot nearest the doors to the targeted casino, tax offices, place of worship (or all three combined). Yes, next to the handicapped spots, the pink expectant mother spots, the mothers with children spots, then the Governor's spot, the mall police spots, the taxi stand, the extra-wide spot for the parallel parking impaired, the teeny spot for clowns in clown cars (minimum occupancy 9 clowns), and finally the step-grandparents uncles with pregnant mothers of 7 who have hangnails spots, you will find El Primo Spotto.

So many people eschew the supposed power of EPS because they feel, "I'll never get a spot near the front, those were gone hours ago.", or "My life is a holy horror and I'll never get a good parking spot, let alone a decent paying job."

And this is precisely why it works. Well, there is a bit more to it than that.




Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Las Vegas trip wishlist

Main Street Station Hotel and Casino Las Vegas Morning
So, Main Street Station doesn't think Royal Flusher is worthy of their VP tournament... well, guess what, I didn't really want to attend it anyway. I can always win $5,000 in the casino somehow. And Mrs. F will prolly need my help. Its always useful when you are trying to concentrate and already in a hurry to have someone screaming at you from the sidelines at the top of their lungs.

Okay so maybe I'm a little disappointed. Miffed, maybe. Disgruntled. Saddened. Crushed, perhaps. But one has to move on, to look at the coin tray half full, not half empty and devoid of any free entries to any VP Tournament Extravaganza that I just knew I was going to win.

Planning is a vital part of any Vegas trip, so I sat down and sketched out some goals for our upcoming expedition.

In no particular order:



Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Video poker tournament triumph?


Royal Flusher BConnected slot card

Just got off the phone with my host from MSS. I used my secret direct-access priority '800' number to call directly to my host - again there was a mixup because I had to listen to a number of recordings and Ponzi scheme pitches before I reached the reservations clerk who transferred me.

"Hi there, Royal Flusher here, just calling to receive the good news that I am invited to the $10,000 in prizes with $5000 first prize Video Poker tournament!"

"Oh hello... well I sent an email on it..."

"I presume I will be able to get a machine near the Quad Queen's when I compete, right?"

"You don't qualify."

"Hmmm, there seems to be a misunderstanding. Surely a whale such as myself has enough quarter play to warrant an invite."

"Well, we looked at your play. Your wife qualifies, and you don't."

"Well then. Hmmm. I will simply have to make up for this by winning a lot of cash from your various casino games. Thank you for trying."

Busted.

No Video Poker Tournament for The Flusher. How will I make this up to myself???





Monday, August 17, 2009

Wangling an invite


Las Vegas Club and Main Street Station
Main Street Station playing peekaboo with the Las Vegas Club.
First of all, wangling has nothing to do with the 'little flusher'. So get that thought out of your head right now.

I've just gotten off the Flusher-fone with my host at Main Street Station. You see, when you are a valued player such as The Flusher, you have access to certain special casino amenities. My entry-level Ruby Boyd players club card says "Royal Flusher is somebody. Somebody who signed up for a card." Among other things, I have access to an exclusive '800' number which allows me to dial directly to my host, after listening to some recordings, being connected with an operator, being connected to a couple of time-share shills, and finally, being connected to the host desk right next to the noisy slot tournament area, where I can leave a message if my host isn't there.

But she was there and I used my Flushering wiles to make a case. After all, why should Mrs. F be the one to be invited the VP tourney, when I'm the one who expends all the energy writing about it???



Sunday, August 16, 2009

Las Vegas the Royal Flusher Way


Las Vegas the Royal Flusher Way blog logo

August, 2009

We are going to Las Vegas and we are going to win!

Win money. Cash. Long green.

The next trip is planned and Mrs. Flusher (aka the Quad Queen) and I are going to be winging our way to Vegas next month! I've challenged her though - because she's never had a Royal Flush on dollars.

"You've never had a Royal Flush on dollars," I said the other day. "I challenge you to get one!"

Part of the reason we play Video Poker at the quarter level is that we're cheap bastards frugal. See, we get dinged 30% tax if we hit a Jackpot over $1200. That adds up on a dollar royal. It adds up to pretty close to 30% of $4K. Now, if we have a losing year, we can claim some of that back based on our losings for the year - but that sounds like a pretty lame-ass consolation prize.

However... what if we both nailed dollar Royals??? So what if we lose some dough off the top. It's a minute portion of the EV of playing.
So that's one of the goals for the next trip - get some dollar royals without killing our bankroll. And after all, if you don't have goals, how do you know what the hell you are doing? It is not lost on me that some of the goals we set for ourselves have resulted in spectacular results, like our triple-royal trip.